To think perhaps my son isn’t autistic but instead modern society is too challenging for him to cope with.

[SpinningTops]

My son is 7 and on the long waiting list for an autism assessment.

Sometimes I wonder whether he would cope absolutely fine if he was an 80s or 90s child. Maybe it’s rose tinted glasses but modern life seems so chaotic and jam packed, so much to learn at school etc.

He’s in a small class at school and seeing the number of children struggling, so many with ‘special jobs’ to just get them into the classroom, makes me think something is wrong with the system rather than all these children being neurodiverse. And this is an absolutely wonderful school which outwardly he says he loves.

It’s just something I’ve been thinking more and more about recently …

What is it specifically about his life that's chaotic and jam packed though? Especially if he's in a small class?

If it is a small class and he is struggling then he is more than likely to be autistic.

I can’t comment on your son but I think modern life is harder to cope with for many ND people vs life in the late 20th century due to the pace and sensory overload.

As a teacher I'm inclined to agree with you.

The school system is failing pretty much everyone currently.

I’m no expert but I do think to an extent you may be right and maybe this is why there is such an explosion in diagnosis.

The work my kids do at school compared to me at the same age seems way more, and harder. They have so many assessments through the year (year 7 and 9), plus more homework, harder work in general. Then additionally I think I played hockey once a week, whereas my kids do their school sport training twice a week (including one at 6.45am), orchestra twice a week and this is by no means excessive - plenty of kids have extra curriculars every morning and evening. I just came home, did a bit of homework and then caught up with my neighbour, watched a bit of TV etc.

Is this a subtle "too many kids are being diagnosed as autistic" thread?

Mine are fine with it, in fact they seem to thrive but I can imagine that plenty of children would find this schedule to be pretty overwhelming.

I actually think maybe it’s more a “modern life is harder on ND kids so they need more assistance”
Im not sure about this though because I do think school was pretty brutal for ND kids in the 80s.

I get what you're saying when it comes to older children but this seems a bit odd at age 7.
If he is in a small class is he at a private school? Some private schools seem.to push children from the get go with excessive pressure, homework etc.

What is he like at home?

Yanbu. Im autistic but managed okay in the 90s and early 00s at school but the school system was so different! My eldest is autistic and had to go into a sen school, my youngest is autistic, incredibly bright top of his school doing Ks3 when he should be on ks2 but he struggles to cope at school sometimes. Its down to the school budget, they dont have enough money for those with sen needs so those that would usually go outside with a TA and work in little groups - that doesnt happen they end up disrupting the class which stresses him out. He has to wear ear defenders to try & help him. But if he was at school in the 90s i dont think hed be struggling with the noise/kids disrupting at all.
its not just school, its daily life too. The fact people can just reach you on your mobile phone - ughhh. Dont like it. Technology/inernet shouldnt of advanced past the early 00s.

My son has asd and ahdh. He is a vocal and highly intelligent 12 year old. He is aware that overstimulation is a constant theme, goes on a school bus he says it’s like a library because people don’t speak, people just look at flashing screens, in his words. He find it isolating. On a different level, he is aware of the injustices and corruption in the world, is highly attuned to unfairness.

I had to give up working because he is exhausted after school and our paediatrician said it would be the best thing I could do for him - but so many people are unable to make that choice for their SEN kids. I think he recognises that we’re all siloed in every way. I think for children with communication issues the way we all live doesn’t really help as modern life can be incredibly isolating. He horses about with his friends at school but doesn’t see anybody outside it. There nothing like the level of human interaction we used to have.

but then I have to remember if this were the 80s, he’d be the odd shy but noisy child who can’t sit still and would probably have zero support at school.

I think assessment culture must make everyone stressed. I can't remember any of that growing up in primary school. There was one maths teacher who wasn't very nice and shouted at me but nothing else. That was at private school.

I then remember playing with my neighbour and she was practising handwriting, she was adamant that I was doing it WRONG because I wasnt putting a finger between each word to measure the space. I just looked at her like I know you aren't correct, you just haven't seen that you don't have to do it that way, it's just the way you are being taught. That was my realisation that we have different education systems.

Young kids don't realise though that they are in a system yet.

I think I agree. I'm not suggesting over diagnosis .my DC are both in the category like your son, though one has a dx. I teach and see many kids who struggle with the demands and complexities now that weren't there in the same way a generation ago. Having says that, I teach in a small, very pastorally focused setting and we have kids both with and without diagnoses who are managing great with us but have moved from much busier settings. If your ds is still struggling, there may be more going on.

Life was incredibly difficult for ND kids in the 1980s and 1990s. Not helped by the fact that there was much less awareness and very little diagnosis.

Back then, we just internalised the belief that it was all our fault.

I'm female, nearing 60, a teacher (secondary) and diagnosed autistic. I was always autistic and picked up MH diagnoses from 5 years old onwards that were the precursors before ASD was 'invented' in 2014.

Since the introduction of the National Curriculum and the Inspectorate system, schools have been forced to become increasingly rigid. Children (like myself when I was younger) who would previously have been able to self-regulate through various means no longer have these 'coping mechanisms' available to them. The cultural shifts in modern society that include less physicality and more social interaction via media (even if that is just passive consumption) are causing chaos. I don't believe there's currently a unified theory as to what childhood is or should be.

However, in many ways a lot of diagnoses in the MH handbook (DSM) are inventions to explain an apparent non-fitting with the industrialised and hyper individualised world. I'm not saying if we all went and sat around in fields and forests, then we'd be absolutely fine; more that I'm not 100% convinced humans are able to evolve at the speed technology is demanding and this is leading to problems, especially with children whose brains are still forming.

The same number of children struggle now, as in the 80s and 90s… the difference is that now they have the diagnosis pathways and support they need so they are more visible.

I think you are onto something but have it slightly backwards - the neurodivgent children were there in the 70s and 80s but went largely un noticed. We have to wonder why that is

I think both things are true, likely he is autistic but would have coped without intervention or diagnosis years ago due to different demands.

I say this as a DM with two diagnosed Autistic children.

I think modern life is horribly stressful for children. I’m not sure if it’s harder for ND children now or in the 80s/ 90s but it’s differently stressful.

I think it’s important that ND is being picked up now, and we shouldn’t dismiss as “it’s just stressful for everyone now” (even though it also is).

Ever think the curriculum is designed for the highly functional, academic ND child and it’s everyone else who has to fit in? People aren’t perfect and they don’t have to be. The most successful children I saw in teaching were the ones whose parents could do the work with them at home to close any gaps and then during the school day they got their heads down and muddled through without taking it too seriously.

I stand by the fact that screens have caused a lot of what we know as ADHD. I think the instant gratification does something to the chemicals in the brain and then the person is constantly seeking that same dopamine hit quickly in other aspects of life. If they don’t get that same hit quickly, they get restless and need to move onto something else. It becomes disabling to them as they constantly seek that same hit.
An amazing number of ADHD people (children and adults) can stay focused on screens far longer than on other things. That’s not a coincidence.

I think it’s a complex issue that isn’t necessarily black and white.
-it could be that the levels of neurodiversity in society have always been the same and that modern life has made it harder for everyone to just ‘get on’ because of the overwhelming level of stimulation
-it could be that we are just much better at identifying people who shows signs of neurodiversity
-it could be that modern society is ‘creating’ more neurodiversity through the things we eat and drink, drugs we are putting into our systems etc
-it could be like you say that actually modern life is just really intense and overwhelming and people aren’t actually neurodiverse, we’re just living in a way that doesn’t suit the human brain
or could be a combination of all of the above. Plenty of people chose to live in a quieter way. I cannot live in a city, for example. I’m not diagnosed ND but I find the lights, the noise, the signposts completely unbearable. I need the quiet of the countryside, the one lane roads and dark at night to feel calm and in control.

There is a big elephant in the room we are ignoring is the use of screens by young children
Not just phones, but tablets and TV. There is the ability to watch cartoons and videos 24/7 so constant stimulation with flashing lights and bright colours and loud noises.
There is no time for down time or just being bored which can lead to creativity.
Schools have always had tests and assessments (I can remember having end of year tests and reading tests and I started school in the seventies)

And in some cases, those children were better able to cope then. I do think that modern society is far less tolerant of children deviating from an increasingly narrow ideal. Muddling along ok doesn’t seem to be enough any more.