Worried sick in hospital with DS

[stitty]

a week and a half ago my 8m old was eating toast in his high chair while I was sat infront of him watching him of course. He started to gag and was struggling with a big bit of toast that I could see at the back of his throat, it wouldn’t go down and it also wouldn’t come out. In a panic I pulled him out of his high chair to do back blows. It came to the front of his mouth I pulled it out all was good. When I pulled him out the high chair in a hurry his thigh got caught on the high chair tray. He didn’t cry so I thought nothing of it but noticed the bruise the next day. (It’s about the size of a 5p coin) DS was fine in himself so I didn’t seek medical attention.

fast forward to today DS had his 8m HV review and she noted down that he had a bruise and asked how, I told her and she said these things happen etc. later on she called me and said as he is non mobile (not walking yet) her boss has said she needs to call social services and refer us.

Around 9pm I get a call from emergency social services requesting I take him straight to a&e to have a top to toe check done by a consultant. I got to a&e and the dr said it’s tiny and no other marks he’s fine. Then sent the report to SS. SS then request we go to the ward and get signed of by a consultant on the ward before we can leave. Obviously midnight by now so no consultant available but the junior doctor checked him and said SS have reported ‘multiple marks on the body’ there’s not multiple. It’s just the one bruise. Dr noted down one small bruise and a little redness in anus area - he has that almost always as he’s on comfort milk so has wet poos. It’s not a rash as such but can be a little red if he’s pooed a few times in the day.

the Junior dr requested we stay here so the consultant can see my son and ‘relevant authorities’ decide what next. I am worried out of my mind. He’s never had any marks on him before and we have seen the GP multiple times through his life where they’ve stripped him down and they’ve seen nothing.

I suffer with PP anxiety as it is and I’m spiralling that SS think I’m some evil mother and would hurt my child purposely and they’ll take him away from me. Has anyone been through this? Please tell me everything was fine and we will go home soon with our lovely DS 😢

I’m sure they’ll let you go soon without any further investigation (unless there’s more back story). She was just doing her job as are the hospital and ultimately, it’s important that they have these checks in place for the protection of the many children who are being abused. I can imagine it’s incredibly stressful though. It’s crazy that they’ve done this in the middle of the night!

@Terrytheweasel very stressed indeed. More so for Ds who’s a very light sleeper and keeps waking crying due to the noise of the ward. We can’t have the door shut as apparently that’s protocol for safeguarding concerns😢

Oh op, I hope you are home soon. I know this is inconvenient and may seem OTT , especially as you are clearly a very good mum. But I’d rather the social services and drs were incredibly thorough for 1000 children that turned out to be at zero risk of harm, than have even one child die from neglect or abuse.

If there's genuinely nothing more to this then that's poor practice on behalf of social services, it's not an emergency and you shouldn't have been asked to go in the middle of the night, it's disproportionate. I hope it's all sorted for you quickly in the morning.

I can't reassure you from a parents point of view however I work in A&E and more recently there's been a big change in how we look after children under 1. Any injury has to be referred to the children's wards for discharge to be signed off by a consultant. Just continue to be open and honest.

I am a young mum (early 20s) so perhaps that contributes to them thinking this could be an emergency and something serious!

I'm sorry you must be very worried but if there's nothing more to it you'll be able to go home once the consultant has signed off. I know how stressful it is, when DD was a toddler I had to spend 4 days in the hospital with her while she underwent a thorough investigation because my ex and his parents decided to accuse me of abuse and added new accusations each time an investigation showed nothing. But as horrible as that time was, I'd rather go through it again than have a genuinely at risk child go without investigation.

I’ve completely edited my post because I misread “thigh” as “thing” and was highly confused! Please ignore 😂

The HV isn’t seeing a penis?! She say a bruise on his thigh. The paedetrician who had to check for other bruises saw him completely naked bacause that’s their job.

OP, I think anyone would feel incredibly stresed in this situation. I’m sure it’s just because he is non walking and has a bruise. If he is crawling then he isn’t non mobile so if he is crawling get that recorded on paper worker.

I’d say that by doing this they’re risking the opposite, I really wouldn’t be keen on accepting well child checks given this overreach.

Its not your age its just procedure like @Blueberrymuffinsforthewinhas said you've just ended up being longer because of the time of day. If there is no backstory no other bruising I really wouldn't worry. You will be discharged as soon as the drs come in the morning. If they really thought you where a danger to your son you wouldn't be sat alone with him now

I had this when my dd was in primary school. She’d been bitten by a bug in the playground on her arm which made it red and swell slightly. She fell in the playground in the same break time and hurt her arm. When I picked her up she said her arm was really painful so we took her to a&e.
A&E said they’d have to refer to SS because of the red mark on her arm where she was bitten by the bug. They kept her in overnight I was allowed to stay with her but they had to be able to see us at all times. Next morning a different doctor came, examined her and prescribed antibiotics for the bite that made her arm swell and discharged her. We had no further SS involvement and DD is 21 now.
Just be open and honest with them I hope you’re home soon

@stitty I'm so sorry that must be so worrying. 💐 Hopefully they'll just let you go soon. It's not ok for social services to have exaggerated the number of bruises on the report, so I would check that it is definitely changed to say just the one bruise. X

@NearlyDec he isn’t crawling properly yet but he does move around loads. He pushes himself backwards and gets under my sofa! He rolls around absolutely everywhere and gets on his hands and knees then flops himself back down. He sits up then throws himself back down/to the side
I feel so nervous now to let him have free range to explore the floor incase he knocks himself and I get in trouble as Although he’s non mobile according to SS , he does actually move around still and can knock himself on furniture etc.

I'm actually reassured that these checks are in place OP. But you personally have nothing to worry about. You clearly love and look after your little one. Hopefully you will both be home for lunch!

When my daughter was younger she rolled off the bed and then later began vomitting so I was worried she had concussion. I took her to A&E and they said they had to phone social services as she was under 1. By the time we were seen it was late at night they wanted me to wait until SS had phoned them back. I said no I wasn't waiting as it was the middle of the night and she was tired.

I spent the whole night totally spiralling as you did. Especially since some of our extended family have had very bad experience of social work incompetence.

If I remember correctly a social worker phoned me back the next day and was happy with what I said. It seems a bit OTT. I know they have to be careful but you would think there would be a way to keep track of any injures and report if it happens multiple times.

I remember those days when they wiggle like a worm across the room. It’s very cute.

You’re in a incrediably stressful situation. The consultant (senior doctor) will be round but junior doctors are striking again from today so it may take a little while. Take deep breaths, makes sure you get a drink and if they’re not giving you some food ask if there is some one wjo can sit with your little one for 10 mins while you grab some thing from the hospital shop or cafe area.

It's mot personal OP. Sadly, when horrible cases of abuse have been identified, sadly once it is too late, the fact findings almostvaleaus identified a failure in the system and episodes of concerns that had been dismissed.

That's why they gave such tight protocols in place now. Think of it like cancer screening. Your GP has to refer you under the cancer pathway for tests that will need to be signed off by a consultant, even though the risk remains low.

You will soon be back home.

I really feel for you being put through this.

no wonder mothers refuse health visitor visits.

maybe they are being hyper vigilant because of Sara Sherif being in the news.

but do they not know the harms these investigations cost?

you gave a reasonable explanation for a very minor injury.

if there are no other risk factors (eg history of domestic abuse /drugs) they are being very heavy handed.

what a waste of resources.

you will get through this.

it will be obvious to the paediatrician that it’s an accidental injury and they will sign you out asap.

What an awful experience, so stressful. How can this be beat practice when other children are missed by multiple authorities with 'missed opportunities ', with genuine health and wellbeing, abuse and beglc5 concerns? Perhaps time and resource wastes on unnecessary cases such as this. Hope you're home soon.

My DP was saying the same, we are now anxious to do HV visits when a small bruise with reasoning has caused all of this. I will attach the photo of the bruise

here it is.

No history of drugs or domestic abuse. Although myself and DP moved from south to north a few years ago and the social worker was questioning me on why we would leave our family’s and come here alone?!.. only because we couldn’t afford a mortgage down south but could here and wanted to get on the property ladder. I asked what relevance this even has. She said to ‘piece things together’. I feel like we are being treated as criminals!

Thats a tiny bruise. They're massively overreacting imo. Bizarre to question you on why you moved, people move all over the world for all sorts of reasons, it's perfectly normal.

You’ve been profiled. Do either of you work? Do you own your own home?