To ask how you find a fully remote job? Commute is killing me

[CharlieJaneJay]

I have 14 month old little girl and went back to work full-time when she was 9 months due to finances. We could’ve technically afford for me to drop to 4 days a week but it would’ve meant giving up investing money for her, and missing out of family days out etc and living off beans and toast so we decided I would go back full-time.

my job is okay, an entry-level customer service role. Most people’s idea of hell but I find the work okay. It is the commute that kills me. Our nursery is only a 2 minute walk from our house (literally) but then it’s a further 40 mins to get to work. I’m hybrid with 3 days in office 2 days at home. The home days are so lovely - wake up 7am, play and cuddle with DD, take our time with breakfast, get her to nursery at 8:45am and home and logged in 9am. Breaks and lunch I’ll clean, do the dishes, pick up toys etc. Log out at 5:30pm and by 6pm we’re all cosy at home and DD is eating her dinner.

Office days on the other hand I wake up 6am. Mad dash to have breakfast, get DD ready and at the nursery for 8am on the dot, then run carrying a massive backpack with a laptop in to get to the train which is 9/10 times late but getting an earlier one would mean having to drop DD off before the nursery even opens which is obviously impossible. If train doesn’t turn up then I get the bus which consistently leaves me 10 minutes late - today the bus stopped for 15 minutes because someone literally shat on the seat and the driver didn’t know what to do.

I leave work 17:30 pm and mostly don’t get home until 6:30 PM due to train/bus delays. Train was cancelled this evening, bus showed up but they had only a single decker which was full of people and I physically couldn’t fit on the bus. I got dirty looks from nursery staff when picking up DD late (I don’t blame them) and hit with late fees. To avoid late pick ups I’ve been paying for Ubers but no Uber driver picked up my request tonight.

My commute is destroying me, my Apple Watch actually sends me High Heart rate warnings on commute days (yes I have had it checked by a doctor and I’m healthy but the stress of the commute triggers high heart rate).

I know there’s plenty of other in-person jobs that may be a bit closer and accommodate nursery times better, but I love remote work so much. It broke my heart to go back full-time after maternity leave, but I feel with a fullyremote job I’d still get to enjoy mornings and evenings with DD which would soften the blow.

Could anyone with a fully remote job please advise what sector please? I don’t have a degree so it would need to be something realistic

And before anyone asks yes we’ve discussed how my partner could help but his shifts do not work around childcare at all, changing to a different job will result in huge pay-cut as he works in a very niche area

How does her father participate?

I sympathise but the only way to make it work is to share drop off and pick ups so you get some clear runs at the commute.

I work for a charity, as a media and communications manager. Requires experience but no degree particularly. It’s not fully remote but there’s no presenteeism, if you can get the work done between 9.30 and 4.30 then crack on, and pick up the leftovers in an evening after children are asleep.

DP works 12 hour shifts 7am-7pm 4 days a week unfortunately

I think fully remote would be difficult to get. Do you have to be in the office those 3 days? Can you put in a request to increase the wfh days?

I’d happily stay at this job if it was fully WFH. The evening before a WFH day I’m chilling and enjoying my evening whereas the evening before an office day I feel sick with dread.

I’ve thought of doing a flexible working request for fully WFH but I expect they will find that cheeky.

On the other hand they have been voted one of the best employers in the country for women so maybe they would understand that being fully WFH would allow me to accommodate childcare without having to sacrifice my job with them?

That’s a pain & I do hope he’s looking for something more flexible or part time. It’s much easier when you share the load - exH did 3 days a week when DS was in nursery, then picked up an extra day when school started, which meant I could ignore pick up and drop off, dinner etc on his nonworking days, life was loads easier.

Can you request a more flexible work arrangement?

And you can put it a request to be fully remote?

Put in a flexible working request. I cut my office days from 3 to 2 each week simply filling out a form. Could you go to one day a week on the day your DH doesn’t work? My colleague does 1 day in the office a week due to childcare, the day she isn’t in I’d her husbands day at home. Her child is 12 so too old for nursery and doesn’t need constant supervision but does need an adult in the house.

Why does it take you from 6am - 8am to get up, dressed and to nursery?

Agree your DH needs to look at their schedule to make it more workable around family life.

Fully remote jobs are difficult to come by IMO .

I'd ask for four days at home each week and DP can cover the fifth day when he's not at work. That way you still have a presence in the office. Maybe they'll compromise on three days in the office, but with DP covering one day that means only one day a week with the childcare rush.

So he could do one day a week pick up and drop off. If he could tie that into one of you office days, that would help a lot

Who cares if they think you are cheeky? Especially when you are thinking of leaving anyway

Can your partner do one day drop off and pickup if he's doing a 4 day week? Surely that would help. Or get a childminder/earlier nursery who can accommodate your child from 7.30am to take some pressure off the journey. It's a lot doing all the nursery runs on top of a commute. Can you shorten your hours to give you some leeway?

I can’t think of any valid reason they would have to reject a fully WFH request other than the classic “If we offer it to you others will want it.” We are hybrid so we know that job can be done from home however the contract states minimum 3 days in office. The alternative to offering me fully WFH would be for me to quit and I’m the best agent on my team so it would be a shame for them surely?

i have just checked my emails from when I first got the job and on the job offer email it does have a paragraph stating “We're committed to creating an inclusive, supportive workplace where everyone can flourish. If you need any adjustments during the recruitment process-or once you're part of the team-just let us know. Whether it's flexible hours, adapted equipment, or a bit of extra support, we'll work with you to make sure you can do your best work.”. Do you think that makes it fair enough for me to ask for fully WFH?

I don’t know. I genuinely enjoy the job and I am doing very well there, I’m constantly putting our team ahead of other teams in terms of stats and productivity.

fully WFH is the dream but I could probably accept 1 or 2 office days a week and just fork out for the Ubers for nursery pick ups - I think ideally I’d just need to be at home more than the office. The 3 days office and 2 days at home isn’t working

I work fully from home and have done since my second of three was born (I'm also PT). DH is the same. It's been fully amazing for work life balance (although has had a negative impact on my career and I'm pretty unsociable now!) We work long hours but one of us drops off and one picks up. It would not work at all if we were both in the office.

I had this job pre covid and we didn't go back to the office unless we wanted to.

Put in the flexible working request. They may say no but you won't know until you try? Perhaps even an extra day at home would help?

Fully remote here, have been for over 20 years, Charity sector. I do visit clients but I manage my own time and diary so i'm never on the road at peak commute.

Pay isn't amazing but the flexibility is worth more to me as I run a successful side hustle around the day job.

I could never go back to a 9 -5 office based job with hours stuck in traffic either end.

Definitely request fully remote its worth a try ,my husband has worked from home for the last few years for 3 different companies. He works in data but all three companies had customer service jobs too.
He’s found these via linked in so if your not on there yet its worth signing up .

I would put the request in but request 2 office days a month

The thing is everything you have listed here are reasons and would actually make you better at your job!

Just think. If you were a man you wouldve already requested this months ago.

40 minutes is quite a short commute tbf but I guess it all adds up.

How far is it, could you cycle instead? Or get a scooter? Then you can go whenever you want.

Just to add for context they do have some fully-WFH employees doing the same job role who live in another region - they are left over from when they hired during COVID. However since 2022 they only hire locals on a hybrid basis.

Bit off topic but how much do you earn and how much do you keep after nursery fees?

Try group insurance

Often have WFH roles

I take home £1800 a month and have £1200 left after childcare