To ask how you find a fully remote job? Commute is killing me

[CharlieJaneJay]

I have 14 month old little girl and went back to work full-time when she was 9 months due to finances. We could’ve technically afford for me to drop to 4 days a week but it would’ve meant giving up investing money for her, and missing out of family days out etc and living off beans and toast so we decided I would go back full-time.

my job is okay, an entry-level customer service role. Most people’s idea of hell but I find the work okay. It is the commute that kills me. Our nursery is only a 2 minute walk from our house (literally) but then it’s a further 40 mins to get to work. I’m hybrid with 3 days in office 2 days at home. The home days are so lovely - wake up 7am, play and cuddle with DD, take our time with breakfast, get her to nursery at 8:45am and home and logged in 9am. Breaks and lunch I’ll clean, do the dishes, pick up toys etc. Log out at 5:30pm and by 6pm we’re all cosy at home and DD is eating her dinner.

Office days on the other hand I wake up 6am. Mad dash to have breakfast, get DD ready and at the nursery for 8am on the dot, then run carrying a massive backpack with a laptop in to get to the train which is 9/10 times late but getting an earlier one would mean having to drop DD off before the nursery even opens which is obviously impossible. If train doesn’t turn up then I get the bus which consistently leaves me 10 minutes late - today the bus stopped for 15 minutes because someone literally shat on the seat and the driver didn’t know what to do.

I leave work 17:30 pm and mostly don’t get home until 6:30 PM due to train/bus delays. Train was cancelled this evening, bus showed up but they had only a single decker which was full of people and I physically couldn’t fit on the bus. I got dirty looks from nursery staff when picking up DD late (I don’t blame them) and hit with late fees. To avoid late pick ups I’ve been paying for Ubers but no Uber driver picked up my request tonight.

My commute is destroying me, my Apple Watch actually sends me High Heart rate warnings on commute days (yes I have had it checked by a doctor and I’m healthy but the stress of the commute triggers high heart rate).

I know there’s plenty of other in-person jobs that may be a bit closer and accommodate nursery times better, but I love remote work so much. It broke my heart to go back full-time after maternity leave, but I feel with a fullyremote job I’d still get to enjoy mornings and evenings with DD which would soften the blow.

Could anyone with a fully remote job please advise what sector please? I don’t have a degree so it would need to be something realistic

Start looking on Indeed for fully remote roles. But also be open to flexi work as 2 or 3 days in the ofdice is very different to 5.

Totally feel for you, I was the same and I’ve no kids! Honestly tho, the £ you think you’re gaining working a 5th day your wasting on Uber, bus/train fare, late fees etc. I think it’s more important that you have the work life balance you need rather than a little but more £ for days out or savings. Put yourself first x that 1 extra day’s pay isn’t all that once you’ve been taxed and ni’d on it, you be better to do the 4days and have a day where you can enjoy baby while she’s little. Ive struggled too to find and stay in remote work but it’s out there, I promise you, it’s not a unicorn! And I see lots if customer service remote roles on sites like Indeed, Reed, also have a google and speak to some agencies and tell them what you want, they’ll do the legwork. Before covid I used to commute 5days, I was tired, miserable, and it cost me £289 a mth 🤦🏼‍♀️ such a waste when TFL is so unreliable, dirty and overcrowded. After covid I was hybrid but whenever they tried cutting the hybrid out, id leave and find another job. It’s mainly poor badly run companies that are still resisting remote/hybrid work. They save £££ on space, amenities etc and you have happier employees. I prefer to get up at 8am and log on for 9am, I have time to shower, have my breakfast. I could never go back to getting up at 6am to be on the train for 7am and at my desk for 8:30am that’s no life, just pure misery

I think it’s definitely worth you asking them! It’s not cheeky at all x people need flexibility especially with young families and it’s a job lol not a jail, expectations need to be realistic. Have an honest chat with them and tell them what you've told us, your stressed out, dread workdays, high heart rate etc

I had this with my last role - 4-5 days in and it was always a mad rush in the mornings for nursery. Then Covid meant the kids spent most of the time on my knees or garden.

Post Covid I changed to a role that was one day in the office because although mornings are a different kind of chaos now heading to school I am able to spend time watching them grow as opposed dealing with the mad commute and then needed a little decompression time before mum mode kicks in.

Fully remote seems to be getting rarer and rarer as employers are pushing back against it. Those roles are definitely not as plentiful as they were. I'd ask for 4 days at home. So what if they find it cheeky, all they can say is no.

Apply for WFH permanently and once decision made you take stock and decide on next steps. Good luck

Can you move one of your office days to his day off? That way you have one day less to stress about

You are fortunate that you have the commute 3 days pw only and 2 days wfh.
WFH simply isn't an option for some and I fully appreciate the full on rushing around with getting kids up and out.
You may have to reframe your thoughts OP.
Please don't think that I am being insensitive but the situation could be much worse