Xmas present to help my Dd be one of the teachers favourites

[Justlookatthatrain]

😂Joking-sort of

But seriously, what do you buy your child’s teacher at Christmas?
I worked in a school and there were 100% the mums/kids who bought the flashiest presents-good perfume, champagne, huge bouquets and it did have an effect and everyone knew who those mums were
I’m sure teachers will deny this 😅
A good, thoughtful present does make a difference

Aibu?

You said “I’m perfectly happy to receive a present” on a thread where parents are anxious about whether or not they need to offer gifts. So instead of allaying those fears, you reinforced the idea that gifts should be given. I also currently teach in a school in an affluent middle-class area but the catchment area also covers more deprived areas. You don’t know the financial circumstances of all the families. There will be some who don’t have a spare £10 to spunk on you.

Personally, I think all schools should ban teachers from receiving gifts which would take the pressure off parents who feel obliged to keep up with the Joneses.

Whenever I see a thread about teachers gifts I think of this thread. So if you give anything don’t give food or alcohol. In this instance a voucher or money would have been more useful to her than a fancy hamper.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4853273-aibu-end-of-term-present

I’m in the lowest paid profession compared to all my friends who also graduated from university, it is not a well paid wage for graduates at all. I’m also not a millennial btw.

Happy to receive any gift does not mean in any way that a parent has to give one at all, I hate the thought of someone struggling to afford a gift and feeling that pressure. I was merely responding to the posts about teachers not wanting bits of rubbish and mugs etc. I was always grateful for any gift.

Maybe not a well paid graduate job but still better than many.

It took four years of extra study after school
and A levels…it deserves a decent wage, especially with all it entails.

I would gently suggest that if despite repeated and clear explanations from many teachers that it really isn't necessary to get a present, and that their child won't be treated in any way different depending on the gift-giving status of the parent, if someone is still feeling anxious about it, well they really really shouldn't .

I know, I was a teacher for 30 years but I was better off than many families in my school which was in a former mining area so I didn't expect them to subsidise my salary.

Is that what you give your waiter/hairdresser?

a

When I was 7 my mum spotted my teacher's purse looked like she'd had it since she was 16 and was rotting away. She bought her a decent non OTT one for the Xmas gift giving, and the teacher told her it was the most genuinely thoughtful gift because it was quite literally 'for her'.

‘Expecting it’ who is expecting it? and how is a gift subsidising a salary? What an odd way to think…

Where I live, i’m the poorer one with a much older can and crappier clothes than everyone else, it depends where you are, but the consensus is not generally that teachers are well paid.

I'm on maternity so money is tighter than usual but not in dire straits, so I'll be giving DD1s nursery some crocheted Christmas ornaments and baked goods to share in the tea room 🤷‍♀️ but I have also gotten a few bits and bobs for her keyworker as she's leaving close to Christmas. Nothing fancy again, things like a Starbucks gift voucher as then she can spend it on whatever she wants. And a little crocheted baby dribble bib and matching cardigan for DD1s other main carer who is going on maternity leave in early 2026. DD1s 2 favourite workers at the nursery are leaving by early 2026 I'm a little sad for her, although I know she'll be fine and they'll hire replacements who she'll equally like

Whenever I feel like I ought to give a gift to someone who I don't know wtf they like I always do lots of little gifts instead so hopefully they at least like some of it 😂 vouchers to places that you can buy a variety of things like Starbucks (which obviously serve things other than coffee) I think go down well. If I know someone well enough, then wine or food... sometimes bath bombs or similar fancy toiletries. I usually try and crochet something small too, especially if I know they like a certain thing like I don't know, kangaroos or something - I'll make them a little amigurumi kangaroo ornament, the sort you can put on your desk as a decoration

Another poster said she gave a large gift (possibly the tea at Fortnums one) because teachers didn't have much money. I can't be bothered to look back and see who it was. We clearly have had different experiences as teachers and as parents. I'm long since retired so I really don't care any more and have nothing more to add.

Yes things are likely different now, teaching is a different world to years ago.

I don't think we're well paid.

I think £55k is ok, on UPS Outer London. Not loads, but a very decent wage.

You've chosen a specific example.

Most of the country are not on any sort of London weighting. UPS3 for most of the country is a shade over £50k.

I don’t think it is a decent wage for the level of qualifications required. I am also on UPS 3, with a tlr. I have been teaching for more than 20 years.
My one year post doc son earns 3 x what I do ( i also have a doctorate), his girlfriend at the same stage earns twice what I do, one of my other sons earns nearly twice my income, a tube driver earns twice what I earn, a tanker driver earns more than me, most tradies will be on double my income. I bloody love my job but for ffs lets drop the ridiculous notion that it is well paid.
For most of my career ( ie when my kids were younger) a single parent teacher would have been better off on benefits.

But according to Mumsnet teachers it's pro rata as you aren't paid for the holidays so the FTE (48 weeks /year) equivalent is pretty decent.

Or are we saying headline salary is actual salary?

I've chosen the specific example of my own pay! There are many teachers on some sort of London weighting. But yes, it's not the best paid job out there, but again, it's not a terrible wage. Less experienced teachers have had an overdue but pretty good increase in wages recently.
I've never met a teacher who describes f/t as pro-rata and not paid holidays.....how ridiculous.

You've obviously not been on Mumsnet very long then!
There's teachers falling over themselves to say the holidays are "unpaid".

We always gone for a Christmas decoration...dd picks one from asda or tesco that she says her teacher will like (usually an angel or something unless she did choose a monster for one teacher who she didn't like as she shouted) and a hand made card by dd and a box of chocolate biscuits for the reception and the handy man who run the school.

Home made card with a little handwritten message from the child.
Im on my 20th primary school Christmas working in schools and this is the gift I appreciate most.

Totally agree. My cousin drives a freight train for substantially more than a teacher earns.