Xmas present to help my Dd be one of the teachers favourites

[Justlookatthatrain]

😂Joking-sort of

But seriously, what do you buy your child’s teacher at Christmas?
I worked in a school and there were 100% the mums/kids who bought the flashiest presents-good perfume, champagne, huge bouquets and it did have an effect and everyone knew who those mums were
I’m sure teachers will deny this 😅
A good, thoughtful present does make a difference

Aibu?

When I was a teacher (in the US) we were not allowed to accept gifts worth more than $25 (19 pounds). I liked small things, but really didn't like it overall, and as a writer above said, it didn't make me like the kid more! It made me feel for those kids who couldn't give gifts. What I DID love (and the only things I still have) was a bookmark one student made with his own art, and a modest Christmas ornament, and this latter only because that child made such an impression on me and I wanted to remember her in the years to follow. Skip the bribes; have your kid draw a card or write a letter. I guarantee, it will stick with the teacher where no extravagant gift will.

I’m a secondary teacher and I love getting card and little gifts from students, from a rather squashed chocolate freddo to wine and occasionally special gifts for my hobby.
We do have to declare gifts over £30 but that hasn’t ever been a problem.
As for landfill, other than wine, chocolates ( and yes literally 99.99% of teachers like those) I have kept every gift I have been given over my 25 + year career, along with all the cards, some really special messages in those.

Honestly, expensive gifts are ridiculous and embarrassing. You'd come across as trying to get one over everyone else to the other parents and as OTT to the teacher. Something small or made by the child is far more appropriate.

Well, a voucher is probably preferable but you seem to want to get something personalised in some way. It will depend on the teacher of course but the painting idea is something that is meaningful to YOU but I'm not sure the teacher will love it that much. I'm sure she will appreciate some nice words in a card and an email to the senior leaders though if you are going down the painting route.

My husband once got given tickets to a comic convention, as the parents knew he loved that sort of thing - it was very sweet and showed they'd put effort into working out what he liked (and that their child listened in class!). He also used to love a nice handmade card or a bar of his favourite cheap chocolate - it really is the thought that counts.

Absolutely no mugs under any circumstances!

Yes. I was just reading our policy today. local authority non school. We are only allowed to accept up to £25 value and no alcohol. I actually thought £25 was quite high. In reality we only get very occasional biscuits and chocolates. These are shared/ kept at work. It seems like another world to me where people are talking about £50 gifts for teachers. The idea that someone wants to gain favour from a teacher by buying gifts is quite troubling to me.

My DD used to take in a chocolate Santa for her teacher, swim/ballet etc instructors..
Think she was the only one that ever did… we didn’t do it for favour though, just thought it was a nice little thank you

This, 100%

As a teacher I love a kind card, way way more than the small gifts I often receive. I genuinely don’t expect any gifts at all and I certainly don’t favour the children of parents who give more expensive gifts. I appreciate some of them have had a lot of thought put into them but if you really feel like gifting something to me a £5 contribution (or less, whatever you can afford) towards a John Lewis or Tesco voucher from the class really is the best thing ever. It can be put towards Christmas food, a nice gift I can choose for myself or even, in some cases, things I need or want for my classroom that the school budget doesn’t stretch to.

Please, no more mugs/ candles/ bottles of wine/ tote bags! They’re thoughtful and kind but after coming on for 18 years as a teacher I have them coming out of my ears and they go straight to the charity shop.

I do a bag of homemade tablet and a Christmas tree ornament from my kids each year for teachers and the TAs get just tablet x

A box or two, that’s fine, but imagine getting 30 boxes! Even the most greedy of teachers would end up chucking that amount!

My ex SIL works at a private school. One year, she got a voucher for a spa, booked in for a certain day and time in the Easter holidays...lovely present, except the families live in housekeeper/ nanny ended up picking her up, waiting and driving her home, even though she can drive. Apparently that was part of her gift/ relaxing time Bizarre. God knows how they arranged it 😂
she liked the Gin based gifts best, but alcohols tricky.

I don't even write cards anymore, they just go in the bin.
I'm not completely heartless lol, but they have so many teachers and TAs it's just not financially viable for me.

When my sons were in nursery about 10 years ago they had a lovely key worker that i'd chat to at pick-up and drop off. I found out it was just her and her older son for xmas, she loved mint chocolate, she always treated herself to fluffy socks for winter ect, so I did get her a little gift bag with that stuff in and some bubble bath, a candle, probably a mug lol aswell. Ive never had any money, I probably spent less than a tenner, but I hope she knew I'd remembered things she'd mentioned. She was bloody lovely.

In 30 years I never had a year when I got that many boxes of chocolates. When my daughter was a child I took any chocolates home and shared them with her. In later years I kept them in my stock cupboard for when I needed an energy boost at the end of the day.

I never taught at a school where the parents were wealthy. £10 towards a joint present would have been way beyond most and I would rather they spent it on their own children. Not everyone gave a gift and that was fine, I didn't expect anything other than, maybe, a small token.

People really ought to know that the sort of salary progression you describe is only true if your school has the budget to sustain it. And increasingly, many schools don't.

It shouldn't be like that, but progression up the pay scale is entirely at the school's discretion. It used to be that length of service, and meeting attainment targets would pretty much ensure a smooth transition up the scale year on year, but at my school nobody has been awarded an increase for the last 6 years, and we have all been hired and capped on MPS (main pay scale for the uninitiated) -nobody, despite length of service, subject leadership, results, extra curriculars etc, can progress past M6 to the upper pay scale.

This is a city wide problem, and there is very little movement; nobody is really able to go elsewhere to better their prospects of pay progression as it seems most local schools are in the same boat. I've been teaching for over 20 years and know lots of teachers. I don't know anyone on your salary who isn't also a deputy head or secondary colleagues who are heads of department. I've got my appraisal soon and despite consistently meeting all targets for years and going above and beyond to make lasting and sustainable whole school contributions and improvements (and working my ass off -your hours sound dreamy) I know there'll be no point in even requesting a rise. And my head is nice as pie and will just tell it straight; I have colleagues whose requests to progress up the scale have been met with the most ridiculous non-excuses and in some cases, intimidation.

Also, if you really want to stay a classroom teacher because that is what you love and are good at (like me) you will never reach the salary heights of Deputy Head or Head. Head of Department isn't really a thing in the average sized Primary school except maybe KS1 leader or similar.

Yes!! Some of us love the classroom and make the most impact grafting 'at the coal face', actually working with children, as opposed to becoming a desk-based senior leader. And there's a definite penalty for that in terms of salary progression. But there shouldn't be. The pay scale as is was created in order to reward length of service and ensure workforce retention.

A cute token of thanks at the end of the year maybe but otherwise gifting teachers is a bit odd... I mean ultimately they're just doing their jobs. The school probably has a policy on accepting gifts. A verbal "thank you for everything you've done" probably makes more of an impact to be honest. Teachers are going to warm to the students who are well behaved and work hard.

That’s lovely 🥰

I think I may go for a gift bag filled with fluffy, winter socks (I love these in winter too) one of those mugs with hot chocolate & marshmallows in, bubble bath/moisturiser etc, mini chocs and something handmade from Dd of her choice-teachers name bracelet or tree decoration etc, with a card from me and a handmade one from Dd. All in probably not hugely expensive if from Primark, but things i’d enjoy if I received.
I’ll do a similar but smaller back for the class assistant plus cards

Does this sound ok? Thoughtful?

I saw this happening when my children were at school and thought it was ridiculous, I had a discussion with the mums and we decided to all put in ten pounds and a nice card. I knew that cash at Xmas would always be appreciated.

Cash is like a tip. Teachers are professionals and I don't think it's appropriate.

As a teacher, I’d love this!

Maybe just me so feel free to ignore, but maybe serve the mug. Teachers have so many mugs! And most have their own sets at home anyway etc. Still get the hot choc bits but an accompanying mug probably isn’t necessary!

The class my DD is in has a group of very active mums who will spend an inordinate amount of time getting gifts for the teacher and then make a big show of giving it. Always given at sports events, or during assemblies etc - I find it absolutely bonkers. There’s something really showy about it which cheapens it. Instead - I ask my Dd what she would like to do and she tends to draw a picture and at the end of last year she chose a packet of wildflower seeds to go with the picture. She also gave it discreetly.

What is deemed appropriate and what actually come in handy is debatable. A voucher then. All I know is our year teachers loved it.

I'm sorry to hear that. That really is shocking.
I'm an NEU rep and if that was happening in my school for six years, I would certainly have organised localised strike action. In my school we automatically move up the paysale, including on UPS (subject to targets etc). I'm not SLT, 'just' a classroom teacher and I'm on UPS2. Please tell me you've been on to your union- the conditions you describe are not acceptable.

I am on Outer London scale, which is why it might seem higher. My issue is that I won't be able to go much higher- SLT is full in my school and nobody leaves. But it seems like a fair wage for the job I do.

Lucky you! I’m in school 8-6 and still need to do work at home!