Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

[Bex39]

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

Commenting unsolicited on anyone’s body is far from polite….whether it is positive or otherwise. It does sound very sleazy, like he’s been looking at her body and made a judgement on it. Just ew!

What a sleazy, grubby man your DH is. I would be mortified if he was my DH and even more so by his responce about Mumsnet users. Urghhhhhhh

Your husband gives me the ick. Seriously, he's gross.

54?! He's Gen X for fucks sake, he should know way better than that.

Urgh. Gross from him. Rude to comment on her body at all and worse to say ‘in great nick’ 🤮🤮🤮
needs lessons in appropriate behaviour.

No. He's 54, not 80. He's just gross.

May be middle-aged but at least we're not 54 going on whatever age Benny Hill is.
You sound way too good for him.

The things people worry about. 🙄

The husband was being a bit of a dick, but he’s a man so he’s probably quite good at that. 😀

I would have felt a bit embarrassed if were her because it is a bit of a weird comment but going against the grain, I don’t think it is the end of the world. People calling him grubby and gross… I probably wouldn’t go that far. He was trying to be funny and charming but missed the mark. Showing his age more than anything else.

What a creepy perv! I'd be disgusted and angry if a strange man remarked on my body like that when I was working. What a bastarding cheek and even worse that he so casually did it in front of you. Making an absolute mockery of your relationship.

Sleazy.

I would rather be single than in a relationship with a man like this. He’s acting like she exists for his pleasure, and doesn’t give a shit that he’s in a relationship with you. I would be seriously embarrassed by this.

That poor woman having to tolerate this bullshit.

Wow! What an arrogant, chauvinistic prick!

Eww!!! What an odd thing to say. He overstepped the mark with her and you! What a vile creepy man. Wonder what else he gets up to when you’re not around 🤔

I think he made the comment flippantly and thoughtlessly.
He didn't think for a moment that you're there beside him.
I don't think he was flirting, like others have said he was a bit sleazy and I'm wondering if he's having a midlife crisis.

Seriously though, his response to you is the issue here I think.

You need to either let if go because you won't win this arguement and/or evaluate your relationship 🤷🏼‍♀️

She was probably thinking "put your tongue back in grandpa". Is he always such a greasy old git?

I'm in my early 30's so I don't think you'd class me as middle aged yet? I also worked in retail for a long time. What your DH did isn't really flirting, it is icky though. You got used to it, but it wasn't ever flattering or anything, it was gross and par for the course from a certain 'age group' of men.
My own Dad does it and it gives me major cringe and I hate it, but I can't make him stop, but he is almost 20 years older than your DH.

Absolute bullshit. Stop making excuses for his sleaziness.

I can't even imagine my husband's dad speaking to a woman like this and he's in his 70s so that different era crap, won't wash.

You're married to a sleazy creep.

She definitely thought he was a weirdo, who does that? Especially infront of their spouse. Just make sure to comment on any wealthy men’s cars you see in future. “Oh look at that Bentley, I wonder which one of these men own that?!” .. anyone can get in good shape, being rich is something most men can’t achieve 😂 #petty

Showing his age more than anything else.

He's not of that generation where it's an excuse though. He would have been young in the 90s, the Gen X grunge generation, the original ravers etc. That would have been more his parents' generation.

I’m surprised at any of the posters on here who think this is ok.
The shop assistant is sitting duck and probably has to be polite at all times unless she has a very progressive employer who would support her challenging this kind of behaviour.
in no circumstances whatsoever is it ok to make uninvited observations about someone’s appearance, particularly a stranger, especially their body which is essentially what he did, and another layer is added when she is in a position of serving and he has the power of being the customer, he’s abused that position and Been disrespectful to you and her.

@Bex39 you’re not wrong by being unsettled by this.
im no longer young but i used to regularly get comments like this from married / coupled men, in front of wives / partners or behind their backs and even in my latter years I’ve still experienced it although not half as much 🤣
I always feel sympathy for the wife and when I have been with men who’ve done similar things to other women I’ve felt embarrassed , hurt, disrespected and disappointed .

What?

I'm embarrassed for him.

Are you lacking something productive to do so you've come onto MN to ask about this first world issue?

Wow, he's a real piece of work. A wee divorce on the cards for Christmas?

I hate this kind of leery behaviour. He shouldn't be commenting on her body in any context. I've done bar/club work my whole adult life. Some men think you're a captive audience and are very inappropriate. I've had men openly flirt with me in front of their wives/girlfriends while I've stood there with a polite smile on my face. One woman accused me of encouraging him while he was in the Gents. I told her sternly that I'm not the one. I have no interest in her fella (who was built like Gru) and if he's comfortable cracking on to other women in her presence I'd be questioning how he's behaving with them while she's not around. She was so offended it was almost as if she forgot that she warned me off him a minute earlier 😆