To not understand people who talk about being the first in their family to go to uni like it’s a badge of honour?

[Kyrgyzstan]

Sorry if this sounds dismissive of their achievements but isn’t it less of a rags to riches tale of personal achievement and more of a generational difference? I mean barely any of our parents generation went to university and now it’s pretty much expected if you want a half way decent job.

Obviously if you were raised by heroin addicts and managed to still get good grades and go off to uni that’s different but the children of ordinary parents who just didn’t go to university talking about it like a huge achievement sounds a little strange to me?

Yes you have been extremely passive aggressive and seem quite spiteful but you didn’t out and out say I was a waste of space for having a mediocre job and no degree but you were hoping I’d say I had no job at all because then it really would of been open day with the insults wouldn’t it?

Jesus Christ though “you have achieved nothing “ is a little extreme I’m married to a lovely man with children and a nice home and have the qualifications that can get me into uni whenever I want. I count my blessings every day.

Perhaps you should have a think about the social conditions in which that occurred - it was previously very common for working class people to work in factories often for many many years, however deindustrialisation which occurred predominately in the 80s under Thatchers government pretty much saw the end of that era. Factory work wasn’t simply a job for many, and this decline is also strongly linked to social issues within those communities, not to mention how they caused wider economic changes. So yes, with this in mind that is why more working class people look to higher education, because traditional working class ‘life’ as it were simply no longer exists the way it did 50 plus years ago.

Not nice when someone dismisses things you consider achievements, is it?

EXACTLY FOR FUCK SAKE

OP are you even reading your replies?! Absolutely mental

I'm not the first in my family to go to university, I am the first generation of my family to go to university. For me it was relatively easy to go to university - my family absolutely supported it as far as they could - although they lacked the knowledge to help me with the decision or application process at all. For me the pride of being the first generation to go to university in my family is my pride in my parents - they worked very hard and sacrificed to give my siblings and me the opportunities that they deserved but that were denied to them due to the poverty they grew up in.

And as much as it's true that far greater proportions of young people went to university in my generation (I left university 20 years ago) than in my parents generation, as someone who went to a Russell group university - and went on to do a Masters at one of (if not the) best universities in the world for my subject, it was noticeable to me that amongst my classmates and hallmates I was the only one who didn't have at least one parent who went to university.

Im not bothered by what she said just bemused by the vitriol more than anything I suppose she assumes I have a shit life because I said I had a baby at 16 but she’s wrong.
I also haven’t dismissed anyone’s achievements I just pointed out it’s not unusual to be the first in your family when barely anyone went in the previous generations

You sound bothered.

If you’re talking about people in their 50s and 60s now, they didn’t go to university in 1960.

I am the first of my family to go to university and I’m proud of that and think it is a huge achievement.
It's all about context.
I come from a large working class family and am the only one of my generation to go to university.
We all left school at 16 and followed our parents into working class jobs or undertook a training in a trade.
I took GCSE evening classes as a mature student then A levels to enable me to get a BSc and qualify as a HCP.
It was tough going and my family probably thought I was nuts or amazing (or somewhere between the two!).
I really think it’s much easier if going to uni is the norm in your family; it’s accessible and achievable, rather than an oddity!
It’s really rewarding to be able to say “look you can do this if you want to, I managed it and juggled a job and a family to get the necessary qualifications and then a three year degree course”. I’ve actually inspired others to do the same! I am proud of my achievement.

And so you should be my darling

I’m really not but I guess you’ll have to take my word for it.

I'm in my early 60s and went to a comprehensive school in a northern town and I would say about half the pupils in my form (A stream) went on to further education and of the whole year group, maybe 30-35%. Most pupils were from solidly working class homes, very few had parents with professional jobs, but most wanted their children to go on to better things. Our parents were mostly children and young adults in WW2 and knew the sky was now the limit for their children. I have solicitors, barristers, doctors, teachers amongst my old schoolfriends. It was a matter of pride to their parents that they were able to allow their children to go to university and it's not surprising that they wanted to tell the world. There were a few whose parents were of the opinion that if you're working class that's where you should stay and if you take a job in an office you're betraying your class. I never understood that point of view, but I have a friend whose dad stopped speaking to him when he got a job working for the civil service.

@Kyrgyzstan

I wonder if perhaps you’re just not articulating yourself very well and that’s why you’re still wedded to your opinion in spite of probably hundreds of people who are presenting well informed challenges to that.

Are you trying to say that we will see more people being the first person in the family to attend university as numbers of students increase? Because that’s quite different from it’s not something people should be proud of.

But you haven't done it, so what do you know? Yes yes, you'll do it 'one day' potentially. Probably. Possibly. Maybe. And one day I'll become an astronaut. Potentially.

'Going to uni' is certainly a much bigger achievement than having kids at 16 in my book.

But it is a big deal though. If you’re a working class kid who went to a shit state school, grew up on FSM, parents in extremely low paid jobs, lots of financial insecurity and definitely no remote whiff of academia (parents perhaps didn’t even finish school) then how is it not an achievement?

I grew up like that. Council house, mum was a dinner lady, stepdad abusive, we had no money at all ever, concrete flooring, broken furniture etc. I have a PhD. My brother doesn’t even have GCSEs. So yeah, it’s a big deal.

I did both. Had a child at 17, went on to get first class honours, distinction at masters and PhD. You can do both. The world isn’t over if you mess up as a teen, or if you were born into poverty. That’s why going to uni is a big deal for kids like me. My son is also set to get straight 9s in his GCSEs. You’re not a failure if you mess up in your teens.

Agree with all this. It's having to navigate and figure this out on your own with little to no support or guidance at age 16/17 and making big decisions that may impact the rest of your life without a sounding board, useful advice

I’m not passive aggressive, and I’ve expressed myself very clearly. Again, the issue is your reading comprehension. I apologise for being more articulate than you are equipped to deal with.

but you were hoping I’d say I had no job at all because then it really would of been open day with the insults wouldn’t it?

Nope, your actual lack of academic or professional achievements is entirely sufficient for said open day.

I’m married to a lovely man with children and a nice home and have the qualifications that can get me into uni whenever I want.

Again, your marriage and kids are neither academic nor professional achievements and your much vaunted qualifications are limited and considerably less impressive than the degrees you claim aren’t that special.

See Op how can you read posts like this and think “no big deal, don’t know why she’s so worked up about it” rather than WHAT A QUEEN GIVE THIS WOMAN HER FLOWERS ?!!? I am boggled

@Bambamhoohoo
You get it - thank you so much!

My reading comprehension is evidently a lot better than yours (and if you’re talking about that age 60 vs the 1960s business a few pages back well I was in the middle of something and was skim reading) I’ve said about a thousand times that a degree is an achievement my point is that it’s not unusual to be the first in your family when most of the previous generation didn’t go to uni.

Going to university at exactly age 18 doesn’t make you superior to someone who goes at say age 26 because they had their family earlier. Your obsession with ad hominem attacks rather than addressing my points shows a lot 🤔

I was the first in my family to go to university at a time when only 5-10% went. My dad was as proud as punch. It was a massive achievement as far as he was concerned. If he could have seen his grandson get an exceptional first and start a masters he’d have burst with pride.

My dad (born 1940’s) was the first in his family to go to uni. He grew up in a council house with no money. I’m extremely proud of him 💛

It covers such a broad range. Women going to university was rare until quite recently. On my Mum’s side I’m the first, not because they weren’t successful but because university wasn’t needed in their line of work. My maternal grandfather was pulled out of school at 14 to join the family business. By contrast, my paternal grandfather was a university professor. I think the business was far more profitable though, which shows money and educations qualifications don’t always go hand in hand.

You have literally experienced the barriers that stop people from certain backgrounds going to uni. You had a certain upbringing, your parents didn't go to uni, you had a child which stopped you going...your life is the other path that people could have taken rather than go to uni. The fact that someone did not walk down this path and got a degree is something they are proud of.
Are you so annoyed because you took the path they have all avoided?