To think it's weird not to know which school year your DC is in?

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

I bumped into someone I hadn't seen for couple of years yesterday. Normal catch up chit chat. I asked how her DS was (she only has one DC) and asked whether he was now in Y8 or Y9 at school. She has to think about it then asked"he turns 14 in January, does that make him Y8 or Y9?". I had to tell her Y9.

My DC left school years ago but I always knew which year they were in at any given point. I was really surprised she didn't seem to know. Is she unusual or aren't people really aware? She's a lovely, bright woman so no issues with memory etc.

Totally agree, and its interesting that any dad who doesnt know what year there kid is in gets instant eye rolls from everyone (rightly so), but from reading this thread it seems fairly common which i am amazed by.

Thats right. You have to translate it.

When I was at school it was the old system.

I had my children in 99 and 2000 so by the time they were in school it was the new number system. And yes, my default stayed the system I had at school. The new one never came naturally.

Its not a big deal really. Its not like it affects their education in any way.

I just don't get the "you are the worst mother in the world if you can't remember what year your kids is in, one mistake and you will scar them for life" - my kids couldn't care less if I know what year they are in or not, or indeed the name of their class, or their form teacher (which I have no idea and have to look up every time). They want me to know - what role they have in the school play; what subjects they like and don't like; what exams they are working for; do they have a cross country event on Saturday they need to get to; have we paid for their music trip.

Feel heart sorry for mums that get such an overreaction to not remembering or not knowing one single thing. Even if she didn't know, so what? She was clearly able to logically work it out. She knew how old he was and when his birthday is. Jesus wept.

as long as you remember their names - anything else is a bonus haha

This is normal. I used to find it hilarious when my dear old dad would forget how old each of us were and would get our birthdays mixed up. But we knew we were loved beyond measure.
My children are all growing up so fast. It seems the older you get, the faster they grow!
When someone askse.abouyntheir year group, it always takese a moment to think about it. When I am asked their dates of birth, again it takes me a moment to gather that information in my mind.
This does not mean we are lacking love towards our children. Nor does it mean by any means that we have lost touch with the details of their lives. We have so much information stored in our brains, sometimes it just takes a moment to go through the filing system, that's all.

So those of us who accidentally call our kids the cat's name are screwed then? 😁

I don't know?! I always know my kids years but the other day I had to ask how old my youngest was 🙈 as I couldn't think! Although to be fair I have a lot if stuff to do for my elderly father. Think if you have a lot on your plate, your memory gets a bit scrambled!

Probably just a memory moment? I forgot the reg number for my car the other day. I’ve had it for years and I definitely know it.

Oh dear, I am like this, and I can assure you it's not because I'm trying to be interesting

I have three children and never really understood the current year system.

I went to a private girls' school and we had lower fourth, upper fourth etc so it's all very confusing to me.

My last child is in school he's just about to turn 14, so I think perhap he's in year 9 or 10? 🤔

You've not seen her in two years. You have no clue what's happening in her life, what's happening medically for her etc.

Whenever I'm acutely stressed (bereavement, redundancy, health problems etc) my memory is the first thing to go. And I don't think I've ever confided in some random acquaintance I've not seen in years about any of these kind of life events.

So, so glad that I don't associate myself with the kind of people who spend time judging others like you and some of the people who've responded. One person actually speculated that she may be a junkie or an alcoholic 🤣🙄 Get a fucking grip of yourselves. Honestly.

I think this can be quite normal depending on how the school name classes. DC2 is in primary and they are all animals. She's in the larger cohort with single year classes. But the lower year classes are now mixed years. It's totally reasonable to not remember the year the child is in because the year no longer matches to their classes.

I always have to pause to think what year DD is in.

I have to pause and think of my own age too & I've been like that for many years.

Its really not uncommon or a big deal. My brain is full of so much stuff - I can't access everything on perfect quick recall.

I also have to think which year my DC1 is in. She's in the first GCSE year and to me that's 4th form. But it's called Year 10 here.

I genuinely forgot my age in conversation last week. I had to think if I was 38 or 39. I felt a right prat. Sometimes your brain just malfunctions.

I agree with this and feel similarly. What a horrible OP.

Added to the social anxiety/being asked something when my mind is on other things/perimenoause brain fog/exhaustion because secondary school age is much tougher and means less sleep with earlier starts/etc. myriad of reasons someone might hesitate and check...

The school year numbers are very different to what I had or even what state schools had when I was at school, so yes, I do find I have to do a quick calculation or remember. I know DC is in the Xth year of secondary, but wouldn't necessarily remember what number they're currently calling that, because it's utterly irrelevant, boring and useless information and my mind is full of more important things at the moment, including, when it comes to school issues, national curriculum proposed changes, potential effects of school merging with an umbrella academy, why on earth in state secondary schools they seem incapable of reading a Shakespeare play in its entirety before GCSEs, etc. etc....

Not weird at all.Primary school is 7 year - right? so first year of secondary (ie YEAR 1 of secondary) is year 8. Depends on how you think of it - if you think "1st year of secondary", or "year 8 of school".

This. I work in 'old money' with school years as well (love that). Plus we home educated 2 x old DC for the GCSE years, plus time spent abroad.

I hardly ever remember school years without stopping to think about it as a result.

I think it's weirder that 'lovely, bright' adults don't realise that people are different, not less.

To be honest I have to think for a second to figure out my own age sometimes, so it's no reflection of a lack of interest in my children's education if I have to do the same thing for their school years!

Close. Top year of primary is Y6, first year secondary is Y7.

I used to struggle with this myself, as my own school used old fashioned Upper Third, Lower Fourth etc. nomenclature (which at least had the benefit of making the two-year long L6/U6 "sixth form" less of an oddity).

Yes, it's very interesting all the prejudice on this thread against people whose minds don't instantly have complete recall of all social nicities.

Just shows when people say oh don't worry, people aren't judging you they really are a lot of the time.

I try never to judge people, and it makes life a lot more pleasant. You never know what's going on in someone's life.

I could pose and count, esp in the begining of the school year. And i am a very involved parent with no memory issues.

I call my daughter by my sister's name (and vice versa) quite frequently 😆

I often can't remember if my youngest is reception or Y1, I had to check with the school mum friend who I walk with (hers is in the same class)

In my defence we have combined year classes so R/Y1 are all together

Does the child definitely go to a school that uses “normal” year names? I know some SEN and Montessori schools put different ages in the same class. When I was a kid we used a weird way of naming the years so when people asked me what year I was in I had no idea what other schools called it, I doubt my parents did either