To think it's weird not to know which school year your DC is in?

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

I bumped into someone I hadn't seen for couple of years yesterday. Normal catch up chit chat. I asked how her DS was (she only has one DC) and asked whether he was now in Y8 or Y9 at school. She has to think about it then asked"he turns 14 in January, does that make him Y8 or Y9?". I had to tell her Y9.

My DC left school years ago but I always knew which year they were in at any given point. I was really surprised she didn't seem to know. Is she unusual or aren't people really aware? She's a lovely, bright woman so no issues with memory etc.

How school years were labelled was different when I was a kid. So yes, occasionally I have to pause to recollect what year my DD is in. Doesn’t happen often, but if you caught me at a moment where my head was elsewhere, it might happen. I think you should give her a break. You have no idea what she was thinking about when you bumped into her. Maybe a complex work issue, or trying to plan something out in her head, or an argument with her partner. I don’t see the need for you to be quite so judgmental at catching someone off guard.

Weirdly I do know my NI number by heart but would struggle to tell you which day is PE/forrest school etc!

I mean do they have multiple children and just get mixed up on the spot? I have two kids whose DOBs are reversed eg. 3.10.20 10.3.22 (not they’re actual DOBs but you get the idea) and every single time I have to fill out a form I need to think carefully to fill it out accurately, my DH is the same. Of course I know when they were born but it doesn’t roll off the tongue because they are so similar!

I always struggled with which year my children were in having moved from down from Scotland where it’s Primary 1,2 etc (primary 1 is equivalent of Reception). Secondary school is also 1st yr, 2nd etc.

Sometimes when I am put on the spot I forget the most basic things.

Maybe just a bit of brain freeze?

Was in A&E with DS with clearly broken arm and I was very calm but filling out the forms I could not remember his birthday so he stopped crying to tell me 😂

I am Scottish too and am familiar with the P1-P7 and then S1-S6 system. It frustrates me when you read threads on here where someone talks about a child being year 4 or year 9 and I just have no idea how old that is. I have two nieces who have gone through the English system and I'm still none the wiser.

P1 is not equivalent of reception though. Yes it's the first year at school but children are on average 6 months older.

I dont know what school year one of my kids is in. Well I mean I have a pretty shrewd idea though. Their school doesnt do school years. Its a specialist school and for the kids that go there school years are pointless. While my child might be secondary age when they are still doing maths for infant school age kids school years dont really apply. Classes are banded roughly by age and ability.

I also never went to a school that used school years either. My infant school had their own system, my junior school had another system, my prep school had their own system and my senior school had its own system. My secondary school went 5th year, 6th year, 3rd form, 4th form, 5th form and then 6th form.

I have just had the implant fitted to manage my crazy hormones which apparently are not peri but tried several things with the GP now. If you asked me my childrens ages some days in the last year I would have struggled to tell you. Its not because I am not an attentive or a loving parent. Its just a brain fog that I am desperately trying to sort out.

I have difficulty remembering which year my niece is in not because I struggle with numbers (suspected undiagnosed dyscalculia) but when I was in school we had a separate Infants and Junior school. Infants was named after the teacher eg Mrs Williams' class, Juniors J1-J4 and teachers surname initial eg J1S, J4R. Then secondary school year 1-5, Lower 6th and Upper 6th. All I can say is thank goodness for fingers. Quick count, my niece is year 11.

Perhaps she has a lot on her mind atm. I am stressed from caring for my mum who has dementia, I also have adhd and I am in perimenopause. If you were to ask me something like that on the spot I would probably act a little forgetful right now and would remember the moment you walked away from me.

My DC attend a school where the classes aren't grouped by the academic year.

So 1 class of primary students from Yr3 to Yr6.

Secondary Yr7 to 9 AND Yr10 to 12.
6th form Yr12 to Yr14.

So yes, sometimes Iwoukld lose track of their year group as it wasn't relevant to us.

Weird indeed. And I say that as a foreigner coming from a country where we don't count the same way. But surely this is basic information you must know as a parent. You would have signed documents, been in contact with school, helping out with homework etc

I know in ‘old money’ I need to work it out if someone expects a year 9 type answer.

This is me. I have to pause to convert lower 6th into year 12. I do know though!

The years were labelled completely differently when I was a kid, and frankly I couldn't be arsed to learn the new way, so apart from year 7, I never knew what year son was in.

i don’t think it’s weird at all. I’m pretty invested in my sons education but the way they number the years has changed since I was there

I knew when they were in primary. I know that DD3 is in her gcse year now but for some reason I can never remember whether that is year 10 or year 11. Of course I know if I think about it but I do have to have a think. It doesn’t mean I am inattentive or uninterested, just that for some reason I can’t retain a number 🤷‍♀️ same as I have to have a think about whether something is left or right

Is her child actually in her care?

This is exactly the sort of thing my mum would do (I appreciate she isn’t the parent) and she hasn’t seen my dc since before they were school age, eldest in secondary now. My dad would have struggled when I was a child, but I only saw him like 4 times a year.

Some things just don't register. I can never remember which way round numberplate are. As in is it yellow at the front and white at the back or vice versa? I see hundreds a day probably but it just doesn't stick.

Doesn't mean I'm not entirely observant of the road, hazards, lane markings etc in the moment. Same with this. Even if I could tell you instantly DS is in year 5 I know he's in the penultimate year of primary and what that entails.

DS occassionally forgets something, if I drop it to school I need to put his form on it so it will get to him (comprised of year, then a letter)

Maybe our minds work differently because, for me, it just felt like starting with a blank page with my kids and learning a new set of info (school year, teacher, form tutors, gcse subjects, numbers for grades etc) I would really struggle to tell you any of my own form tutors as that was 30 years ago! Tbf I might struggle if I had eg 5 kids

But if I tell DH, that DD got an 8, or DS got a 7, his answer is always "out of 10?"

When I was on the PTA at my DCs Primary we used to sell raffle tickets and would put the childs initial and class on the back of the tickets that were being drawn, we regularly had this conversation with Dads or Grandads, never Mums or Grandmas though
"which class is x in?"
"Ok, who is their teacher then?"
"school year?"
They usually knew that last one (but not always)

That is very odd, surely they have been in the schools system long enough to know?

I literally have no idea re 'Year X' etc. When I went to school, I started in Kindergarten and up to Form 4, aged 9, then moved to another school where I was in Form 3 - 5, and lastly my secondary school from 11 was Form 1, Form 2, etc. up to Lower and Upper VI.

See I’m still confused 😂. My sons were P3&P4 when we moved down,. All through their schooling I still used the Scottish system. Could never get my head round year2 etc. My sons were convinced they were moved down a year!

I always knew what year both my kids were in so to me I’d interpret that as her not being very involved in his school life. My mum probably wouldn’t have known mine either but that was in the days when school and family life were very separate (70s).