But would you invite your MIL on your hen do?

[Rosienose]

Just that really I didn’t realise it was a thing.

you are being unreasonable - Yes you should

you are NOT being unreasonable - Perfectlg acceptable not to invite them

Depends what the "do" is.

Party/night out = yes
Activity/meal with a handful of people = no

I did. I also went on DDils. It think whether you do or not depends more on its the sort of do your MiL would enjoy rather than etiquette.

I think it’s down to the bride.

I wouldn’t and did not. I don’t know anyone who has.

Maybe if you have the type of relationship where you feel you can let your hair down in front of your mil but I certainly am not relaxed when in her company.

Tho I assume this is about Holly. Considering the Mil was babysitting for her son’s child I fail to see how she would have gone. Also notice lack of did dad get invited to his own son’s stag.

I get the feeling huge backstory since she is now uninvited to the wedding. Not many people uninvited their mums. The story of the nasty dil stealing her baby already in motion.

I’m not voting because I’m an “it depends”

I think if you are inviting your own mum/aunties etc then yes it would be kind to invite MIL.

I think it’s fine to not want MIL coming to your wild hen do party and to keep it as just mates if that’s what what you want to do

I had a separate afternoon tea hen do for my DM, MIL, other family members and then I had my “wild” evening out with friends.

Absolutely not

I love her, so yes I did.

I did. She didn’t come but I did invite her.

@Rosienose , I was not invited to the hen do’s of either of my DILs but neither were their mothers; my husband also didn’t go to our son’s stags neither did our sons FILs. Basically whatever applies to your mum should apply to your future MIL (unless she is a cow).
Is your mum going on the hen do?

Nope. I don't think my MIL would appreciate penis pasta, inflatable cocks or sex position bingo.

I would assume a hen night is for friends only. I wouldn't expect to go to my own daughters hen night. Why would they want oldies there.

I didn’t invite mine, or any family members outside of my group of friends. I didn’t want to. It’s not a party for family, it’s a night out for the hen.

Most of the hen parties I've been to have included the MIL. I can only think of 2 that didn't, and the brides mum also wasn't invited.

The others have had both mums there.

Yes I think it would be mean to invite your mum and not your MIL unless she hates you or something !

Mine came to the daytime activities. We get on really well and I was inviting my mum, aunties, etc so wouldn't have excluded her.
My SIL did the same for my Mum.

I did, but I get on like a house on fire with my MIL.

Of course I invited my MIL! I invited my own mum too although she chose not to attend as a bottomless brunch followed by an evening of partying wasn’t her vibe 😂

Nope ! She’s dull, miserable and boring. She would have hated it.

I took her and her out for lunch the week after instead. Shouldn’t have bothered, she moaned all the way through that too !

My idea of hen do would be a night out with friends so I wouldn’t invite my own mum. Also I didn’t know my MIL well before wedding so it’s another no then.
I know some people’s hen dos are more like a meal and an activity and they are getting married after being 10 years together so in this case inviting in laws make sense (if they have a good relationship) .

Erm, nor would I. Gross.

What is it with some people using a hen night as an excuse to be vulgar? I've never been to one like that and if I did I would leave immediately.

Nope. Couldn’t think of anything worse. I also didn’t invite my mum. Both for very different reasons. Mil would have hated every second of it but would feel she had to come and would have sat not knowing what to do. My mum would have got drunk, tried to get MIL drunk and would make it all about her. I invited my sister but she didn’t come because she got admitted to hospital with a suspected stroke (it wasn’t a stroke- it was a very dramatic way of getting out of it).

My answers are probably not helpful as I’m from a very dysfunctional family.

My first hen do when I was 19 - nope! Not a chance in hell I would have invited my MIL.

My second hen do, 21 years later, far more sedated affair, yes I did invite this one.

Didn't have my Mum or DMil. It was for my friends.
They both came to the wedding of course.

I love mine. I didn’t invite her though, nor my own mother and I love her too.

A few I’ve been to recently the hens had a bit more of a raucous let your hair down type day and night, tamer during the day when mums/MILs/aunties came and then they left and the party convinced. My best friend asked me to organise her hen do but not include her mum/mil and then she organised a lovely afternoon tea followed by trying on of the dress with her mum and mil. Her mil actually helped make the dress with the lace she had picked out with her mum so it all tied in nicely together.
Suppose it’s not a one size fits all, even if you have a great relationship with your mil you might not want to celebrate your hen do with her. Do what feels right.

I swerved the whole hen do thing. They have become an out of control juggernaut. On my last day at work before the wedding went out impromptu with my best friend there, my sister and my fiancé. We had a very pleasant evening and I have never regretted it.