But would you invite your MIL on your hen do?

[Rosienose]

Just that really I didn’t realise it was a thing.

you are being unreasonable - Yes you should

you are NOT being unreasonable - Perfectlg acceptable not to invite them

If this is about Holly Ramsay then yes in her situation I would have and in my situation I also would.

I was invited by both my daughters-in-law, and turned them both down as neither event were my cup of tea. They assure me they didn’t feel obliged to ask me, and they don’t have a problem with me declining. Of course, they would say that anyway…

Edited because my phone thinks bith is a real English word.

Fully depends on the do, your relationship and personalities.

most people I know have invited in-laws on stag and hen dos.

If you don’t want mil there arrange a second more suitable do/event to include her. My mil had no desire to go on mine, absolutely not her thing, but the spa, massages and afternoon tea I had a few days later was perfect.

I wasn't invited to DD's - not remotely offended - it was small only the bridesmaids and her

My MIL insisted she came on my hen do and threw her toys out of the pram when I wanted to do just friends. Had to completely change what I wanted to do and do a spa day instead, I’m still annoyed about it years later

I had two hen dos. A friends one with a meal and night out - MIL and DM were not invited as it was only friends and my sister. A family one with afternoon tea and a theatre trip - DM and MIL both invited along with my sister, SILs, my DD and two family friends.

Sounds like my mother, she thinks she’s “cool” but she’s just cringe especially when drinking, my poor SILs. One arranged a separate one without my mother knowing, just her and her friends, it was the 90s so no social media so she got away with it. Second SIL not so lucky. I actually arranged my own hen the day before my mother flew in for my wedding, it was such a shame she couldn’t make it 😜

I’m not engaged yet but I have fear over this… I’d be expected not only to invite my MIL but her sisters as well. There’s four of them and they are so loud and crass and it would be horrific. They’d be the ones bringing the willy straws and sex position games, whilst my friends and I would be trying to have a nice time. I feel like when it comes to it, I’d avoid a hen do just to avoid this issue. I’d rather do a couple of separate spa days with different groups of friends or something!

Truthfully, I'd have preferred to not invite her to the wedding if I could have! 😂

Is that you Holly Ramsay?

Mine came to mine and my SILs and participated in all the activities and even clubbing with us. But we both adore her and wouldn't felt her right not being there.

I guess it depends on age and what the exact event is.

My mil is nearly 80 so a piss up round the local city would not be a good plan, nice meal out and a few drinks she would have been ok with.

When inhad mine last year we hired a massive airbnb at the coast, the ladies planned a very chilled weekend of mooching round shops, meal out, lovely takeaway, few silly games and generally everyone just getting to know each other as was primarily just the bridal party. I have known all of them years (bar sil and mil) but from different circles so no one knew each other and I was the only link. We had the best time.

Mil didn't come as fil was ill but she was invited, as was my mum. My dd was 10 and attended as did my friends dd who was 12 as she is a single mum and her childcare fell through last minute.

This. Particularly if my dad was invited to my finance’s stag.

Again, it depends on absolutely nothing.

If you don't want her there, don't invite her. It is not an expectation of any kind that future mils go to hen do's. To suggest otherwise is nonsense and untrue.

I don’t think I’ve been to one where mum and MIL weren’t present. All the ones I’ve been to have been a dinner and drinks or making a cocktail classes or things like that.

Even less sedate things though - I suppose I assume that if you find penis pasta hilarious you come from the kind of family that is amused by this so no reason not to invite older family members.

Nope! Mainly because my MIL wouldn't enjoy it (a weekend away with 15 women in their 30s and she doesn't really like people) and also my own Mum passed away so just wouldn't feel right. Instead, going for a spa day with my future MIL and SIL.

Yeah I did, but it was just a nice meal out. Probably wouldn’t have invited her to a big night out!

I did , we did a brunch thing then an activity then a few drinks, MIL ducked out after that as did my mum and a couple of others and then the rest of us went out out

I went to the races with the girls for my hen doo. Then had a meal with mum,mil,sil and the 'oldies' from work a week later

And I've never attended a hen party, or heard of one where the future mil or mother were present. It's very rare. It's not a thing. And it is entirely and only up to you.

There's no "depending" on anything. It's just up to you, that's all.

I wouldn’t and didn’t. I got married when I was 35 so MIL was well into her 60’s. So no I just wanted to have a laugh and have some fun with my friends and we went clubbing don’t think it would have been MIL’s thing. I didn’t invite my own mother or any other family apart from my sister who didn’t want to come so why would I invite MIL. Totally up to the bride.

Absolutely no way. She’s lovely but no I won’t be inviting her.

I didn’t have a hen do but if I’d have invited my mum I would’ve invited my MIL.

I’m not bothered about going to my DDIL’s hen-do should she ever have one. They really aren’t my thing. I’d sooner she went out with her friends, who are her own age, and had some fun.

I had my MIL, SIL and DHs Aunt at mine. It was fun and they all joined it, no issues at all.

but you’re certainly not obligated to.

If I was inviting my mother, I would invite my MIL.