Parking wars

[Whoosher]

Another parking thread I’m afraid. Am I within my rights to ask someone not to park outside my door all day..?
backstory:

We live in a semi detached townhouse with a drive and on street parking, our drive is really thin with a metal gate down the neighbours side, my car doesn’t fit on it - I can’t open the doors both sides, and have 5 children including a baby in a car seat who I can’t get in or out if I park on the drive. So DH parks on the drive and I park on the street directly outside of my house. Attached neighbour parks on the street directly outside of their house. The drives are to the sides of the house so where we park is literally outside of our doors.

My DC go to a school that I have to drive to, but there is a school at the end of the joining road to ours, so at school drop off and pick up time lots of cars come and park on our road and the surrounding roads. I leave for school just as these parents are arriving, so once I’m gone someone parks outside of my house but this causes no issues as they’re always gone by the time I get home.

However, for the past couple of weeks I’ve noticed a car parking on our road and staying there all day - I think they work at the school. The last few weekdays she’s arrived just as I’m getting in the car, she waits for me to go then parks outside my house and stays there all day. I know I don’t own the road and it’s not legally my space, but it’s a big inconvenience as I then have to park down the road, which is annoying when I’ve got a baby in a car seat. When I get shopping etc, I have to either leave the baby in the car down the road or in the house while I go up and down the road bringing the shopping in. I’m always lugging things in and out the car - car seats for older kids etc and it’s annoying especially when it’s raining.

There are plenty of on street spaces that aren’t directly outside of someone’s front door, and she can clearly see that I’ve got a baby.. AIBU to ask her to park somewhere else if she’s going to be there all day?

I don't actually get the relevance of the drive. If you have a drive that one of your cars doesn't fit on, it's the equivalent of simply not having a drive in the first place - albeit you're luckier than many in that you do separately have a drive for your other, smaller car.

The fact that you have a too-small drive doesn't somehow earn you any right to preference for a public space on the road on front of it - any more than it would for somebody who had no drive whatsoever in the first place.

Why can't you get your shopping delivered instead? then you don't need to take your baby on a food shop.

You can ask but they are completely within their rights to decline.

I honestly do see your point of view but it sounds like you're expecting a stranger to see you load all of your kids into your car at 8 ish and they also are meant to notice you are in casual attire rather than work clothes?? this other woman is looking for a parking space, she's not Sherlock Holmes 🤭

Sadly it’s just tough.

Only thing can do to stop unwanted parking imo is ask the council to put a short time limit where only permit holders can park, say 10-2pm. It stops the 'all dayer's' from parking where space is limited.

Speak to the school, they are usually pretty hot on maintaining good relationships within the community 🙂

Not you dont have the right but you can always explain the situation to them and ask them not to park there. They probably dont realise.

You can ask and if she a decent person she may comply … but I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Ridiculous response.

why? I'm suggesting ways OP can make her hectic life a bit easier 🤷‍♀️

I'd find this very annoying to be honest. I know you dont own the street but still, it's really odd that she does this when other spaces are available. I'd ask her to park elsewhere or leave a note on her car.

Can you but cones up to keep the space?

There’s no harm in asking.

She may be thinking that

As other people have said, you need to break the habit so she doesn't automatically think of the spot as 'her daily spot'.

That's either getting DH to do the school run for a couple of days in his car with you leaving yours outside your house. Or get a neighbour or friend to park there for a couple of days.

Or, of course, you can ask her. She might say no of course so then you'd have to do the above.

Posted too soon!

She may be unaware that she’s inconveniencing you - she might be thinking that you’re off out to work and dropping kids off at school / nursery on the way, or that you can park on the drive (you’ve explained here why you can’t, but it may not be obvious to her).

So there’s no harm in asking, especially if there’s other on street parking spaces available.

Although if she refuses, it’d be unreasonable to keep on at her about it.

If I was the driver, and you approached me with a friendly smile and, in two sentences, explained that it would really make your life easier if I parked somewhere else, I’d apologize and never parked there again. Why not do someone a favour that would cost me nothing? 🤷‍♀️ I’m a coward to ask face to face, so I’d probably leave a very polite note with a smiley face and wishes of a great day behind her wiper. 😁

Does your driveway have a dropped curb? Must do, if your DH parks on it. Why don't you park your car over the dropped curb?

Provided their car is tax and insured there is nothing you can do!

I didn't think that you were supposed to block a dropped kerb even if it is to your drive?

The only thing you can do is explain to her that she is making your life more difficult as you are just doing school run and then coming home and need to get the baby out of the car. She can either chose to not park there to help you out or not. Why can she not park at the school if she works there? She also may not realise that you leave and come straight back as you could be taking the children to school/nursery and then going to work yourself and not returning until after 4pm, when presumably she has left.

Yes, yes, you don’t own the street yada yada but that would piss me right off.

If I were you I would get over my aversion to confrontation and ask her to park somewhere else as you have a small baby and she is massively inconveniencing you. If she refuses, I would write a letter to the school and tell them one of their employees is deliberately making your life very difficult. Tell the school her actions are making you have to choose whether you leave your baby unattended or in the house so that you can transport car seats and heavy bags.

Just a thought- Maybe she’s tried other spots and the other residents have asked her to park elsewhere already and so that is why she’s avoiding the other ones.

I think it's worth a conversation - making it clear that you know that she is perfectly entitled to park where she wants. She's probably thought "oh good, I've found someone who goes out for the day at just the right time", and if she finishes work before most people do, she might have assumed that she was just using an empty space. Yes, she should perhaps have worked out that with a baby you might not be going to work, but maybe she just didn't think that far. She might also have assumed that you would use the drive on your return, if your husband's car was already gone - she won't have measured up to know that's not an option.

So definitely worth saying "I wonder if you could park outside a different house where possible".

Sure, you can ask her. Not sure why you’re asking other people? Perfectly legit question, but she may just ignore you or say no.

Probably should have thought about this when buying a house. Especially near a school!
One of my non negotiables was space for all the household cars on the drive so that parking would never be an issue. And no, it’s not a particularly expensive house either.

Can you not just park over your own drive while she’s there?

You’re not, but the likelihood of anyone actually doing anything about you blocking your own drive are slim to none.