Parking wars

[Whoosher]

Another parking thread I’m afraid. Am I within my rights to ask someone not to park outside my door all day..?
backstory:

We live in a semi detached townhouse with a drive and on street parking, our drive is really thin with a metal gate down the neighbours side, my car doesn’t fit on it - I can’t open the doors both sides, and have 5 children including a baby in a car seat who I can’t get in or out if I park on the drive. So DH parks on the drive and I park on the street directly outside of my house. Attached neighbour parks on the street directly outside of their house. The drives are to the sides of the house so where we park is literally outside of our doors.

My DC go to a school that I have to drive to, but there is a school at the end of the joining road to ours, so at school drop off and pick up time lots of cars come and park on our road and the surrounding roads. I leave for school just as these parents are arriving, so once I’m gone someone parks outside of my house but this causes no issues as they’re always gone by the time I get home.

However, for the past couple of weeks I’ve noticed a car parking on our road and staying there all day - I think they work at the school. The last few weekdays she’s arrived just as I’m getting in the car, she waits for me to go then parks outside my house and stays there all day. I know I don’t own the road and it’s not legally my space, but it’s a big inconvenience as I then have to park down the road, which is annoying when I’ve got a baby in a car seat. When I get shopping etc, I have to either leave the baby in the car down the road or in the house while I go up and down the road bringing the shopping in. I’m always lugging things in and out the car - car seats for older kids etc and it’s annoying especially when it’s raining.

There are plenty of on street spaces that aren’t directly outside of someone’s front door, and she can clearly see that I’ve got a baby.. AIBU to ask her to park somewhere else if she’s going to be there all day?

Maybe my way of thinking is wrong but if I saw someone lugging a baby into their car and very clearly going to do the school run and come home after (baby is very young and I’m usually in very casual clothes clearly not dressed for work etc) then I wouldn’t then park outside of their house all day, and certainly wouldn’t purposefully wait for them to leave then park there. But then again I am a people pleaser!

Which is why I’m asking on here instead of just asking her first - I hate confrontation, will have to muster up the courage to even speak to her, so wanted to get an idea of if it will be worth it and how to handle the situation

What a lovely person you are! 🤨🤨

I sympathise OP. Someone has parked their car outside our driveway, near the dropped curb and has gone on holiday. He could have parked a little further back so where it’s not the dropped curb still outside my window which whilst would be unsightly to look at atleast I’d be able to reverse off my driveway the correct way. I mean surely you factor in the cost of car parking / taxi to the airport not just park in a random street so save money.

I sympathise OP. Someone has parked their car outside our driveway, near the dropped kerb and has gone on holiday. He could have parked a little further back so where it’s not the dropped kerb still outside my window which whilst would be unsightly to look at atleast I’d be able to reverse off my driveway the correct way. I mean surely you factor in the cost of car parking / taxi to the airport not just park in a random street so save money.

The other spaces on the road are not far no, but they’re an annoying distance away when carrying a car seat and shopping etc, and round a slight bend from our house

possibly take the pushchair out and then pop the baby in the pushchair and the shopping under - then walk back to the house

alternatively get your dh to get to work another way and leave his car outside the house for 3 weeks

the thing with three weeks is, people are creatures of habit, once the car is there for three weeks, she will park elsewhere, get into the habit of parking else where and not hopefully be back.

If you can't leave your dh car there ask a neighbour to park outside your house for a while

tbh as she is parking up she will not know how long you are out for, and has no need to worry about your parking.

Do you mean she's actually sitting in her car, engine running watching you put your baby and kids in the car?
That's actually quite odd as well as annoying. To you it might be obvious you're coming home after drop off, but it might not be to her.

I think it would be totally fine to approach her car and say "you don't need to wait for this spot, there are plenty further up the road. Also, I am coming home after drop off and because of the baby it's great if I can park outside my house."

Yes, today she turned around in the turning area and then just sat there watching me get all the kids and baby in the car, then as soon as I pulled off she went into the space

She probably thinks you're off to work...

But YABU to even contemplate asking her to park elsewhere. If parking is that important to you then:

• move house
• change car to a smaller one that does fit in the drive.
• buy a tiny car that you quickly move into your space whilst you do the school run so she can't take that space.
• think of a more inventive way to wrestle the baby out!

So this is definitely her preferred habit now, she knows you'll be leaving and she knows then she can park in that spot

So break her habit for her, make sure a car is parked in the spot. Ask the next door neighbour to park in the spot outside your home for a while and then the habit will be broken

once its broken, ask the next door neighbour to move back

The idea of talking to your next door neighbour and explaining the situation and ultimately swapping places for a week or two should be enough to break the habit (assuming your next door neighbour doesn’t leave for a school run at the same time as you).

Smaller car, park over drive and remove children 1st before parking, alter/remove gate etc etc.

It seems to be a modern thing these days to buy a house with 1 or two cars parking then ignore them and still park on the road. I understand the frustration of the 'inconvenience' but that is all it is.

To be honest, I would be appealing to the council to restrict parking on your road to residents only. All the streets next to schools in my area are permit parking only (with permits only available to residents).

And are there or are there not other spaces she could easily park in?

OP has 5 children, all primary age and younger I think? She must need a pretty large car.
If they're that young it probably wouldn't be safe to unload them all roadside and then park the car.
The gate is their neighbour's.

Chnage whole front of the house into parking area with drop kerb?

you have no right to ask her to park elsewhere, however annoying it is. What you could do is park over your crive whilst you unload, and pop baby in cot or bouncy chair. You could then pull into your drive and get out - would only take 5 minutes and as long as baby was secure it wouldnt be an issue.

I do get your pain. We have lived in our house for nearly 5 years and only had on street parking. 90% of the time we could park within a few cars lengths of our house but it was sods law that the times we had a car full of shopping etc were the times there were no spaces and we had to park miles away due to the fact that half the road have drives so apart from the stretch outside our bit of the street there is not a lot of on street parking. So this summer we forked out and got a drive put in (via the back lane into our back garden as the front is on too much of a curve to get permission)

But then when OP drives away and the woman can’t get in the spot outside OPs house the next nearest spot would be her next door neighbours, so Op would still have nowhere to park cos the woman would just take that spot

There is no harm in leaving a polite message on the car, asking if she could park somewhere else. Briefly explain why, and that you understand she is entitled to park there if she choose to.

Personally, if there was plenty of other options I would park somewhere else if I could. But I guess I'm going to be told that kindness is overrated again 😂

Nope sorry. Without being rude you have a choice to have that many children which is terribly difficult to manage and have a choice where you live. No one else is responsible for that so you can’t use that as a greater reason than the other person’s needs. Roads are free for everyone to use unless there are parking restrictions so you just have to lump it. I’d honestly just look at you like you were bonkers if you told me not to park there!

Of course you can ask her, it's a reasonable request and if someone asked me I'd oblige them. Not everyone is that reasonable though so she may not.

You can buy all means ask politely, but based on the fact she is stalking you for the space I would not be confident it would improve things. It is possible she might be assuming you are out all day like she is and not realise how much this is inconveniencing you. I guess even if she takes it badly and it makes her more determined to "claim" that bit of road, what is she actually going to to do to inconvenience you more than she currently does? Arguably, short of her keying your car you don't have that much to lose by asking.

Apologies if I've missed it but is your husband around while this is happening? If so would be be able to move his car out to nab the space before she gets to it? You'd have to do some rearranging later in the day, and maybe leave a little early for a few days, but you might find that temporarily breaking the habit is enough for her to find another favourite spot.

Is it not a bit strange that she is ignoring other available spaces and instead waiting for you to vacate yours? I would find this odd.

Of course, as you acknowledge, there is no right to park outside your house. But given that you do see her I might ask her ‘I know I have no right to park outside my house but I have 5 small children including a baby and it’s a real bother to park elsewhere. I wondered if you could vary your parking spots, as it would be very helpful. Thank you’ At worst you get a ‘no’ but you’ve tried.

Maybe sometimes your DH can park in your spot and you elsewhere, back to ‘breaking the habit’ that the other poster mentioned

If DH car is there, I’d leave his car in the space, or have him move into it first and beat her to it. This is really infuriating. Are the other spaces awkward for her to get into?

Dropped kerbs aren't just installed/approved for the use of rhe householders to whose drive they lead - even if the householders had to pay to apply/for the work.

So many able-bodied people just don't pay a moment's thought to the needs of people who use wheelchairs and mobility scooters when it comes to needing to cross roads.

Put a cone out.