To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

[BreezyFish]

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

I really want to reply properly but I am dumbfounded by the word ‘cutla’. I am still processing my feelings as I genuinely don’t know how I feel about it.

None of that was mentioned in the OP.
you don't seem to like her very much
If you feel your child will miss out buy them an extra gift.
Most kids get more than enough anyway

What is 'a cutla quid'? Never heard that before. Centre Parcs is the worst place ever, even worse than Butlins.

Do you usually miss social cues so drastically?

She's telling you she wants to reduce the budget on each other's kids, now, before you have bought anything. To avoid a scenario where you have spent £25 and she's spent £2 and it leads to resentment.

The correct response is 'yeah no worries, I'll do the same for yours, price of everything is madness now isn't it' or anything along those lines.

YABU for cutla. I'm embarrassed for you.

'cutla quid'😂 reminds me of someone I know who takes the kids 'trickle treating' 😂

I'd be way more upset about 'cutla' than her budget.

I couldn’t be friends with someone who says “cutla”’😂

Errrm, if she’s giving you regular lifts for the school run, you SHOULD be contributing a bit to fuel.

Her holiday is more important than your child’s gift. That’s just a fact.

Either spend what each are happy to spend, or agree no presents this year.

Does she spend a cutla quid on sweets before taking her kids trickle treating? Are the kids' outfits kept in a Chester drawers?

Exploding glitter ? Why would you buy that ?

I presume it’s the way the friend says ‘couple of quid’ when she’s talking quickly, so it’s meant to be ‘coupla quid’ but her accent makes the ‘p’ sound like ‘t’. Either that or she’s misheard other people saying it as cutla and copied it.

I’ve known people to say ’wah la’ instead of viola, or ‘tickle tackle’ instead of tittle tattle 🤣

Cockneys lol

If I bought a gift at £25 for every friends child I’d easily spend £200 if not more and that’s before what I buy for my own child, my nieces and the rest of my family, there’s really no need to buy friends children a gift.. it’s nice to do but not necessary and tbh you do sound materialistic! And Why shouldn’t she spend her hard earned money on a holiday for herself!? Sorry but you can’t dictate how your friend spends her money.

😂😂😂😂

Thank you! I thought it was just my Cockney lazy way of saying “couple of” x

“Cutla quid” just made me think of a quid cut up and envision a scenario like this…

Would you prefer she hadn’t said anything beforehand?

Now at least she’s given you a heads up to spend a much smaller amount on her DD this Christmas.

Agree both kids get eg Cadbury’s selection box.

Re your updates don’t accept lifts etc or meet for coffee then. Maybe the friendship has run its course as all seems a bit transactional.

Are you relate to the isle of skye thread person?

Knock the gifting on the head.

job done.

Wtaf is a cutla quid

Christmas is expensive enough without spending £25 on a friends child. Sounds like she is trying to back off from doing this. We’ve never done this with friends only family and hope DC don’t come home with presents from their friends. Agree selection boxes are ok if you want to do that though all the chocolate stuff has shot up in price this year.

Just agree not to swap gifts and spend the money on your own kid?

Last year, she got DS a voucher.
For WHSmith.
For £5.

Not even for somewhere fun like Smyths or The Entertainer — no, WHSmith.

And to make it worse, she didn’t even put it in a proper card! Just shoved it in one of those generic ones and scribbled inside like she was signing off an Amazon delivery!

So when she came out with her “cutla quid” comment, it just hit a nerve. this isn’t new behaviour, it’s a pattern.

And before anyone says “but it’s the thought that counts” there was no thought. None. At least if it had been a book, a game, or something personal, I’d get it. But a WHSmith voucher??

So yeah, I don’t think I’m being petty, I think I’m just finally seeing the light.

Just dont do presents for each others dc

The thing is it’s tradition