Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

392 replies

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 15:02

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

OP posts:
Nevernonono · 11/11/2025 06:01

nomas · 11/11/2025 05:52

It is weird show everyone only wants to correct OP’s spelling but everyone else gets a free pass.

Are you saying that “cutla” was spelling error?? 🤣🤣

Monty27 · 11/11/2025 06:27

Nevernonono · 11/11/2025 06:01

Are you saying that “cutla” was spelling error?? 🤣🤣

Just seeking clarification @nomas if that's OK with you?

nomas · 11/11/2025 06:31

Monty27 · 11/11/2025 06:27

Just seeking clarification @nomas if that's OK with you?

What do you mean is it ok with me? In what sense?

chickenfucker · 11/11/2025 07:08

I'm not friends with people I don't like, or who slag me off in group chats for what I buy their kids. Try it, it's liberating. Only be friends with people who genuinely like you.

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 11/11/2025 07:36

@BreezyFish😘

Change2banon · 11/11/2025 07:51

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 22:32

Right can we just drop this now!!! You’ve all made your point I’ll tell her tomorrow “no more gifts”

so anyways have you all got any stories of pain in the arse friends?

You really think anyone’s going to entertain you after this wind up? 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Macaroni46 · 11/11/2025 08:24

Just stop being her friend. You clearly don’t like her.

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 08:36

Okay so after all the advice (and my brain doing Olympic-level overthinking), I finally decided to just bite the bullet.

I messaged her this morning saying:

“Hey, it’s probably best if we just don’t do gifts for the kids this year ❤️.”

Nice, neutral, no drama. I even added the heart so it didn’t sound frosty.

Anyway. She’s read it.
Two blue ticks.
No reply.

I’m giving her till tomorrow to reply. If she still hasn’t replied by then, I might just send a follow-up saying “No worries, hope you’re okay xx”.

Honestly, at this point, the emotional labour of this friendship deserves its own line on my CV.

OP posts:
LizzieW1969 · 11/11/2025 08:59

suki1964 · 10/11/2025 23:29

Im just gob smacked that people expect friends to buy their children presents?

Me too, I only ever bought Christmas presents for my DDs, and nephews and nieces. I used to buy other children presents when my DDs were going to friends’ birthday parties.

PersephonePomegranate · 11/11/2025 09:03

You clearly dont like her and her gifts are not up to your standards, so stop buying them for each other.

Is part of your tradition also bitching about what shes got your DS? Is that the part your reluctant to let go of?!

Mothership4two · 11/11/2025 09:11

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 20:57

The thing is it’s tradition

Maybe talk to her about breaking the tradtion? "As you are trying to save money, lets stop giving the kids presents from now on". Your relationship doesn't sound equal or fair and you seem to always end up the loser (plus she and her friend don't sound very nice).

nosleepforme · 11/11/2025 09:25

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 08:36

Okay so after all the advice (and my brain doing Olympic-level overthinking), I finally decided to just bite the bullet.

I messaged her this morning saying:

“Hey, it’s probably best if we just don’t do gifts for the kids this year ❤️.”

Nice, neutral, no drama. I even added the heart so it didn’t sound frosty.

Anyway. She’s read it.
Two blue ticks.
No reply.

I’m giving her till tomorrow to reply. If she still hasn’t replied by then, I might just send a follow-up saying “No worries, hope you’re okay xx”.

Honestly, at this point, the emotional labour of this friendship deserves its own line on my CV.

That’s quite passive aggressive.

TheatricalLife · 11/11/2025 09:53

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 08:36

Okay so after all the advice (and my brain doing Olympic-level overthinking), I finally decided to just bite the bullet.

I messaged her this morning saying:

“Hey, it’s probably best if we just don’t do gifts for the kids this year ❤️.”

Nice, neutral, no drama. I even added the heart so it didn’t sound frosty.

Anyway. She’s read it.
Two blue ticks.
No reply.

I’m giving her till tomorrow to reply. If she still hasn’t replied by then, I might just send a follow-up saying “No worries, hope you’re okay xx”.

Honestly, at this point, the emotional labour of this friendship deserves its own line on my CV.

I wouldn't bother with a follow up message. There's no need.

78e22387FFGH · 11/11/2025 10:05

What are you "following up"? A "no worries" message to your own message 🤔?

Just leave it

MindfulCat · 11/11/2025 10:07

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 08:36

Okay so after all the advice (and my brain doing Olympic-level overthinking), I finally decided to just bite the bullet.

I messaged her this morning saying:

“Hey, it’s probably best if we just don’t do gifts for the kids this year ❤️.”

Nice, neutral, no drama. I even added the heart so it didn’t sound frosty.

Anyway. She’s read it.
Two blue ticks.
No reply.

I’m giving her till tomorrow to reply. If she still hasn’t replied by then, I might just send a follow-up saying “No worries, hope you’re okay xx”.

Honestly, at this point, the emotional labour of this friendship deserves its own line on my CV.

This is a very 'Chat GPT' style post.

Calling BS on all this. Why on earth do people sit and make this stuff up? Genuinely curious...

nomas · 11/11/2025 10:08

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 08:36

Okay so after all the advice (and my brain doing Olympic-level overthinking), I finally decided to just bite the bullet.

I messaged her this morning saying:

“Hey, it’s probably best if we just don’t do gifts for the kids this year ❤️.”

Nice, neutral, no drama. I even added the heart so it didn’t sound frosty.

Anyway. She’s read it.
Two blue ticks.
No reply.

I’m giving her till tomorrow to reply. If she still hasn’t replied by then, I might just send a follow-up saying “No worries, hope you’re okay xx”.

Honestly, at this point, the emotional labour of this friendship deserves its own line on my CV.

Sounds like she was expecting you to keep spending £25 whilst she spends £2.

Well swerved! Don't message her again.

And if she doesn't reply, don't even bother getting a selection box or card.

BeardOToots · 11/11/2025 10:09

Mumsnet is getting madder. Another rage bait thread that can’t possibly be real!

ObtuseMoose · 11/11/2025 10:43

I'm thinking OP was hoping for loads of 'I'm howling' comments and demands that this goes straight to classics and she should write a book. It's got that writing style all over it.

Nevernonono · 11/11/2025 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 11:16

ObtuseMoose · 11/11/2025 10:43

I'm thinking OP was hoping for loads of 'I'm howling' comments and demands that this goes straight to classics and she should write a book. It's got that writing style all over it.

I was hoping for a cutla comments that would find the situation funny - gotta laugh through the pain sometimes haha

OP posts:
nomas · 11/11/2025 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why?

RessicaJabbit · 11/11/2025 11:25

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 11:16

I was hoping for a cutla comments that would find the situation funny - gotta laugh through the pain sometimes haha

tbf you probably have added to the MN dictionary.

naice...darked on... cutted up .. and now: cutla

Nevernonono · 11/11/2025 12:16

nomas · 11/11/2025 11:23

Why?

Because off the nonsense you’re talking?

What makes you think that the friend still wants the OP to spend £25, when she’s said up front she will be spending just a cutla quid? I mean surely if she wanted the OP to buy a £25 present, she would have told tHE OP and waited until the presents were exchanged?

Can you explain why you think she was expecting the OP to still spend a lot of money?

I’d be very interested in your explanation.

Nevernonono · 11/11/2025 12:17

Nevernonono · 11/11/2025 12:16

Because off the nonsense you’re talking?

What makes you think that the friend still wants the OP to spend £25, when she’s said up front she will be spending just a cutla quid? I mean surely if she wanted the OP to buy a £25 present, she would have told tHE OP and waited until the presents were exchanged?

Can you explain why you think she was expecting the OP to still spend a lot of money?

I’d be very interested in your explanation.

*would not have told

GeorgeandAsh · 11/11/2025 12:39

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 11:16

I was hoping for a cutla comments that would find the situation funny - gotta laugh through the pain sometimes haha

Except it's not remotely funny. Do you really think it is?