Older women of Mumsnet: when did workplace ageism start for you?

[Arbel]

Genuinely curious. I suspect it might be earlier than I’d previously assumed (I’m nearly 40).

This!

I actually experienced reverse ageism when I was in my 20s and early 30s.

I would turn up to meetings in a professional role (business analyst) and people would assume I was the admin person, presumably because i looked young and am female.

Before the meeting got started, they would and ask me questions about the agenda or who had sent apologies. One older woman told me off for not taking notes, and this was AFTER we'd done introductions, she presumably wasn't listening. I honestly used to feel invisible at times unless they wanted a coffee or something.

It hasn’t?

It hasn’t. I started my current role (permanent job in front office technology in an Investment Bank) in my mid 60s.

I was headhunted in my mid 50’s and my role is being enhanced.
Like others I felt more invisible in my late 30s and early 40s when I was battling against the “mummy track” ie the assumption that you lose all ambition when you have children.

I'm 50. I don’t think it’s impacted me to
date but it definitely concerns me for the future.

mmmm.... I'm aware of inexperience but not aware of "ageism."

I'm more experienced than some and less experienced than others.
I'm older than many and younger than others.
The experience ties with skillsets.
Some people are terrible at keeping track of details, a lot of my job involves helping others remember the details.

In theory most people at my workplace are much younger than me. I love the buzz of the youthful energy.

To a point. Part of the issue in my employer's case is they are accountants who wantrd to pay bare minimum by paying junior wages rather than adult wages, but it backfired over & over.

They realised older women tend to stay put, work harder & need less supervision.

I'm 61, has not happened yet. Actually have got more respected as I age I think.

Not happened to me either - I’m also 61 and at chief exec level - I do get offers every now and again but too much tenure to consider a move

Another 'poster' dropping a goady thread title then not engaging with the thread

Not happened to me yet. I’m 56 and a couple of years ago got multiple job interviews easily and ended up in a fairly tech-focused job. Private sector, construction company.

Lots of 40 and 50 something women directors and VPs and C suite at my company.

As soon as I had our DS and the other couple of mums went onto greener pastures, I find that this has "othered" me with being a mother, as everyone else on the team was younger, free and mostly single etc. 🙁
Both my 2 bosses are older than me and are grandmother's (I'm early 40s) which is a comfort, but the rest of my team are either a decade younger or half my age, and it is showing more now as I have come of social media, so don't have the tik toks etc in common 😔
It can be hard, as I feel ancient at times, and some younger staff try to advise me on how to do my job, which can get tiresome, as I was there from the start, nearly a decade ago. 🙁

It hasn’t, but I work in a field which is dominated by middle-aged females and where maturity/life experience can make up for what you might not have in work experience.

I am mid 40s and am the youngest in my team, and actually I sometimes feel discriminated against because of being younger. I suspect most of them think I’m younger than I am.

I was a managing director of a small business by 30, and some of my staff (mostly male, one senior female - all older than me) often pointed out how young I was to be in the role. Despite the fact the role was entirely earned.

I was 52 and all of a sudden , ignored in meetings etc. My views were not valued or sought

Agree in women it's different too.

People in our industry talked about going on the "mum track" i.e. working part time and not being ambitious and I was overlooked for promotion because I was part time IMO.

I am now mid 40s and definitely experience ageism, both positive and negative. I'm taken more seriously but getting an interview for a new job is almost impossible.

I disagree that ageism really exists - as you change so do people’s expectation of you changes. In mid-life or nearing retirement do you really want to spend your time with a load of inexperienced youth? Maybe if they accept that you’ll have a greater life experience or job skills that you can offer and they could benefit from but not if they exclude you through behaviours. It’s all about respect, given by ALL.

Lots of CEOs and directors on here saying they have no problems. That's not really surprising. You're in positions of power and presumably reached those before you got closer to retirement age.

It's those of us in the middle who are more likely to get overlooked, or resented by younger people who are hoping to step into our shoes on their way up there ladder.

If, like me, you're happy to stay in your middle management role, you're easily seen as a road block. I get it. It must be frustrating if you need that stepping stone. But that really is where the ageism comes in. I was objectively exceptional in my role, which they'd been happy enough to benefit from when they needed mentoring, so I couldn't help but resent their attitudes once they were 'flying free' as it were

In my case, I did give up my management role after my husband's death. My priorities changed. Unfortunately those people's attitudes to me didn't change, though, even though I'd cleared the route for them.

Not at all. I went back to work at the age of 66 and was never out of work and am still working at 74. Admin roles initially and now retail supervisor

I’ve worked in the NHS for 25 years, now 51. I’ve never seen it or experienced it in the area I work in. There’s loads of people in their 50s and 60s. I’ve been involved in recruiting older people as well. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen just never seen it. It’s somewhere I feel very at home as a middle aged woman, we run the place.

I noticed ageism when I was younger from older staff tbh. Some ‘older’ managers spoke to me like absolute shit. I knew they wouldn’t have treated 40 year olds that way. I also had a manager who had a son the same age as me and she treated me like a child.

On the flip side, I’m aware of some older people like my mum who may be at a disadvantage when applying for jobs because they don’t keep up to date with new processes or standards. A basic example is that my mum still thought putting your personal hobbies and interests on your cv was a really good thing to do.

No idea why you think it’s sad or what in earth makes you think I’m looking for some who will fuck me.

I’m fucking delighted. I’ve spent half a life time being flirted with at best and harassed at worst by men whom are so far from being in my league they’re on a different planet.

I’m often the most attractive person in the room and nearly always the smartest. I don’t say that to brag, but it’s the truth and in my 40s I’m happy to own it. I earn a ton of money, I’m at the top of my game career wise and if I was a man I’d be treated with almost god like status. I see it by looking at how my male directs are treated, my male co authors and my male business partners.

As a woman the breaks are different. It’s not ageism it’s sexism.

As a former CEO and founder, now back in the C suite there’s possibly a sweet spot when you’re young enough to maybe look like one of their younger wife’s friends but experienced/talented enough for even the most beligerant of arseholes to be slightly impressed at your achievements.

Generally speaking though I don’t think women are immune to sexist ageism regardless of seniority.

53 and feel better in the workplace than ever before tbh. I’m well respected and trusted to do a good job. Younger colleagues seem me out for advice, informal mentoring etc and I feel valued. If you’re experiencing something different maybe it’s time to seek out a better workplace? Invisibility and decline are not necessarily inevitable although I’m quite senior which I recognise helps a lot.

52 and not yet. I got a lovely new job at the beginning of those year. The age range is 40-60+ so I fit in well. I’ve been lucky though I think, I know many mai stream class teachers report feeling as if they have a target on their back once they hit 50.