Older women of Mumsnet: when did workplace ageism start for you?

[Arbel]

Genuinely curious. I suspect it might be earlier than I’d previously assumed (I’m nearly 40).

We had worse than that. Outrage that 66-year-old Susan should apply for VR when she was just about to qualify for her state and workplace pension. Greedy woman was the nicest thing I heard about her.

Funnily enough looking when my previous company made wholesale redundancies due to offshoring the vast majority who went were 40.+ - though I imagine they would justify it by saying it was due to salary rather than age.

The managers average ago then was mid 40’s , it’s now early 30’s

I feel I'm at my peak, or approaching my peak currently, in my early 40s.

I've got 20 years of experience in my field, I'm youthful enough to get on board with new policies/procedures/ways of working/tech, I'm not old enough that theres a huge cultural gulf between me and the 30 somethings I manage, and employers don't have to subconsciously worry that I might need mat leave.

I'm aware I've got about 6-8 years of job hopping still open to me, before I either have to hunker down somewhere for good, or become a self employed consultant (or retrain entirely).

Im 48 and people are only just starting to listen to me. I hope I get 5 years of this at least before they decide im useless.

When I re-trained as a primary school teacher in my early forties (had been a secondary teacher and then a museum teacher in London before the kids). A young but senior teacher said in front of me "The people who come to primary teaching in middle age are the worst sort!' Well, I was a bit bolshie in staff meetings and didn't just say 'How high?' when told to jump. But this comment was in my first week...

Working in a museum, a 20-something recruiter loudly declared (while sifting CVs) 'As if I'm going to employ anyone who got their degree before I was born!'

Luckily another, older and very intellectual member of staff replied: "That's when degrees WERE degrees, Sally!"

This was my experience too. It took until nearly 50 to have any recognition or status.

I was an academic in my mid 40s - to late 50s and it nevers seemed to matter. Academics come all ages, shapes and sizes and its not a "dress up" profession. Lacturers often wear jeans and hoodies and dress down so as not be be out of kilter with the students. I cant say I ever felt "invisible". When you can stand up in a lecture theatre in front of two hundred students then you are not going to be bothered by the odd random or what they think. Im self employed now and deal mostly with people by email and occasional zoom.

57 now. Certainly not expecting any agism for at least 30 years! NHS admin job

I was looking for a job two years ago at 46 and did worry a bit about ageism, especially as I'm not big 'career' person so I haven't been in and wasn't looking for management roles. It didn't seem to be a problem in the end - rejections were not higher than previous times of job hunting. I've landed in a fairly in demand field that seems to be quite age agnostic - I'm nearly 48 now and people doing my type of role in our wider team range from mid 20s to over 60. My managers in this job have been nearer 30. So I think I'll be all right if I want to move on as no one seems that bothered about she as long as you have the right skills

A few times the younger staff have been known to put things on their group Teams chat to each other such as 'oh, sorry Kevin, looks like you're stuck at the oldies table today'. Where we hot-desk and there are a few banks of desks.

I guess is technically ageism, but it's not so much discrimination because we're talking about a junior team mostly in their 20s and a senior team mostly in their 30s. So while they're saying these things to each other, it's junior-to-junior, rather than someone in a more powerful role.

Plus the reason we know this has happened is because there have been things like that junior recipient being in an internal meeting where they're sharing their screen, and the Teams chat notification and preview has popped up. So it's been pretty awkward for them....

I've not encountered any personally (and am at the younger end of this) but I do sometimes wonder whether my workplace's menopause campaign and work, well intentioned as it is, is helpful here. It sometimes makes it sound like we should all expect and just accept that women over 40 will be barely able to function. I understand why there was a need to raise awareness and understanding, but I do wonder if we have the balance quite right. It depresses me a bit because it makes it feel like I'll only just have come out of being unreliable because I have young children and then I'll become floored by menopause.

I am 55.
I was called by a recruiter last week and had a more formal call today.
I have an interview for a different position later this month.
After an informal face to face chat with a director I was encouraged to apply for a position.
They all know my age, either by looking at me or by looking at my employment history.
That said I've also had tens of rejections with no feedback so who knows if I got binned off for being old.

Even in late 30's. Sat in a meeting, made a suggestion, everyone went nooo that won't work. Young male then made same suggestion and it was lapped up.

I was very confused, but then the 2 other women (in their 40's??) in the meeting caught my eye, and gave me a look that said they knew what was happening, and welcome to the club.

Nothing was said, and I learnt that sexism, agism, or whatever it was was alive and well and I was now a fully indoctrinated victim of it.

I think this is really unacceptable and if you haven't made this clear to the younger staff you're doing them a disservice. In most workplaces making personal, negative comments about colleagues' characteristics on work channels wouldn't just be 'pretty awkward'.

I was 38, because the bank I worked for had a drive to promote young males as managers, mine was 26 and their mates, then the women they fancied got preferential treatment. Us women in our late 30's+ were treated terrible. It was the Abby National and no-one was surprised when there were losses across the board.
In my DD's work (NHS) support staff, there's an element of younger staff members trying to bully the older women 45+, but there's enough staff trying to counteract it. There's a lot of 'pee pants' jokes and rhyming of names.

I'm early 50's and not seeing it so far. I did experience some pretty blatant sexism when I was younger and going for promotion though. If anything I would say things are much easier now I'm older. I'm a lot more confident in my ability, and it seems far easier to be taken seriously with some age and experience. I find myself feeling sorry for younger women in my workplace.

I'm sure I was well under 50, when I started noticing that younger (male) colleagues were not expecting me to be any good at the IT aspects of my job.

I got a lot of satisfaction from hearing young men say, in tones of surprised admiration "You're quite whizzy on spreadsheets, aren't you?". I felt like replying "Well I should be, mate, I'm quite clever, and I've been doing this 8 hours a day since you were in junior school".

I never quite cracked a politer form of this reply, but just kept the personal satisfaction that I'd shown that middle-aged women can do stuff they thought was a young male preserve.

Ageism from some younger staff? probably in my 40s, from employer, 50s, thats when projects, opportunities etc that mostly would have come my way started to be diverted. It happened for most 50 something women but less so for men.

Mid fifties. I’m on a small team (7 people) and older than the eldest by about 16 years. They are all perky and athletic (rock climbing, triathletes, marathons) while I am a plump crisp eater.

Civil servant, 53. I’ve never experienced it, thankfully. The twentysomethings don’t assume I’m weak with IT either.

A 61 year old colleague was recently promoted on merit.

But as someone who has made people redundant, that can sometimes be helpful as if someone was going to retire anyway in the next 6/12 months, they may bite an employers hand off to go a year early with a redundancy payment. In that case it works otherwise you keep them (if they are the better person) only to lose them shortly after. So your colleagues may have been thinking the same - it's is true that the older you get ie past 50, lots of people do start to think about retiring, especially if they've skills that mean they can do a few days consulting here and there.

I’m not yet 40 but I’m finding it nearly impossible to get promoted as a part time mum of 2 under 5. It’s so disheartening to see younger colleagues leapfrogging me and I’m starting to think I will never get promoted. It’s a horrible feeling but at least I’m so busy with trying to cram everything in that I don’t have much time to dwell on it.

I think it depends on your outlook and whether younger hiring teams relate to you, or consider you a boomer. Clothes, genetics and a younger outlook all help.

I'm 51 and I haven't experienced it, but I think it is industry dependent.

I was on the receiving end of ageism in my last job, and it did come as a bit of a shock. I was in my 50s, well respected and good at my job, but found myself being literally ignored by a young woman who had recently graduated. It wasn't a pleasant experience, but at least I was senior enough that it didn't impact me.

I moved jobs a couple of years ago, aged 59. I found it interesting that my CV got little interest at first, until I decided to change the format and make it skills based, highlighting only my last two jobs over twenty years and taking out all the dates so my age wasn't obvious. It worked, I started getting interviews and I've ended up in a great job where I haven't experienced ageism so far. Probably because it's public sector and many of my team are of a similar vintage.