Older women of Mumsnet: when did workplace ageism start for you?

[Arbel]

Genuinely curious. I suspect it might be earlier than I’d previously assumed (I’m nearly 40).

When I tried to get a new job in my late 40s I was completely ghosted. Recruiters wouldn't even answer my calls or emails.
I applied for at least 30 positions in my (ageist) industry and wasn't offered a single interview. Depressing.

I eventually managed to get some freelance work through previous contacts in the agency world. I worked with people young enough to be my kids 😅

It certainly made me think about how older people and their experience is often overlooked (and I was guilty of this myself in the past).

Now. I'm 40 and work in the NHS. The 30 year old consultants literally tell me how to do my job and how they can do it better. They arnt the same specialty and I am also a consultant.

Im not sure it ageism but definitely age related sexism.

I’m in my mid 40s, senior professional role. Significantly less fuckable than I was in my 20s. I’m in a male dominated profession in a male dominated industry. Men have always been sexist twats but I used to get a pass because they thought I might sleep with them. Despite never having given them the remotest reason to believe that.

now they remain sexist twats but they’re way less likely to give me a pass. So tiresome.

Tina and Amy summed it up beautifully with last fuckable day - can’t link but worth a google

I found it harder to get interviews after 50, but I honestly haven't experienced agism or the invisibilty that's often spoken about, at work.

I work with some very senior middle aged women and find that they and their (our) experience are very well respected.

Not a thing at the secondary school i work in.Im 45.

I was 50.
I took redundancy from the civil service where I had never encountered it, colleagues were of a similar age and youngsters were much junior.

Job hunting was a depressing eye opener. I was looking for a more junior role with less responsibility so perhaps I was competing with younger candidates.
It's also very difficult to hide your age when your qualifications are dated.

The job I got in the end I think was because of my age - I was confident, resourceful and experienced in comparison to the competition.

Late 30's early 40's - I work in the media.
Never mention my children or material status in interviews. Have shaved a decade off my LinkedIn and CV.

In my 60s but my dc hasn't left school yet so that helps I think. People just assume I'm younger than I am.

I have been in my current role for just over 5 years. When I was interviewed for the position, the panel consisted of the CEO, deputy CEO and Corporate Services Manager - all of whom were around my age.

In the last 18 months, we have had a new Corporate Services Manager (younger than the last incumbent), a new CEO (slightly younger than my youngest adult child) and a new person filling a retitled deputy CEO position (again, about the age of my eldest adult child). As a consequence, I am now the oldest in the team and am beginning to 'feel the draught' .. some of my previous responsibilities have bee removed (ostensibly in the guise of redistributing the workload - which I had no problem coping with) and I am feeling somewhat 'side-lined'.

On the up-side, I am planning to retire next year (and migrate across to my husband's business), so they will definitely notice my absence. Many of the team keep telling me that I can't retire as they always come to me for help / support ... it's nice to feel wanted and valued, but I won't miss the current approach from senior leaders when I do leave. I'm actually looking froward to my 'exit interview' ... some home truths will be revealed!

While I really hope I was never rude enough to show it, I think I also assumed when I was very young in the workplace (early 20s) that 'older' people in junior positions must have not been good enough to get promoted. I just assumed that everyone was trying to climb the career ladder. Fortunately, experience has taught and shown me that people and paths are much more complicated and individual than that.

I haven't experienced it yet but I think it's because I've been an IT contractor for many years so all a company cares about is can I do the job and do they like me, because they know it's not long term. They can sack me with no notice if I'm crap.

I think if I was looking for a permanent job it would be a very different kettle of fish, age 50+ is where age discrimination really kicks in I hear.

In one company I worked for the Chief Exec was 31 and I probably discriminated against him because I mostly thought WTF about him and his 10 years experience. There was no way he had enough knowledge and experience.

Hello - me too. Not met another ghostwriter on here before. I don't do celebrities either but I am not prolific on social media.

40

Luckily I haven't experienced it....yet. I'm 65 and starting a new job on Monday

Oh, don't worry. I think I should have been clear that my phrasing of 'pretty awkward' comes with a slightly smug smile on my part, plus a lot of side-eyeing between me and the other senior people.

It was not appropriate at all, and it was brought up with the relevant people almost immediately, plus is a pattern of a few things that were then brought up at some performance reviews.

It was a good few months back now, so looking back on it I can be more sanguine and take the high path, rather than still feel annoyed or angry. The appropriate responses we taken at the time, plus it's one of those things you forgive but don't forget, so all four Directors will always know that these few people said these things.

Fifty eight.

IT industry. Up until that point I had hit every target they gave me. Then at 58 I was diagnosed with BC. They were supportive for about six weeks. Throughout the eight months of surgery, chemo and radio, I took 10 days off in total and was seldom off email during the evening, but it didn't make any difference.

As soon as I was no longer in active treatment, they decided they wanted someone with 'more up to date skills who could be in the office 5 days a week' and paid me off. I had a fully remote contract at their request.

Sometimes no matter how hard you work, it's not enough. 🙄

It only took 7 weeks to find another position, so clearly my skills aren't that out of date !

Early to mid 50s I started to feel that I wasn’t getting new business as a freelance consultant, I was getting work from people I’d worked with previously but winning way fewer tenders than I used to, various friends around the same age commented that they’d experienced the same. One of the things I was experiencing when working with younger colleagues in organisations though was needing to provide them with emotional support around their anxiety about their projects, which could be a bit tiring, I think because we were older they relied on us more for reassurance - I suspect they wouldn’t have done in the same way if we were men of the same age, it’s another example of the invisible work that women do.

I now work in the public sector where I don’t feel I experience ageism, other than as a PP has said, I feel as I have to justify that I’m not technologically inept every time I ask an ICT question, though I wonder whether the ICT people just assume everyone’s hopeless and I am just attributing it to age myself! I did comment to my team recently though about frustration with a colleague from a different team who is about my age who played the “I’m old I don’t understand anything technological” card when I tend to be an early adopter - not sure whether she realises that it has an impact on all of us saying stuff like that.

The whole social justice agenda I think has caused a division that is partly age related as well in certain sectors, especially in national charities.

Huh? What?

What industry do you work in?

Me too - I was head hunted at 55 😀

Similar for me back along in the Civil Service. My maturity was never mentioned, ageism wasn’t a factor in anything or from anyone rather I was valued for my experience and energy.
I was very happy throughout. Left on the crest of a wave.

Currently just turned 60. Also in IT where youth is worshipped. I was forced out of a very senior job aged 56 by a younger male boss. I had a new job lined up e before the signature had dried on my settlement agreement. It amused me to see that they took a whole year to replace me and even then it was with someone I had trained originally.

To be fair, I deliberately targeted jobs several grades lower as I was burnt out after COVID. My friends refer to it as my "semi retirement". My current much younger male boss knows full well I could do his job with one hand tied behind my back but also that I have absolutely no desire to do so. He treats me as a valuable resource. I like to keep him on his toes by casually suggesting solutions issues he struggles with.

I'm in my 50s and am academic. I'm enjoying the fact that I am treated with more respect than when I was younger and don't feel I am treated any differently from the men of my age. If anything, there was more of a gap in treatment/respect compared with men when I was younger.

Never happened to me. Worked in the media, got big promotion at 44, changed career aged 52, and retired a couple of years ago. Never encountered ageism.

It hasn't. I've been with my employer for nearly 2 years and I'm 60 in December. The longest I've ever been out of work since I hit 50 was 3 weeks. I have recently been offered promotion to a supervisor's role, but turned it down because I didn't want the responsibility.