Step daughter wanting help to gut her house and in not happy to help

[Lola234456]

I'm unwell and have a demanding physical job three long days a week, step daughter shall we say is very not houseproud barely does housework and I'm fairly disgusted with how she lives in her rented property, her dad often comments, both herself and her partner have good well paid jobs but they would simply rather goout or play computer games, she has a check by property mananger Thurs I have a long shift at work weds but am after after working two long days Mon and Tues in which I intend to spend one day cleaning and one day food shopping and relaxing, am I wrong to say no I won't spend my day off going and gutting her out I really wouldn't know when or where to start!!!

YANBU but I would say be prepared for them to be evicted and want to move in with you. Plan now for what you would do if that happens.

YANBU.
I'd suggest they book a deep clean with a professional company if they can't be arsed to do it themselves. Your DH can help if he wants.

A young fit healthy couple should be ASHAMED to ask their parents for cleaning help, even if you didn't have health issues. Stick to your guns, do not engage with mardiness, do not argue, do not debate.

Let her get mardy. Maybe they'll learn their lesson, draw up a cleaning rota between them and look after their rental a bit better. I keep my home quite tidy and my friends often suggest I could come help them with their tidying and cleaning. I'm like why would I do that! I don't enjoy those tasks but they need doing as I don't want to live somewhere that is messy and dirty.

Is there a reason why DSD and her partner can't do it themselves during Monday/Tuesday evening?
I think they have a cheek asking you to do it, especially as you are unwell enough to be struggling to manage your own work, and they are grown adults. Your DH is pushing boundaries too, he must know that things are difficult for you.
I think you should take to your bed on Tuesday, or at least take a very obvious and lengthy nap, to ram the point home. Why are you doing the cleaning and shopping when your DH is retired and has all week to do this stuff?

Your husband is roping you in despite you telling him no.

His lazy kid and lazy partner should have bought the cleaning supplies, failing that, your retired husband who doesn't have a long work day tomorrow. Fuck that bullshit.

It's nothing to do with you, don't give it a nanosecond of thought.
They are two adults who are free to live however they choose. They have two parents each who can help them. So six adults altogether. Not your problem.

I read it as it’s so bad that there isn’t enough time to do it then.

Why buy them products?! Let them sort it! Keep the products for yourself.

Dump your DP.

He’s lucky that’s all you said.

Who are the 4% who think you should help? That's nuts. Does your husband honestly think you're there to act as a cleaner for his lazy daughter and her boyfriend? If she can rent a flat, she can clean it.

Hang on a minute - you say the SD and her partner have good paid jobs?? Why on earth aren't they buying their own cleaning products?? and hiring a cleaner if they are too bone idle to clean themselves (unless there is some health reason that they can't physically clean themselves??)

You're doing the right thing staying out of it - and your partner should be doing the same. The issue is theirs to resolve, even if you weren't ill I'd still be advising you to say no.

You should have all just said no!

It's (literally) their mess to clean up.

I moved to the other side of the country at 18 so this wouldn't have been an option for me anyway, but it's really embarrassing for them.

None of this makes any sense. Not sure why you’d even consider doing it, why you’d feel guilty about not, why you need to question if it’s ok not to do another adults cleaning, not sure why you use so many exclamation marks. All very strange. Of course you don’t do it.

Have absolutely nothing more to do with it! She/they have chosen to live like that, why the hell should you or her dad be expected to help clean it! They've got no shame, step away and have nothing further more to do with it. Sounds like they'll try anything to get you to help with other bits, especially after you've already 'helped' by getting the cleaning stuff in. it's not your circus, not your monkeys.

They will be meaning the op is BU to even ask the question. Cos it’s absurd.

I’m confused about why you have to clean all day at your house, food shop and buy cleaning supplies and help you DSC while your DH is retired. Does he do nothing?

Op stick it out, not your problem, they had all weekend to do it but choose to go away,
Normally get a months notice for this, so why leave it till now

If your step-daughter and her partner are old enough to be living in a rented property, then they're old enough to bloody clean it themselves too!! Grown adults, who are still behaving like children, and then expecting their parents to bail them out. No one expects a house to be pristine, but there's no excuses for a dirty home, that's nothing but laziness.

No absolutely yanbu op. I think if they have extenuating circumstances going on like poor mental health or are nd or such like then that's one thing to ask for support, but if they are two otherwise capable and self responsible adults then I wouldn't be jumping in here. Enabling them isn't helping them in any way. It sounds from your posts like they are making conscious choices and then expecting someone else to bail them out. I agree with pps who have suggested they hire in support if they are in two decent jobs.

Not your problem they're slobs.. I wouldn't be helping either!

What a couple of CFs.

No way you should be cleaning for two lazy twats, (never used that word before😆). Who the hell do they think they are. Her dad's the biggest fool🙄

why cant she buy cleaning supplies and clean? Is it like a crack den or something?

Of course you don't do it! It's her mess, it's time she and hun start to look after themselves and no magical cleaning fairy is available, unless they go rent one and pay for a cleaner.

Not your problem. She is an adult, she needs to sort it out herself.