Husband wants to move to dubai

[Dilemma87]

My husband is a businessman in property and with the recent proposed tax changes and new rules putting limits on how long he can keep doing things from the UK, he’s now saying he needs to move to Dubai and operate from there.

We actually have some friends there, and his business partner is already based out there, so on paper it all sounds easy enough. His plan is to buy a second property in Dubai and move there by himself, while I stay here with the kids.

The problem is, the children are really settled one’s in high school and the other is due to start soon, so moving them just isn’t an option. He’s suggested that we (me and the kids) fly out to Dubai every school holiday to spend time with him.

The catch is, under his visa he can only be out of Dubai for 90 days a year, so he’d basically have to live there full-time.

AIBU to think this is just not going to work long-term? I can’t help but feel like this is the start of living completely separate lives.

Some facts.
https://www.walkfree.org/global-slavery-index/country-studies/united-arab-emirates/

https://www.amnesty.org/en/location/middle-east-and-north-africa/middle-east/united-arab-emirates/report-united-arab-emirates/

https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2020/sep/03/i-am-starving-the-migrant-workers-abandoned-by-dubai-employers

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-68729583

Well there’s the option of him trying it, see how it goes. 3 months in a year isn’t that bad. He could come here and you all go there or an other place. Could be fun. I’d be tempted to give it a go, see how you all fare.

And wrt pp’s going on about taxes - he’s probably paid tax here all his life, you’re still paying tax here even if he goes. You’re using private schools so not using the state education you’re paying for, possibly private health care, so ditto for health care.

As a couple you’ve probably paid more into the uk tax bucket already, than the majority of the uk population would pay in their lifetime.

Wrt womens rights - get real pp’s. If you don’t understand the situation women are in this country - despite the brilliant SC ruling, you’re deluded.

Wrt gay rights - absolutely. But frankly all Muslim countries are against gay people. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t stop you from going to them on holiday / protesting for the rights of their terrorist governments.

Try to pack up the champagne socialist shit and allow people to succeed in life without the gaslighting and dragging down.

OP you never know it might work out, why not see how it goes? Life could become easier for you all!

Surely he’ll miss you and the kids? What is your relationship like?

You can think it and wish for anything. It’s just not how the world works. It’s proven that when you tax rich people beyond a certain level, they just leave, leaving you with even less tax in the system.

Which is actually quite stupid. Shooting self in the foot in the name of left wing ideology on tax.

So basically he's telling you he is leaving you and the kids for money?

If I were you, I would divorce him while you can still find him and have proof of his income.

The original point was about taxes and benefits. They pay more tax than here and they seem to be doing ok. Doesn’t look like everyone who makes any money is buggering off.

The bloke is willing to ditch his wife and kids for more money, it doesn't sound like he has any integrity to start with.

I can’t help but feel like this is the start of living completely separate lives

Because that's what it is.

He’s suggested that we (me and the kids) fly out to Dubai every school holiday to spend time with him

How nice of him!!

I'm sorry OP, but he's basically willing to leave your marriage, or change something incredibly fundamental about it whether you like it or not, it seems. I'm sure he'll bolster his argument with saying that he can still be a present father through Whatsapp, but he won't really be there through the real drudgery, will he?

Unless he's some sort of monk-like figure with regards to his work devotion, don't expect this type of man to be faithful.

How much is it worth in tax savings to have to move country away from your wife and children?

I can never see myself doing this. I wouldn’t want DC uprooted from friendship group. Sure schools are good but it’s such a markedly different culture beyond the holiday lifestyle. It’s far too hot and geographically and politically a risky place I think. I will just sit here and quietly seethe about taxes instead.

Hope you sort it out.

Well judging that his wife and kids would still be here. Going to school, using the NHS etc. I would say taking advantage is exactly what he would be doing!

That quote means exactly the opposite of what you are using it for.

Well, to be fair, a lot of men in the Services…..

Yeah I can also copy paste a load of links too. What’s your point. Also, posting from the BBC is not great. They are literally being shown up for lying all the time.

Will you miss him? From the sound of things I doubt it...

This is a properly odd response. I asked where you live. I asked why you don’t move to Dubai if it’s so fabulous. No hands. No curling lip.
You told someone you didn’t understand what they meant by saying you are being oddly aggressive. This post is an example of it.

I don’t think it does. Maybe you just heard for the first time today.

There are people living for free?! Why haven't you joined them?? Must be amazing right!

I don’t blame him and it’s probably a really good experience for your kids. They might not think it now but they will when they’re older.
I think the main issue for me would be that he thinks that he can go without you. It would put a question mark over how much he values his marriage.
It certainly is a tricky position but to be honest I’d probably go and start a new chapter of your life.

Actually I lived in Dubai for 6 years and I have never felt safer and have never been treated with so much respect.

Exactly. Economics and the left don’t really get on. The Laffer Curve is real. Sooner people understand that, the better.

As long as your husband is still paying the correct amount of tax for everything he is earning in the UK, then it’s really down to his ethical and moral compass regarding his own personal income tax and earnings from his Dubai business, alongside squaring up living in a country that has a lot of human rights issues levelled against it. It wouldn’t be my choice, but we live in a democracy with significant personal freedom and we should respect that.

If this was to somehow reduce how much tax he pays in the UK earned through UK interests then it’s a completely different matter. I hope that would catch up with him to be honest.

From a personal perspective, I couldn’t live in the situation your DH is proposing. It would be horrendous. But only you know if you’d cope for the sake of not uprooting your DC.

Taxation can’t be based on a principal of self sacrifice or morality .. presumably you know that otherwise we wouldn’t need to legally enforce it? Chill out.

You can keep asking personal information, you won’t get it. I will not tell you where I live. Not sure why you are so obsessed about my location.

This in spades.

He'd happily leave you all here for 9 months of the year to save a few quid (and live a bachelor life).

Presumably he's a high earner if your DC are at private school and he has business interests here and abroad, so can afford the tax, just doesn't want to pay it.

If the case was you'd have to take your DC out of school and move house if he didn't go and he was doing it for all of you I'd have much more understanding.

I personally would never want to live in Dubai for many reasons already pointed out. What if it turns out one of your DC is gay?

I would say you either all go or all stay. Your comment about female friends is foreboding