Husband wants to move to dubai

[Dilemma87]

My husband is a businessman in property and with the recent proposed tax changes and new rules putting limits on how long he can keep doing things from the UK, he’s now saying he needs to move to Dubai and operate from there.

We actually have some friends there, and his business partner is already based out there, so on paper it all sounds easy enough. His plan is to buy a second property in Dubai and move there by himself, while I stay here with the kids.

The problem is, the children are really settled one’s in high school and the other is due to start soon, so moving them just isn’t an option. He’s suggested that we (me and the kids) fly out to Dubai every school holiday to spend time with him.

The catch is, under his visa he can only be out of Dubai for 90 days a year, so he’d basically have to live there full-time.

AIBU to think this is just not going to work long-term? I can’t help but feel like this is the start of living completely separate lives.

Yes, but he has a reputation as a womaniser and is going to be moving to another country where his rights would supersede those of his wife in the possibility of a divorce. So, is that what he’s actually hoping for? Given that he knows OP isn’t on board, and in fact, most committed couples would not want this?

We have moved away from the UK last year. Whilst tax wasn’t the only consideration - it was definitely a consideration. We have 3 children all in private school and both at the high end of tax. It was difficult to leave and I still miss the UK but for us all it has been beneficial. And not because we don’t want to pay tax but because we feel the tax system is punitive and working hard and having a career where we earn good money is often being demonised (from our perspective), and somehow saying we don’t want to contribute any more than we do is not being fair.

He's hoping for loads of money, a bit on the side, a party lifestyle whilst playing at nice dh and happy family a few times a year.

Why is someone pathetically predictable because they don’t think the same as you.

@2ndtimethecharm

I hope he is getting good advice

Seconded

as by having children and a property in the UK he could be deemed tax resident anyway

I'm not sure that in itself would make him resident but I'm fairly to very certain maintaining family in the UK is one of the UK ties HMRC look out when performing the statutory residence test...

Lol why are you so angry and defensive with your million comments. You've clearly got some skin in the game (live in Dubai? Want to live in Dubai? Just hate 'benefit scroungers' arrgghhhhrgh) and people are hurting your precious little feelings boohoo.
Bet you're the type who hates immigrants here too yet you're aspiring to migrating yourself to Dubai.
Go on, come back to me with another sound bite.

He has got advise through a business partner that has already done this. I didn’t realise the 90 days were uk rules and not Dubai.

Lots to think about. I don’t think I’d have time to divorce him. I do love him and we’ve built a great life together.

I worry about the other women, as nothing has happened that I know of here. The one women in particular apparently isn’t interested in him like that but I do worry what if she had been.

Very interesting - I hadn't fully considered a lot of this.. All these need to be addressed.

Dubai? Presumably you don’t have daughters?

He must want his head examined.
I bet he votes for Reform too. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Well, that would be the best case scenario imo, though you may well be right!

I don’t think the far right types as you put it are paying tax in the first place.

Would you be happy to pay that amount if we had good state schools, NHS, crime, housing etc?

I know a young unmarried white British couple in their 20s who have moved there for a better life.

Ha, that's a good point.

Tbf maybe in the Expat bubble it feels less like a different culture

Besides, they're not paying tax there

You believe that the UK is one of the most dangerous countries in the world for a woman to live?

That's wildly inaccurate.

Why do you say 'grape'? We're not on TikTok

If we lived in a utopia where housing isn’t a fortune, and where I can have good medical care - forget about good just adequate, send my kids to good schools we would probably be having a different conversation. But changes would need be made. The whole tax system needs to be reformed. A high earner that lived in London is very different from a high earner that lives somewhere else in the country.

How is the UK built on theft?

And our country is certainly not built on slave labour to the extent Dubai's is : what historical illiteracy.

What is your evidence for women being happier in Dubai than UK?

Your ignorance is indeed 'hillarious '. 🤣

Dubai is so much safer.

In London you can't even walk around public with your phone out. Necklaces get snatched on the tube. This isn't tolerated in Dubai

This is what makes me laugh.

"Expat" Brits making bubbles to feel more at home in foreign countries because they feel pushed out and made to pay more taxes in the UK = totally fine and normal.

Vs

Any foreigners coming to the UK for a better life. And god forbid they live close together in their own bubbles! And follow other religions to their new country. Yikes! Who would do such a thing?

I'm not disputing that Dubai is safer (though I don't agree with the death penalty, as I've said,,so am concerned by the amount of people who seem to imply we should copy them).

What I'm disputing is that pp's ridiculous assertion that the UK is one of the most dangerous countries for women. That's more than ridiculous: it's an insult to the UK and to the women who live in countries that are actually the most dangerous.

https://www.rescue.org/uk/article/five-most-dangerous-places-be-girl

People often say it's different because there aren't many expats. Some countries do definitely feel they have too many : Spain would be a well known example. What do Dubaians think mostly, I wonder?

You need to make sure you research and obtain as much accurate information as possible regarding moving to Dubai. I'm sure the country has it's plus points, but no country is utopia. You say you have children with your husband but you also have a child from a previous relationship. Would your child's Dad approve the move to Dubai? Unless your child's Dad has passed away, you can't just permanently take them out the country. Dubai is full of people making a lot of money, working long hours but they rarely stay long-term. Within a few years, those people return to their country of origin. I would be reluctant to move my children from settled schools here in the UK, especially if this move doesn't end up being permanent. I find it very odd that your husband seems more or less indifferent to you and the children staying here in the UK. He doesn't seem bothered that he'd only see them during the school holidays. You would also be parenting solo, there would be no support from your husband, if he moved to Dubai on his own. I understand wanting to save money, but that shouldn't be the 'be all and end all' of everything! It shouldn't be coming before family. As a couple you will be financing two homes - one in the UK and the other in Dubai, that's expensive in itself - would he actually be saving that much?? How much paid holiday to you have? Most people, unless they work in education, don't tend to get 13 weeks leave from their job, to be able to spend in Dubai! No one wants to go to Dubai in July/August the heat is extreme. I would be wondering if my husband moving to Dubai, would be signaling the end of my marriage.

Yes, times are different now. And we need to change things, not flee from that responsibility like cowards, leaving them to 'plenty of people'.

What do you think of immigrants who come here to have a better life? Do you think they should stay in their home countries and try to make them less poor & corrupt? I say that as someone anti-immigration.

If you believe that, but you think it's fine for well-off people to waltz off from here rather than contribute, you're a hypocrite.