Husband wants to move to dubai

[Dilemma87]

My husband is a businessman in property and with the recent proposed tax changes and new rules putting limits on how long he can keep doing things from the UK, he’s now saying he needs to move to Dubai and operate from there.

We actually have some friends there, and his business partner is already based out there, so on paper it all sounds easy enough. His plan is to buy a second property in Dubai and move there by himself, while I stay here with the kids.

The problem is, the children are really settled one’s in high school and the other is due to start soon, so moving them just isn’t an option. He’s suggested that we (me and the kids) fly out to Dubai every school holiday to spend time with him.

The catch is, under his visa he can only be out of Dubai for 90 days a year, so he’d basically have to live there full-time.

AIBU to think this is just not going to work long-term? I can’t help but feel like this is the start of living completely separate lives.

So it's greedy to want to keep your own money, but not greedy to demand someone else's?

Someone has to serve you your coffee and stack the shelves at Tesco though don’t they? We need people in these low-paid jobs for society to function.

Wow. Want any vinegar for that chip on your shoulder?

It affects the willingness to pay higher taxes. Social democracy is a cultural artefact as much as anything else, it only works if everyone thinks the same way.

It’s effectively a separation isn’t it? A rather nice sounding one if that’s what will work for you. I think my teens would find it very hard.

There’s no way I’d be ok with this. He’s wanting to prioritise saving some tax over being with his family. I’m not even thinking about it from the dubious moral aspect of tax dodging. Just from a family/relationship the fact you are so low down on his list would be the end of the relationship for me.

he expects you to be at home, doing all the day to day stuff while he’s tossing it off in the sun having single type lifestyle. No thanks. Either everyone goes or nobody goes in my book. What would you get out of it? A nice life at home I guess if he’s sending money over. Sounds like a sugar daddy arrangement to me rather than a marriage but you do what you want.

None of us relish the thought of more taxes. I’d say the vast majority of us wouldn’t leave our children just to avoid them though.

He sounds scummy for a multitude of reasons. Are you actually happy in the relationship?

And they can get their low pay.

That's not true. We pay £510 million on top of the sovereign grant for security, and that figure is after any contribution. The King and Prince William pocket the profit from the Duchy.

I agree large numbers of immigrants here affect social willingness to be more generous. Also perceptions of 'benefit scroungers' allowed to abuse the system. David Goodhart has some good ideas on trying to increase cohesion, and with it, generosity.

Just seen your post about his female “friends”. Hell no. He’d be shagging all sorts out there.

My advice would be divorce him before he moves out incase it’s harder to get a divorce settlement if he’s abroad. I’m assuming you couldn’t make him pay child support? Especially if self employed. Or let him go thinking everything is ok and then empty at least half from the joint bank accounts if not everything. Because you won’t see a penny from his business.

also if the kids enjoy their hobbies why do you think they’d be happy to go and sit in Dubai every school,holiday? They’d want to see friends, do their hobbies, they’ll get into exam years and need to revise.

Money isn't everything.

Untrue. Do you also realise the amount of money they waste, and have for years? Andrew & Sarah are the tip of the iceberg.

I would nod along and let him go, then I'd be keeping careful notes and employing a good lawyer to make sure I screwed him over before he screwed me and the children over.

Do you then think we should have death penalty?

Plenty of Europe has lower crime rates without that.

I suspect OP will stick this marriage out for the money and in the hope that the worst doesn't materialise.

Just make sure you protect your own finances, because your access to the significant assets of the marriage is clearly going to be serverely curtailed by his moving them to another jurisdiction.

And protect your sexual health.

are you this angry with people bleeding the system dry? I think it’s a perfectly good decision from a financial perspective. This country is in a steep decline, leaving a sinking ship makes sense

What I'm curious about is what the high earners would tend to spend money if they could keep the taxed money.

On better education for kids - I have a lot of sympathy, especially seeing how shit state education is right now. Elderly parents' care, ditto.

Entertainment- depends what you like. Some is ofc much more affordable than others.

Expensive holidays, clothes & food? Much less sympathy.

Ah, you’re one of those.

Let me guess, you make a nice amount of money, get all your “facts” from the Daily Mail, you think Nigel Farage “makes some good points” and you also think the fault of everything is at the feet of those “leeching off the system” not people like OP’s tax dodging husband (which btw, costs us far more than those on benefits, but don’t let that stop your venom and blinkered view on life).

Right. Won’t waste any more time on the likes of you. You have your mind made up and you won’t change it.
Must be terribly depressing being so miserable and easily led by propaganda as it is.

Who is bleeding the system dry?

I agree benefit scroungers are a problem. But are there THAT many?

And another one, you’re all so pathetically predictable 🥱🙄

I just can’t imagine leaving DH and the DC to save money, unless we were absolutely on the breadline. I mean, how much money do you actually need?

Sanctimonious- or thinking that we should all pitch in to improve our shared country, rather than just thinking, 'Hands off MY money!'

The real problem though is that the gov is not improving health, education, housing, prisons etc. With the high taxes the get. I can see why high earners are pissed off when taxes don't seem to improve the country.

Still, a person who earns a lot yet feels 'clobbered' by huge tax hikes will still have quite a lot of money left compared to a low earner.

Yeah - so he doesnt want to pay for it - we all should!

Thats what should make people angry