Massive decluttering of house , what's wrong with me?

[Poodlelove]

Quick back story , ten years ago we had to clear a close relatives home , after they suddenly passed away.It took months .

I then began decluttering my own home so that our children didn't have this burden.They are all adults and have their own families.

Over the last few weeks I have been sorting out again , this time getting rid of big furniture that we are not using.
Getting rid of things that ten years ago I wouldn't part with .

I have got this feeling that I must do this and every time something has been collected via market place I feel so much better.

Today my husband said he was a little worried that he would come home and the sofa would be gone.

I am not yet 60 , I had a health scare in the January, but got the all clear , whilst recovering I couldn't do any housework , my husband did a good job but I got very frustrated that I couldn't do anything .

Has anyone else my age been through this ?

Thanks for reading.

I’m like this, I had a health scare earlier this year too and always feel like I’m decluttering and now moving onto things I wouldn’t have parted with a year ago.

I feel relief when unused stuff gets sold or donated and I haven’t missed anything I’ve got rid of.

For me it’s the new normal and I’ve stopped buying things I don’t need.

Have you read the Swedish death clearing book? This is what you are doing (it’s not as gloomy a read as it sounds!)

i think it’s a wise and kind thing to do. Our neighbour left their dcs a 3 storey 5 bed rammed with junk. Plus an outbuilding. It took him months to sort.

Also, tell your husband the sofa won’t be gone as you are using it 😂 you are only getting rid of things you don’t use

Yes I have read it 😁 Very helpful .

As I've aged I've realised I need fewer things. The acquisition of new things doesn't appeal, commercialism and materialism seem awful to me. To live with fewer things and needs is really freeing.

Maybe have an agreement that big things need both persons approval? Then personal items is up to the individual

Another book that might interest you OP is Less by Patrick Grant. It tells how we now have far more 'stuff' than people did 100 or even 50 years ago but as a society we are no happier.

We've had a clutter free house for a number of years - if it doesn't get used or worn then it's gone! It is a direct result of my parents house being so full of clutter you can't open doors. There are packing crates from an overseas move which haven't been opened and they moved into the house in 1980 after returning from overseas.... I'm about to get to grips with clearing it and getting it on the market. I'm going to make a box of things to keep (very few), a box of things to sell and then I'm going to get a house clearance company in.

Our children know they'll have very little to do other than drink any champagne we haven't managed to finish and are very pleased with the prospect.

Bloody hell, you're not even 60! Calm down! Sounds like the opposite of a hoarding disorder... rather than getting rid of things you still need, can you focus on making a will and ensuring you have all your papers in good order? Then once that's done, try to enjoy your life, there's most likely a lot of it left :)

My mum was always a big declutterer and I once tried to explain to her that we’d like something left- there’s very little left in the house and it feels cold. She’s only early 70s and could live another twenty years but even if she doesn’t I miss all her little bits and bobs- she used to keep recipes and articles and art from the grandchildren. Just remember the stuff you get rid of us part of you. I’ve had to help clear one or two houses and people act like it’s the worst burden but some of us see it as getting to know the person all over again so don’t do this for anyone other than yourself x

I think this is a great idea. My mum passed this year and when she was diagnosed with her illness, my parents did this. My dad is still here but I know when the times comes it’ll be a much easier sort out. My MIL the other hand!! There’s so much I just know it’ll end up in a skip as too much to sort through

Where does it say she's getting rid of things she needs?

I don't know, I can't stand mess and clutter, so I find it weirder when people keep accumulating stuff, including furniture.

It just so much fresher, brighter and faster to deal with as little as possible, so I don't think it's a negative.

Depends what you call clutter also. My DH would probably tell you my 50 pairs of shoes are "clutter" 😂, but I only keep the ones I do wear, and get rid of any pair in a bad shape, stained or that I just don't like anymore. I just don't keep stuff for the sake of it, even our books get a good clear out every couple of months.

I'm the same every time someone passes and I'm either involved in, or listen to talk of, house clearing.

I think bereavement makes you take stock of your own life and what is actually important.

Unsure if it's maybe a way of processing the emotions surrounding death.

Is he concerned that you are not discussing any of this with him? I feel he deserves at least to be consulted on bigger items and not just come home and find furniture gone. Have you ever decluttered anything that is actually his?

I can empathise with this. I’m 50 and looking to downsize so started clearing out gradually. Selling on Vinted, FB market place and recycling trips etc. I’ve enjoyed it so much that I’m finding it a bit hard to stop. Getting rid of the next thing is just so satisfying. Shopping for new clothes etc has lost all appeal as I don’t want more stuff in the house.

I need some tips please.
I often feel I need to get rid of stuff in case I die, I am 49.
I just can't seem to part with things, there is something wrong with me!

Yes @Poodlelove I am just a few years older than you and am doing the same thing, starting with my paperwork which is in splendid order now, with a special box including information about savings, bills etc alongside my will and POA certificates, and passport and birth and marriage certificates, funeral instructions and a list of people to contact. I plan to update this info every year until I'm too doolally and hand over to my Attorneys.
With physical objects, I am also letting things go but feeling it is more important to have everything neatly sorted (not my usual MO) so that although there will be lots of things to remove from the house when I'm gone, it will be very clear where everything is and therefore relatively easy for folk to take what they want and give away the rest.
It feels very important and I'm not sure what triggered me doing it, except that some of my friends are exercising POA for parents or dealing with their estates, and having the most horrible time because everything is in a mess.

I’m not 50 yet and one of my happy place things to do is get rid of things at the recycling centre, charity shop, free on GumTree etc. A little bit of paperwork sorting.

I love things being clutter free and therefore tidier and cleaner. It’s much better for my stress levels.

I’m aware I attach very little/no sentiment value to ‘things’ whereas my other half does so it occasionally causes a mini tiff but we’ve figured it out.

I almost dread Christmas with all the stuff and packaging refilling the house!

there's nothing wrong with you, but you just need to get into the habit.

Useless "stuff", you need to get rid of.
Memories, you don't.

Imagine you are downsizing, would you keep everything?

Clothes are the easiest to start with. Anything damaged, wrong size, out of fashion, that you don't wear, sell give bin.

Kitchen bits, so many people have 50 mugs in a house of 2 people, why? Or people have 60 pairs of socks. How many feet do you expect you'll grow in the next couple of years?

Basically, you start with a drawer. Then another one. And you become more efficient at it, and you start to appreciate a tidy and clear space.

You can take digital photos of things you ideally would keep but take up too much space. Put in a looping digital photo frame if you must keep them in view.

I declutter when stressed. It's my way of asserting control over my house at times when other things are happening that I have no control over 🙂

Yes, I do this, too. I find it very therapeutic.

I also find it very reassuring that if I need something, I can put my hand on it instantly.

If you’re thinking about the whole house it’s totally overwhelming.

Start one drawer in one room first. Might take an hour if you’ve got one of ‘those’ drawers like me! Others will be quicker. Then over a week or two you’ve done a room.

Seriously don’t underestimate how long it takes (in my case anyway and I’m no hoarder). Sorting and then getting rid is a process.

So start small and keep it in a concentrated area so you feel you’re making progress ie. kitchen, bedroom, wherever. If you start Tasmanian Devil-like across the whole house you will get worn out, not visually make the same progress and stop (unless there are obviously big item quick wins).

Good luck.

also, make sure you have an exit scenario.

Ending up with bags of stuff you are getting rid of, but cluttering your house for months on end won't help anyone.