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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Massive decluttering of house , what's wrong with me?

76 replies

Poodlelove · 09/11/2025 20:21

Quick back story , ten years ago we had to clear a close relatives home , after they suddenly passed away.It took months .

I then began decluttering my own home so that our children didn't have this burden.They are all adults and have their own families.

Over the last few weeks I have been sorting out again , this time getting rid of big furniture that we are not using.
Getting rid of things that ten years ago I wouldn't part with .

I have got this feeling that I must do this and every time something has been collected via market place I feel so much better.

Today my husband said he was a little worried that he would come home and the sofa would be gone.

I am not yet 60 , I had a health scare in the January, but got the all clear , whilst recovering I couldn't do any housework , my husband did a good job but I got very frustrated that I couldn't do anything .

Has anyone else my age been through this ?

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
One2threecats · 09/11/2025 22:51

ThatChristmasMug · 09/11/2025 21:53

also, make sure you have an exit scenario.

Ending up with bags of stuff you are getting rid of, but cluttering your house for months on end won't help anyone.

Very much agree but exit scenario suggestions ?

RubySquid · 09/11/2025 22:56

One2threecats · 09/11/2025 22:51

Very much agree but exit scenario suggestions ?

Charity shops, giveaway pages, vinted, eBay, music magpie

JollyPotter · 09/11/2025 22:59

Yes to starting small; one room or cupboard at a time. Decluttering is very therapeutic.
Once you start, it’s gets easier to be ruthless.

ThatChristmasMug · 09/11/2025 23:00

One2threecats · 09/11/2025 22:51

Very much agree but exit scenario suggestions ?

decide if you want to sell things, where will you store them until they sell, how long you are keeping them

if you give to charity shop or other, when will you physically bring them there - if they even accept donations

that sort of things

ticktockitsNCtime · 09/11/2025 23:14

Sunshineandrainbow · 09/11/2025 21:24

I need some tips please.
I often feel I need to get rid of stuff in case I die, I am 49.
I just can't seem to part with things, there is something wrong with me!

If there are things you’d like to get rid of, but can’t quite bring yourself to, try packing the stuff away in boxes and storing out of sight. Revisit in six months or a year - obviously sooner if you want something from the box. Chances are, you won’t want any of it and will be happy to let it go after a trial separation period.

gmgnts · 09/11/2025 23:28

I answered an advert in a local paper for a decluttering service and it has been a game changer. The wonderful thing is that she comes - about once a month - and takes everything away when she goes. Her car is always packed with bags of my stuff for charity shops, whereas before I had this service I would pile up stacks of book or clothes in the house or even my car but never actually get rid of them - mainly because there are hardly any charity shops near us that have parking nearby and I can't haul heavy bags for long distances.

Lionsandtigersandbears7 · 10/11/2025 00:15

I'm 52 ,and I'm going the same way ,I've also recently had to declutter and sell a relatives home ..I don't want that for my kids

JulianClarysDog · 10/11/2025 00:27

Nothing wrong with you at all!
It’s so sensible to get on top of your stuff at this age while you’ve got your health and energy and are motivated to crack on. Lovely to be going into the next phase of your life all streamlined and clutter-free.
Good for you.

RedFlagsAllOver · 10/11/2025 00:32

I've been doing the same. A house full of crap gets me down. My dad passed away and my brother got rid of lots and it made me realised that stuff doesn't matter. It's just stuff.

WearyAuldWumman · 10/11/2025 00:38

Rosesanddaffs · 09/11/2025 20:25

I’m like this, I had a health scare earlier this year too and always feel like I’m decluttering and now moving onto things I wouldn’t have parted with a year ago.

I feel relief when unused stuff gets sold or donated and I haven’t missed anything I’ve got rid of.

For me it’s the new normal and I’ve stopped buying things I don’t need.

Same here.

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 10/11/2025 00:57

Rosesanddaffs · 09/11/2025 20:28

Also, tell your husband the sofa won’t be gone as you are using it 😂 you are only getting rid of things you don’t use

& look at him meaningfully when you say only unused/non useful things will be getting rid of! Then ask him what time he's starting dinner!!

🤣🤣

JFDIYOLO · 10/11/2025 01:09

Ho yes indeed. I love a good declutter but my partner is something of a hoarder. And a Womble for other people's discards. I dread walking down our street and finding a help yourself box of tut outside a neighbour's house.

I find asking questions Iike Do I love it? Is it useful - AND do I use it? Is it a thing of beauty and a joy forever? very helpful for deciding, then saying Thankyou for your service as I let it go is very satisfying.

HappiestSleeping · 10/11/2025 01:21

I'm mid fifties. Wife and mother in law both died recently. Mother in law unexpectedly. It's caused me to have a good look at all the junk I've been accumulating for projects I was going to do one day. I know that many will never happen now.

I've missed boot sales for this year, but come spring, I have boxes at the ready.

Mikart · 10/11/2025 05:48

I am like this. We downsized last year ( mid 60s) and I was in my element.
All my admin is in order...uptodate rather complex will ,POA, cremation wishes. Dh and Dd understand everything so there will be very little for them to do.
I declutter every month...I could tell you what is in every drawer, cupboard and wardrobe. There is nothing in the loft except 4 empty suitcases. Birthday and Xmas gifts are experiences or memberships/ subscriptions. We are just retired and have a full life travelling, gigs, theatre, hiking.
It gives me a feeling of calm to enter my lovely home...which isn't soulless... it has many unusual beautiful objects which give me joy.

HamptonCourtPrincess · 10/11/2025 05:58

I’m 53 now and on the verge of moving house (just waiting on a completion date). I’m downsizing from a 4 bed to a 3 bed and this is post divorce. Not sure why we bought a 4 bed as we didn’t actually use the 4th bedroom. Anyway, I am terrible for buying stuff that I don’t need (just because I like the look of it). I have been getting rid of loads of stuff. Bags and bags of stuff have gone to the charity shop. I have lost 2 siblings in the last 3 years and one of my closest friends died in January. It puts life into perspective. Hopefully, I will have a lot longer!!

I don’t want to leave my kids with a lot of stuff but I’ve also started to realise how much easier it is to live a more minimalist life. Do I really need 30 Emma Bridgewater mugs, 15 travel mugs and 17 winter coats? Nooo! I need to ditch a lot!

I’ve started to go away a bit more for experiences - I’ve just booked a week in Rome (1st time). I am gradually declutterring and it feels good. I think people get carried away with owning more stuff but I’m certainly better off for not buying stuff all the time! It’s an eye opener when you look at the money I have wasted!!

vjg13 · 10/11/2025 06:04

Emptying a close relative’s house recently and getting rid of everything was a very overwhelming experience for me and I do want to start decluttering with this house. I have read the Swedish death clearing book and found it very helpful.

DemonsandMosquitoes · 10/11/2025 07:44

We cleared PIL house last summer. It took four of us every weekend six months involving several skips. I am pretty clutter free anyway but have already started pulling things out and throwing away. DH and I retire next year, and although only 55 plan to blitz every room and every cupboard, attic and garage.
I will not do to my DC what PIL did to theirs. It left a very bitter legacy.

TheOccupier · 10/11/2025 13:33

RubySquid · 09/11/2025 20:41

Where does it say she's getting rid of things she needs?

I have got this feeling that I must do this and every time something has been collected via market place I feel so much better.
Today my husband said he was a little worried that he would come home and the sofa would be gone.

Sounds a bit extreme!

Ihateslugs · 10/11/2025 13:40

I am quite good at declutterring and regularly get rid of stuff I don’t need. However, I then fill up the space buying new gadgets that I don’t really need but convince myself that they are the best thing since sliced bread! I’ve currently got a few items on my list ready to buy in the pre Christmas sales!

NearlyDec · 10/11/2025 13:40

Barney16 · 09/11/2025 21:44

I declutter when stressed. It's my way of asserting control over my house at times when other things are happening that I have no control over 🙂

Me too.

Decluttering and looking up holidays is always a warning sign that I need to look carefully at my stress levels.

@Sunshineandrainbow if you want to keep stuff then do. When PIL die we will be getting a house clearance company. There is no way I am wading my way through receipts from B and Bs they went to in the early 90s. If the stuff is useful or beautiful and you want to keep it then do.

notacooldad · 15/11/2025 13:31

My mum was always a big declutterer and I once tried to explain to her that we’d like something left- there’s very little left in the house and it feels cold.
My mums like this. I tell her the house feels like a cave and it echos when we talk!

ButtonMushrooms · 15/11/2025 13:34

My mum is like this. My parents' home is very minimalist, not much "stuff" at all. She's always been this way and when I was young and living at home I can remember a few upsetting occasions when she threw out something I wanted to keep. However I do appreciate the thought that clearing their house will be very straightforward when the time comes!

Liondoesntsleepatnight · 15/11/2025 14:00

It needs to continual rather than a big job. I’m off work at the moment and having a wardrobe sort out, next week kitchen cupboards, then over Christmas sort books

AgentPidge · 15/11/2025 14:34

I envy you. I find it hard to get rid of stuff I like, or that someone special has bought me. I hate to think I might need things. I nearly threw out a white blouse I don't like, but shoved it under the bed instead, and I did wear it later to a funeral and DD admired it, so it's gone back in the wardrobe.

EuclidianGeometryFan · 15/11/2025 14:54

Marie Kondo says specifically not to declutter by room, or drawer, or cupboard.
Instead, do it by category of item.

e.g. coats and jackets - there may be some in a wardrobe, some hung by the front door, one by the back door, one in the other wardrobe, etc.
Gather them all up into one place, e.g. put them all on a bed. Then choose which ones to keep.
Put the rest into piles for A) black bin B) recycle bin C) charity D) sell.
Put the piles in the relevant place (correct bin, or bag up to take out of the house).
Then put away / put back the coats you are keeping.

But beware of the 'sell' pile. Do you really need the money? Is the item genuinely valuable? Is it worth your time to faff about selling it? Would it be better to just chuck it in the charity shop pile?
Then make sure the charity pile gets dealt with - put it in a bag by the front door or in your car.

Other categories might be all your cooking utensils, all your plates, all your bits of stationery (pens, blank paper, hole punchers, staplers), all your electrical leads and unused electrical equipment, all your jewellery, all your face creams, all your make-up, all your handbags, all your luggage bags & suitcases, etc.

Categories should be small. "Books" can be a too-big category for many people, so gather up all your novels (break it down into read and unread if you need to), then another day do cookery books, or reference books, history books, hobby books, children's books, etc.
'Kitchen stuff' is too big a category, so do pans one day, oven dishes another, cutlery another, etc.

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