Would you walk through a pitch dark park/nature reserve with your dh ?

[Thatsmellsgood]

Firstly, I was always brought up being told not to walk alone in isolated places, if I’m going to walk alone to stick to well lit/ busier streets. Logic was that you’re less likely to be attacked. Some people might disagree but it’s ingrained in me. Even now in my 40s my mum and dad will worry if they know I’ve been for a run along the cycle paths even in the day. My parents are very cautious people.

Dh is totally different, no fear or sense of danger, his parents are the total opposite they literally leave all their doors unlocked and their car unlocked. Used to leave dh and his sister in the holiday apartments while they went out drinking, they just don’t see risk in anything. Only saying this just to show they have no fear of risk.

We grew up in totally different places so that’s probably why.

Anyway on to my point, dh and I walk
a lot together, through the park or the woods. In the winter with the dark nights I’m more comfortable sticking to the residential streets. Dh thinks I’m being silly but goes with it. His logic is that you’re more likely to encounter danger in the street than up an isolated cycle path or in the park because there’ll be no one in the park at night.

I do see his logic, but my logic is that if there was an attacker of some sorts, the park is very isolated.

Dh is half deaf with bad knees so I don’t think he’d be much protection 🤣 we don’t live in a terrible place but we are in an area of fairly high crime not a lovely village

Yabu - it’s fine
Yanbu - it’s a bit dodgy

Looking at it logically, if you wanted to attack someone (specifically someone random/a woman) you’d be far more likely to find one in a busier area like a high st, train station, leaving a pub and THEN follow them to a more quiet/isolated location to carry out an attack. Hanging around at a location that people generally wouldn’t frequent alone on the off chance that someone might come along wouldn’t be very effective.

I mean it’s not outwith the realms of possibility of course but they’d either have to be a bit stupid to camp out for hours on the off chance someone might come along, or really really determined in their method.

I walk through a dark park by myself every evening. YABU

I’d be more concerned about your husband’s dodgy knee giving out if you’re in the middle of nowhere and it’s pitch black, it would be really difficult to get help

Thank you for the replies so far.

I would like to throw caution to the wind and take my torch, but I can’t shake the feeling of danger.

I’m interested though, those who think it’s fine. Do you live in small towns/rurally?

We are in a major city.

I've done this alone with DDog many times at stupid o'clock when he's not been feeling well

It depends on your perception of risk/previous experiences

I was the victim of an armed robbery in my local shop by two men in balaclavas who had guns. I dont live in a rough area either.

We have woods behind our house and I feel much safer there than in populated areas at night.

I think YANBU, in a city park at night it doesn't really make any difference if you're with DH, the main danger is probably groups of youths.
If they start hassling you it would be a bad idea to fight back, as it only takes one knife for stuff to go south very quickly.

I mean it’s not outwith the realms of possibility of course but they’d either have to be a bit stupid to camp out for hours on the off chance someone might come along, or really really determined in their method

These are my thoughts too! If you wanted to attack someone, you'd go to where people are. You wouldnt wait for hours and hours in the dark hoping someone might take the risk of walking home that way alone. You'd be waiting a very long time.

Yes, i would. I quite often walk back across the park with a friend in the dark if we have been out for a drink. I wouldn't on my own (we're in London).

I would in a rural area on my own.

Yes and I do get that too. Sorry to hear that happened

I have probably been in more danger and had negative experiences from someone I know or on public transport than in a park. Which is dhs logic. More people = more danger.

If I couldn’t walk in the dark in the woods, I’d never get out of my home after sunset! Totally pitch black round here, no lighting, very rural. Just avoid the dogging car parks. Which, ironically, are the best lit places in the area.

I took a shortcut home with my friend last night through a cemetery in her area. But having lived by 2 cemeteries they also don’t scare me.

See I actually think that this is probably more my fear than happening to come across a lone attacker.

Depends where you live I guess too.
A park in the middle of the city - no

A park near my sleepy village - I happily walk in it alone.

There's risks everywhere.

The only time I was actually in real danger was when I lived in a block of (nice) flats and some fucking idiot buzzed a random through without checking and this person was high on drugs and already bleeding from trying to get through a woman's french windows. I was coming down to see who was buzzing the door and thankfully managed to get into my door and bolt it before he got to me. The police caught him with sniffer dogs and told me he was dangerous and I had had a lucky escape.

Thank you.

Actually the only thing that does freak me out about the woods are the sounds!! It's unbelievable the sounds you hear when you live in the country. We hear all kinds of weird noises from various animals/birds. Sometimes its like being in the jungle, you think what kind of animal is making that screeching/wailing noise?

No, as a woman I would not walk alone in park or countryside at night, and nor would the majority of women I know, so I am not sure why OP is being almost ridiculed for her weakness by some on here.

Though actually a male friend had a go at me about this recently, and I just thought, check your male privilege! He was pointing out that it would be an opportunitstic rapist who hung out in our local park hoping a lone woman came in at night - but actually I don't think so. There are some people who go to the park to use substances, and a predator might well know that and be hopeful of preying on such people, and other vulnerable women who might frequent the park (homeless etc).

And anyway, even if statistically ery unlikely, the cost of being attacked is too great to risk it. It fucks me off that we live in a world where men can safely do this, and women can't.

And yes, I would go in the park or countryside with a male friend after dark, and have done on numerous occasions. Much less likely to be attacked if there are two of you, and unfortunately most men are physically much stronger than me - I am quite small. I'd also go in a group of women - but maybe not a pair.....

I think it depends on your experiences, I grew up in a then rough part of London & there were places you just didn't go after dark so I wouldn't go alone. DH grew up in even rougher part so he is fairly cautious too.

I don't have a husband or partner, but I do take the dog and the child out in the dark winter mornings into the park. We have to walk down an unlit path to get to it so we take a torch.

that's funny... I see the "gangs of youths" as my protectors in my nearest park.
The youth are mostly there for the skatepark. Big social venue for them. Must have been 80+ there on Halloween night.

If I screamed my head off from a dark corner of the park because some creep tried to grab or hurt me, the kids would come running, just to see what's up.

The brave ones would get directly involved, the shy ones would phone police, the mouthy ones would tell my attacker off and film us.

Definitely prefer park with them than without.

Predators usually work alone.

Ps: I now live in small city; grew up in big scary city, have lived in other towns too.

I live right in the centre of a small city. Avoiding the park would be a long detour home for me.

Wasn’t going to comment but seeing all the ones invalidating your OP concerns, I thought I would comment. I totally agree with you. And my husband could fight back, in fact he’d possibly mortally injure them. Which in a way makes me feel protected but also it’s unnecessary. And what if there is a gang / knives etc.

I don’t walk the dogs on my own in fields either.

Not worth the risk imo.

we are in an area of fairly high crime

In that case, I'd prefer to walk through a park or woods than the streets.

No, as a woman I would not walk alone in park or countryside at night, and nor would the majority of women I know, so I am not sure why OP is being almost ridiculed for her weakness by some on here.

She is talking about not even wanting to do it with her husband though. Yes, I would be fine to do this. I would probably take a torch though to stop tripping over tree roots!

I regularly walk through woodland, parks, fields and general areas on my own at night, usually with headphones in or watching something on my phone, might as well wear a sign on my head that says perfect target.

The only danger I’ve ever faced was an angry Swift

I find the countryside scarier than the city tbh. I don't like the isolation if you live far from neighbours or walk in an empty dark forest.

I would hate to live in an isolated house near a road, all the motorists know you are there if you have your lights on. I would feel really vulnerable.

If he has bad knees, he's stupid to walk anywhere in the pitch dark (even with a torch). Even a small stumble could take him out. Good luck with the twisted ankles!

I think it’s fine to not want to do things that make you feel uncomfortable when there’s a clear alternative and it’s not preventing you from doing something.