To think parents expect too much of schools?

[Arbel]

We all know state schools are desperately underfunded, with big class sizes and kids with English as a second language and unmet SEN needs lumped into mainstream.

I have a son in year 2 and a daughter in year 5. Last night on the year 2 WhatsApp, several mums were bemoaning the fact that their kids don’t know the days of the week in order, can’t spell their own middle names and have illegible handwriting. Surely as parents, you care enough to educate your own kids on such basic matters?!

I read to both of mine every day. And their dad did. They often saw me reading. We had weekly library trips. One my dc will and does read. One of my dc has read 2 whole books in 14 years. Not sure where I've gone wrong with that one. Mind you, I don't think they've ever watched an entire film either.

Again in secondary it’s not unusual for parents to think school should get involved with issues at home and sort them out for them. Or they have totally checked out and are just not interested, they usually have small children from new relationships as well and have lost interest in the older ones.

Yes my school is commonly asked to sort out stuff that’s happened on social media outside of school.
Or the parents let their teens have an unsupervised party at home and then the school has to get involved in the inevitable fallout 🙄

I work in a primary school and I would say only about a fifth of DCs read their reading or library books at home. Parents don’t seem to see this as their job. I remember one parent of a year one child coming to me and complaining she couldn’t get her child to read. I gave her lots of suggestions and she batted them all away. The main problem seemed to be the child had activities straight after school every single day. The mum just couldn’t grasp reading should be a priority, especially if the child is struggling. Our school has signed up to a website to help children struggling with literacy. The same mum came up to my colleague and said she couldn’t log on on her tablet and could my colleague help! Bearing in mind, she’s had the log on details for half a term and has only just bothered to log on last week.

My SIL once had a parent email her because the children had gone to a birthday party (at the weekend) and had behaved badly. The parent wanted to know what she (the class teacher) was doing about behaviour at out-of-school parties. Answer: Nothing! This is on your watch

People that lazy shouldn’t be parents.

In fairness, I remember a poster (years ago) putting up a thread because she was annoyed that her child was behind lots of the other children. Her child was doing fine but the other parents had done lots of extra reading with their children and the poster said they were being “pushy”. She said that it shouldn’t be her job to move her child up the reading levels and was outraged when I suggested that she get some books to go through with her child.

That is not an untypical story! We quite often get parents complaining that they can’t log on to the various educational websites we subscribe to. I know some people are skeptical about using computers for things like literacy and maths but honestly there’s some really good stuff out there. There doesn’t seem to be any issues with the children accessing Youtube, just anything educational.

DS1 struggled with personal reading when he was at school. The expectation was that he should read fiction, but that really doesn't float his boat. He much prefers non-fiction and is an avid reader. He has a huge book collection and will read in preference to watching TV.

The others have been happy with fiction.

Yep - usually some TikTok spat at 3am.

As a teacher I'm still shocked by how many children don't know their addresses, parents' phone numbers, or sometimes even their own birthdays. So bizarre.

I don't see it as my job to teach any of those things. The parents should actually parent.

I teach in KS1. Our curriculum is vast. It isn't part of the curriculum to teach a child their middle name (or even surname). We do teach days of the week in y1 but if a child is absent the week it is taught, they'd potentially not learn it. However, it is easy to teach- sing it every day for a week and it will sink in.
Schools teach so many skills but they do need to be practised regularly if they're to be remembered! That is where homework and discussion comes in.

https://foundationyears.org.uk/files/2021/09/What-to-expect-in-the-EYFS-complete-FINAL-16.09-compressed.pdf

this guide tells you what sort of things children should be doing by age

Im always amazed at the number of children who dont know their birthdays.

Depends on whether their teacher taught them! I do, because it’s (arguably) why they have to label the axes. If they don’t at secondary or higher level it’s possible to lose a mark in an exam, depending on the mark scheme.

Three dimensional coordinates come in and out of GCSE specifications. They aren’t usually there, but I have taught it at that level.

Ahhhh, this post is a breath of fresh air.

You are 100% right. Parents hold teach their children their names and how to spell them, their birthdays (so many don't have a clue!) Days of the week (this is baby group stuff!) And months.

It's unbelievable how many parents never bothered to sing nursery rhymes with their children, then blame schools for speech and language problems. So many didn't bother taking them to play with other children to build basic skills (before anyone moans, I worked full time when mine were little, but I made the effort, as so many parents still do, so it IS possible).

I'd your kid's handwriting is bad, get some handwriting books (you can find some in charity shops for about 20p).

In a nutshell, it's the lazy parents that moan. Everyone else gets off their &#&@* and makes an effort. No one said it was easy.

Me too. There were 47 children in the A stream and five streams. Each morning those of us in A stream top set could go to CD or E and help the children learn to read and do sums. I loved this and as a consequence perhaps neglected my own learning. Or maybe those children who learned more slowly were motivated to be more successful. Quite a large number of them have large businesses and lifestyles I could only dream of. Not so many of the A stream were so successful in life.

Parents really need to be taking responsibility for these basics.

I work in a junior school and I’m still surprised at the lack of basic knowledge some children have.
Some don’t know their address (this was asked by the nurses performing the flu sprays the other week to verify identity.)
I asked a Y3 child their surname so I could fill out a first aid slip for them and they had no idea what it was or even what a surname was 🤦🏼‍♀️

Exactly. What are those parents actually doing with their kids?

@RichardGeresTie but the use of surname is becoming vanishingly rare. Just take a look at the feminism boards. It is usually referred to as last name or family name nowadays.

100%

I'm a secondary teacher and I've seen there's a marked increase in a lack of really basic general knowledge - knowing the countries of the UK, capital cities, the name of the county they live in, neighbouring counties, for example. It's as if they are just 'living', randomly, without really knowing where they are or what they a part of. Bit mind boggling, really.

And certainly telling the time, which I think may be a lost art soon. I suspect lots of families don't have clocks on the wall at home anymore.

I could get into all sorts, but these are the two things that I find most disheartening, I suppose.

I used the phrases surname, second name and family name and he still had no clue.
I used my name as an example. Fortunately a staff member walked past and I could get his surname from them.

And now they're adding financial education to the curriculum. Pretty soon parents will be unnecessary.

I think the national curriculum and statutory guidance expects too much of schools, and that this combined with erosion of responsibility on parents to teach and expectations on children is making the state of education ever messier. I agree that days of the week and practicing penmanship are things that should be supported at home well before Year 2.

There is just too much in the curriculum too early, much of it little more than dick waving with other countries as to who can teach what sooner, on top of all the non-education needs schools are doing to the point a lot of foundational skills aren't getting the time and support that many kids need, crumbling everything else.

I do also understand some parents with little experience of the education system as parents or having experience of other education systems may find it confusing at times when schools put out policies or communication to parents saying X is going to be taught and it's not to the level they're expecting or it gets missed because things come up. I'm not sure the best way to help manage that when a lot of it comes back to the curriculum being too full - for example, I know in some secondaries, the maths curriculum has to be pushed back so they can cover things previous posters mentioned like telling time because primary maths has gotten too full; and I know some where they have great letters on what will be covered in PSHE and policies on RSE detailing topics that it's well known within the school isn't being followed as those subjects get more stuff in them all the time and the time from those subjects is often being used for mock/exam prep and other activities. Some of it should be supported and/or taught by parents - but those gaps and things parents from looking at letters sent home, website and policies may think are covered but aren't don't tend to get communicated to parents unless it becomes an exam issue.

We need a more realistic curriculum, which is difficult when it seems the push is to move as much to schools as possible because some parents won't - I think that low expectation, even though some parents will always meet it - has not helped anything for schools, families, or the children.