She's dying isn't she?

[McSteamyorMcdreamy]

Mum discharged herself from hospital today.

Hiatus hernia. She can't eat or drink anything. Literally throws it straight back up.

Can't walk because her lower back is buggered.

UTI in blood. Been given antibiotics but nothing seems to be giving her a boost.

Sat in a sodding chair for 36 hours at A&E. Not slept for at least 48. Said she just wanted to go home.

I'm really scared 😭

MNHQ EDIT to gently suggest that MNers new to this thread take the time to read through all of the OP's posts before answering

I have had my first alcoholic beverage this evening in over 2 weeks. First, but quite a few (Sherry, which was her favourite tipple). My landlord actually went out and got a bottle especially and didn't charge me for anything.

I thought I would crash and be knackered, but sitting here with a glass of cab sav replying to all the messages I have received today and don't want to go to bed yet. Dds and DH in bed, but enjoying talking to people about her. Not sure I'm going to sleep well this evening as head is in a tails spun. Does that sound weird?

I know I have already thanked you all but you guys have been the most wonderful support over the last couple of weeks.

Seems an age ago that I laid on my sofa late at night posting the original message upset and scared......

Amazing what can happen in 2 weeks eh?!

I am so sorry for your the loss of your Mum. My Mum died aged 61 and that was also very sudden and such a shock. I was desperate for a drink, but couldn't as I was seven months pregnant with my son. I think the shock lasts for longer when it happens like this, you don't expect to lose a parent so young so have never contemplated life without them. Look after yourself, I hope your husband is loving and supportive xx

Sending hugs and a glass of wine<clink>
Here’s to your mum 🍷

Im so sorry OP x

Op, It isn’t weird. Your head will be all over the place. You will be fine one minute, then the next it will hit you again.
It was lovely of your landlord to buy you some wine, that kindness is lovely and thoughtful.
Hopefully your family, friends and even strangers will be kind and thoughtful as you go from day to day.
It is so hard, when you lose someone so special. Taking about your mum, and sharing memories will keep her alive forever.
Take care of yourself, go from day to day, nothing is right or wrong, you will find your way. 🌺

Much love to you OP
I’ve still got my Mum but lost my Dad 5 years ago - I still miss him so much but can now enjoy the memories
Its a very difficult time when newly bereaved - follow your gut instincts as to what is right for you and seek help if you need to x

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum, it’s heartbreaking what has happened, sending lots of love x

I’m so sorry, there’s a lot of love and support here for you.

Sorry for your loss 💐 It's been sudden and traumatic for you. If you feel like you might need it in due course, ask your GP to make a referral for bereavement counselling.

I hope you have lots of support in real life too. Take care of yourself.

Sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry for your loss and can only imagine how you are feeling. I lost my Mum in very similar circumstances just over 3 years ago. It still feels a bit unreal.

So sorry for your loss 💔

So sorry for such a huge loss @McSteamyorMcdreamy sending you hugs.

May she rest in peace and rise in glory.

So so sorry OP

Been told the official cause of death today:

Metastatic oesophageal carcinoma.

She was discharged following an endoscopy 3 weeks ago. Report says Omeprozol in liquid form as she's struggling to swallow tablets. Back to GP for follow-up. No sign of cancer.

What the actual?!!!!

So they missed it? Omg that's horrendous 😢

I am so sorry. It was good that you were all there.

I am so sorry for your loss and this awful news that the staff did not see the cancer. I know it might not seem it, but perhaps it is a blessing they don’t see it and start treatment. The treatment can make people has even lower quality of life. My Mum was in a similar position with liver cancer which was metastasic. She died 3 weeks after finding it. It was terrible for her to go through but at least she didn’t have prolonged suffering.

I know that many early oesophageal cancers in patients with Barret's oesophagus are missed but at stage 4 in any patient you'd anticipate some trouble getting the scope down there, even if the patient had had a stent surgically placed in their oesophagus. My mind is boggling.

I'm so very sorry that you're faced with all this on top of your bereavement. If you decide that you want more information from the hospital or choose to formally complain about any aspect of her care, try to get some specialist legal advice first. PALS is a fobbing-off service but you have to go through it & it's best to have all your ducks in a row before you start.

Edited for a missing word

So very sorry for your loss @McSteamyorMcdreamy Sending love and strength to you and your family ❤️ x

Seriously lodge some sort of complaint.

I'm so sorry

I am so very sorry OP.
Please find the strength to lodge a formal complaint as your mother's treatment was appalling on so many levels. IMO a full investigation is warranted

I'm so sorry OP, it's horrendous after what you've already been through. I wonder if there's been a mix up with reports as ca oesophagus should have been so obvious on endoscopy.

An old research study shows around a 6% miss rate for endoscopy. In your place I would want, so ask for, an investigation. Lodging a complaint is one way to ensure that.

Unfortunately at that stage the treatment would have been palliative. She might have an easier few weeks but she'd have known she was dying.

I know this isn’t the time you want to have to deal with all this but having lost my mother to cancer I’d definitely take that report further.