Is this too long a commute?

[rememberitalltoowell]

1.45 hours each way, 3 hours a day - 10 minute drive to train station, hour train, 20 minute walk. Would be out the house 6.30am - 6.30pm ish.

Two days a week

I have two young kids, nursery and reception.

I've worked remotely the last few years so a bit worried about doing this and the knock on affect of the long days on the kids.

I think it’s fine for 2 days if the other parent is fully available for pick ups and drop offs and dealing with illness.

Depends, leaving a cushy WFH job to do it, maybe not. Doing it instead of unemployment, definitely would

Are you reasonably likely to get a seat on the train? If so, you'll probably enjoy having that time to relax without constantly dealing with the demands of small children.

If you’ve got a decent partner and they’ll be WFH on your office days I would- no stress about delays and missing pick up.

It also depends what your options are. I’m in the Home Counties and a lot of people do that type of commute two days a week.

I do similar days. When my children were younger it’s not so easy but it has become part of our routine. So for me I am out of the house at 7am and back at 6.45. Sometimes 4 days a week. What will happen though is at 6.30 you will walk through the door to tired to join bedtime with two tired children.

we found a balance in our house - I miss bedtime a couple of days a week which means when you are home from the commute - you can just take that time to decompress before doing anything.

how likely is the company to move to 4 days a week? I was 2 days a week 2 years ago and now enforced 4 days a week and it’s tough

I would say work drinks can be a bit tricky. My workmates go out quite a bit and we have Xmas dos and awards and things and I always need to be keeping an eye on the.clock and the train updates because if I miss the 11.30 then all trains stop and I'm in central London for the night! Which means either paying out £300 on a horrible hotel or sleeping at my desk and hoping the cleaner doesn't notice.

I have a 2.5 hour round trip commute that I do a couple of times a month, the most I would do is once a week. My kids are high school age though. Depends how available your partner is really, mine works away in the week.

Oh yes and I only go in 10-4 so it’s not that long of a day really. I still find it knackering mind!

A lot of emergency workers, control room staff, carers, ward support staff work four 12 hour shifts a week plus commute and often leave late and also have children. So it’s not unusual.

Edit for typos.

Two days a week would be fine, I do 13.5 hour shifts semi regularly and have had jobs with 4 hour round trip commutes, and it’s is a pain but not particularly tiring. You can doze on the train, eat breakfast, read a book etc.

Your DP would need to step up on those days and cook dinner etc though - it wouldn’t be fair for you to get in and immediately have to pick up all of the chores and childcare.

Yep plenty of people commute from Brighton to London (for example) 5 days per week. This is probably a shorter commute than they have.

I do this 2 days a week and have done for 4 years. You do get used to it. My husband is at home on those days and my kids were older than yours when I started (10 and 12) so no sleep issues etc. I did it for a while 3 days a week when my oldest was around 18months and that was tough!

I quite like the down time of the train journey to read a book, listen to music etc. I also commute into a busy city from quite a rural location and like the buzz. I sit and have lunch by a landmark and soak up the vibes. You have to try and embrace the positives!

I think it would be ok for 2 days a week if your partner was home. You would need to make sure your days in office are watertight as that wouldn't be sustainable 5 days.

Mine is 1hr 15 mins each way, 3 days a week. I used to do a slightly longer commute 5 days a week, pre-Covid and pre-DD. We manage, DD is in reception and she does 8am breakfast club to 6pm after school club on those days. I quite enjoy the 45mins of peace on the train

Do you get to chose the days? If so you could do two days together and stay in a B and B or hotel for the night in between.

Also what are the trins like, if it is standing room only that's not very helpful, if you can get a seat and read / work then it is less stressful.

Do you get to chose the days? If so you could do two days together and stay in a B and B or hotel for the night in between.

Also what are the trins like, if it is standing room only that's not very helpful, if you can get a seat and read / work then it is less stressful.

Will you be unemployed if you don’t do it?
Will you get a seat on the train?
Will it only be 2 days a week?
can your OH step up on those days and be totally in charge at home (everything / the whole mental load - packed lunches, dinner, school uniforms, laundry, school notices, bake sales, PE kit etc?)

it is do’able but don’t get home in time for bedtime on those 2 days as that could be a disaster. Tired parents and tired kids is not fun!

2 days a week only, then maybe, if the train journey was a good one, with a guaranteed seat. If you have small children, an hour to yourself to read or chill can be very welcome.
However, I'd talk to other people using that train service - is it reliable? For example, I had a friend commuting in from Colchester to London, and on paper the commute was doable, but in practice she often wouldn't be home to 8pm due to cancellations and delays. The whole journey, including hanging about at the station getting increasingly frustrated, often took twice as long as the advertised train trip.

I leave at 4/4:30 and walk though the door at 6/6:30. Having an evening at home makes a difference to me. If I’m home at 7:30 I make dinner then think it’s nearly bed time!

I did 1.5 hours each way for a while. It was a total killer. I was exhausted more because of the commute than the actual job. I wouldn’t do it again.

This is the kind of timings I'm hoping for. Do you have young kids?

I used to do long distance travel (2.5hrs a day/3 days) to work for over a year, the exhaustion slowly crept in mainly due to being diagnosed with over-active thyroid and I started hating the job because I was exhausted all the time, eventually decided i can't do it anymore. My thyroid is under control now and I still won't try long distance again.

I do 1.5hrs to work each way, 3 days a week. Combination of bus, train, tube. It doesn’t bother me at all, and in fact I can appreciate the downtime. I’ve been doing it for 7 years. Though I’m only out the house 7:30-6:10.

Each to their own.

I have 8yr old twins.

I wouldn't.

It sounds exhausting and you also need to consider the fact that trains are not always reliable.

If it was once a week maybe.

Also you have to remember that employers can change hybrid arrangements so you might end up being asked to travel more often in the future.

Slightly different but I work compressed hours 4 days per week and most weeks 1-2 days I am on site visits which can be 6.30am (or earlier) start and home 6-7pm. Usually driving, occasionally a train journey. Sometimes it is an overnight too, I've just finished a 5 month project where I was doing 1-2 days pw in an office 3 hrs away from home (driving). I did 1 day 1st week, 2 consecutive days with an overnight the 2nd week.

I agree with a PP, it gives you the chance to be 100% at work in the way you were pre kids and I actually quite like it. I plan these days around DPs shifts so she is home for the children and then I don't need to worry about them.

It does mean the house gets neglected on those days, which is part of the reason I do 4 days compressed hours so I can use the 5th day to get on top of life.