Is this too long a commute?

[rememberitalltoowell]

1.45 hours each way, 3 hours a day - 10 minute drive to train station, hour train, 20 minute walk. Would be out the house 6.30am - 6.30pm ish.

Two days a week

I have two young kids, nursery and reception.

I've worked remotely the last few years so a bit worried about doing this and the knock on affect of the long days on the kids.

I do similar 2 days a week. Out of the house 7.15 until 7-7.30 depending on trains. It’s fine. I wouldn’t do any more than this but I enjoy the job and the money is decent so it’s worth it and much better to do this 2 x a week and 2 days WFH than when I had a 30-40 min commute 4 x a week!

Did almost that for a few years (1:45 to work, back was nearer 1:30) and it got to me after a while. That was full time though, I think I could do 2 days ok.

I always look at total commuting time per week, 6 hours a week is ok, whether that's 35 mins each way per day or 3 hours on 2 days.

This thought had crossed my mind!

I'll be wfh the rest of the time. But going from fully remote so the v early starts are scaring me!

I mean not by MN standards!

It literally says 2 days a week in the OP

I do a 3 hour round trip once a week and it's tiring and I don't have kids. But I drive, train would be less tiring.

Depends on more details.

I am about to end my London commuting days. I do one day a week and it’s 2 hours 15 door to door. But the trains are bad. Often it takes longer. I couldn’t do it more than once a week which is what I have been doing, and I’ve still had enough of it.

Swapping for one day in a fortnight, 50 min drive away.

I mean I'm sure it won't be much fun, but I'm thinking I can just suck it up for 2 days a week? That's still 5 days a week I don't have to leave my house if I don't want to!

Yeah I'm worried about the trains being messed up and making a long day so much longer.

I remember how stressed I used to be commuting to London pre kids.

But also, unemployment is stressful 😑

That's similar to what I do. I work condensed hours to make the most of those long days. Its manageable, I always get a seat on the train so can work, read, etc. I work shorter days the other 2 days so I do school run then. Id go for it if its a good job.

It would be too long for me personally, especially with young kids and especially because I’m assuming it’s 6:30-6:30 if absolutely everything runs totally smoothly which is shockingly unusual at least where we are. One missed train, delayed train/cancelled train could turn that 6:30-6:30 into 6:30-8:30 pretty quickly.

If you have a good podcast or music to listen to, then go for it and embrace the commute!

Millions of people living in the surrounds of London do similar. 5 days a week is unfathomable to me now post-Covid, and I absolutely wouldn’t be comfortable doing that at all if I was a lone parent (would want one parent local to the kids for emergencies). But I know many people who do that commute a couple of days a week.

I did similar, on a train at 6.50 a.m. home around 8.00 p.m.

But I was single, in my 20s, and child free. I bought breakfast on the walk to the office, ate a hot lunch in the canteen, and didn't bother with anything more exciting than toast in the evening.

But doing it with children? No, I personally couldn't have made that work for me.

If the family income stretches to a live-in nanny, then that would be different.

It's doable, if you really have to, but if there are other options, I'd feel this was too much. I used to commute 2hours each way, 5 days a week. I did it for a year (pre-kids) and would never do it again. I'd also think about where your kids will go to nursery/school and whether there's someone else who can reliably pick them up if they need to go home early or your train is delayed/cancelled.

Loads of people work 12 hour shifts (me included), and they're not sitting down reading for a few hours during it. And then they have a commute at each end

It's no big deal but if you don't want to to do it, don't.

That is pretty much my commute into London 3-4 days a week.
I don't really mind it at all apart from when the trains are cancelled.
I wouldn't have done it with nursery/primary age children though.

I think I'd do it if I had a supportive partner who'd look after the kids.

I used to do a job where the shift pattern was 13.5hourx 7 days shifts. Not every week but some weeks. I don't think I could have done it if my partner hadn't taken responsibility for kids and house during those weeks.

2 long days doesn't sound so bad.

For two days a week, I think it’s ok. My daughter had a much longer journey to work when she was living with us last year, and she really enjoyed the long train journey. She left home to catch the first bus at about 5 am, had a two hour train journey, and then a bus to the office. She was homw at about 8.30. It was tiring for her, she felt it was worth it for the job that she wanted.

when it’s broken down in to 10 minute drive, 1 hour train and 20 minute walk x 2 it doesn’t seem so bad.

However when you say 1.45 hour each way it seems so long!
is it a great job OP? Factoring in the additional things such as train fares/parking/the travel time etc?

Way too much particularly with commitments

No. If there was an emergency at school, what would happen?

I currently do this although my kids are older primary and secondary aged so a slightly different phase of life. Two days a week works absolutely fine for me; but it's a really good job that I am really motivated to stay in and I also have a very hands on involved DH. I would say it is doable with a supportive partner and also flexibility in terms of WFH in an emergency.

I wouldn't do it. My current commute is 50 mins to about an hour and 15 depending on traffic and that's about my limit, it's exhausting.

Although I think I'd find it easier if I was going by train rather than driving, at least then you can read or doze.