Is this too long a commute?

[rememberitalltoowell]

1.45 hours each way, 3 hours a day - 10 minute drive to train station, hour train, 20 minute walk. Would be out the house 6.30am - 6.30pm ish.

Two days a week

I have two young kids, nursery and reception.

I've worked remotely the last few years so a bit worried about doing this and the knock on affect of the long days on the kids.

Would you get a seat on the train? That’s a pretty important consideration I think.

I do 20 mins walk to station, hour train ride, 20 mins tube and walk to work. I do that 1-2 days a week. Some weeks I might have to do 3 or 4 days.

It's fine. I listen to audiobooks on the walking bits and work on the long train journey. It's my only bit of 'me' time so I quite enjoy it.

The biggest issue is batch cooking all weekend to cover the evening meals (otherwise dh will just order takeaway for dc) and I try to time my return for after dc have gone to bed otherwise I walk through the door straight into homework. teeth brushing, stories, baths etc. which is exhausting if I've left at 5:30 am and worked all day.

Yes - I cook double amounts on the nights before I commute so it is just a case of reheating on those evenings. DH is ferrying DCs to clubs etc. so no time to so substantial cooking. As long as you are on it with planning it works. My DCs have hot lunches at school so less pressure to make a big meal for them in the evenings.

Yeah, 2 days a week that’s fine!!…with the caveat IF it’s a job you want. I thought you were going to say 1.45 each way driving and thought it’s doable if you like & want the job (I used to often drive 4+ hours a day but I wasn’t doing manual labour/anything physically strenuous so it was doable😆!). If it’s career progressing do it!

I do this exact commute twice a week and it’s fine! Meal prep and prep kids stuff the night before. And if you can space the days out!

If you get a seat on the train that's absolutely fine. Totally different to a driving commute.

For the right job I definitely would probably up to 3 days a week. If you have a seat on the train it’s not like you’re on the job for the full 3 hours

Also is there anyway you can quicken the 20min walk leg e.g. bus or fold up bike

What sort of work do you do? Do you have flexible hours?

I have a 2hr commute each way. I do shorter London days and work on the train to make up hours. I also do slightly longer wfh days. Being home at a decent time is a real game changer for me!

I did this 5-6 days a week (with 4 days off in between) with a 5 year old child at home for a year. It nearly killed me off tbh. It does skew my perspective though as I see 2 days a week as manageable…but you will have to look at it as writing off 2 whole days a week with your children- it’s easier said than done.

What time do you usually get home?

Yes - I used to do similar if not longer and I was earning eff all when I look back. But I caveat that with having had little luck in applying for jobs over the last year. Apparently 1 in 5 adults isn't working but no one wants to talk about the lack of jobs or why no one can get one...

Too far for me with young children, if you need to get home quickly it’s going to be complicated. If the trains are delayed or bad weather it’s going to be really stressful. I wouldn’t do it. No way.

I did similar 3 days / week with young children (pre covid so wfh was much rarer)

It’s doable but you have to be really organised with all the rest of the household things. The worst issues were kids getting ill during school day or last minute changes at school that needed attention- but if your partner is around that might relieve the pressure.

I used the train in to work but always used the journey home to read, watch iPad etc to make the most of a bit of quiet time

Mine was like that with 15 mins to the station. Fully sympathise. It’s far too long!

I used to do similar. DH was the contact point for the DC and did the childminder run those days, I did the other three when I was in the office. Assuming your other half is competent (which he should be!) then it will be fine. And yes, I did the weekly shop, read, wrote Xmas cards etc etc

I've just accepted a job where I'll be doing this. I don't have kids, which of course takes away the stress around making it home at a specific time.
If it's only 2 days a week, I could put up with almost anything.

Yes would do that in your situation for the right job.

I have a 2 year old and a few times a month (3 or 4) have to do a 2hr each way driving commute to HQ. Out of the house from 6am to 7pm. Tough days but fine with a hands on partner.

Yes my current commute by train is an hour long, and i always get a seat, and because I just read Reddit and Mumsnet and watch YouTube videos, it almost feels like time at home on the sofa. Not too bad at all.

It would depend how many hours you work? Full time role? Then no.

I did a similar commute for 8 years, whilst my kids were little. I did it two or three days and worked from
home for the rest of the week. It was tough but I got used to it. I didn’t prioritise my health/sleep and was sick a lot. I took a job near home 3 years ago and have realised how tired I always was. But if you can get enough sleep it’s doable, and for me was worth it for the job.

This is very similar to my set up. I have a nursery aged kid and one in reception, my journey twice a week is: 10m drive to station (DH gives me a lift), 40m train, 30m window for getting from London terminal to desk (usually takes about 20m but I need to build in the time in case of delays). We leave at 8am for me to get to desk at 9.30 and I leave the office at 5.30pm to get home for 7.

Personally I find it doable twice a week (and like you I make sure those are DH’s wfh days so someone is nearby in case of emergencies). I get that it seems daunting if you’ve been fully remote but I actually do enjoy the way the commute separates up the day. I feel like I’m rushing less on those days as DC are fully DH’s responsibility (I literally can’t do bathtime as I’m on a train!) so I can just focus on myself and work in a way that I used to pre kids.

OP to be fair some people don’t have a choice, so if you do then I’d say no, but 2 days out of 7 is really not that bad. As long as THEIR day isn’t that long.

You will survive albeit knackered!

How flexible is work going to be with the WFH days, really? Is there not a risk 2 days in the office will turn into 3, then 4, maybe even 5? It's been known to happen. Same question for your DH, too.

Because it’s a train ride I wouldn’t mind too much as you can read/relax or catch up on life admin on the train. And the walk is exercise (although I would get a taxi if torrential rain) I wouldn’t do it in a car.
But if there was potential for a similar job closer to home I would hold out for that if I could.