Does your partner attend medical appointments with you?

[momtoboys]

I have a dear friend who attends all medical appointments with her, and visa versa. Neither of them is ill, this is for all appointments, follow-ups, annuals, a virus. They are in the exam room at all times. They also attend each others dental appointments and sit by the chair while the work is happening.

AIBU to think this is an unusual arrangement?

No, I go on my own (I'm 71 btw). I had to see a surgeon last week and my husband drove me to the appointment (I don't drive) but waited in the hospital café with a book.

I don't understand people who go shopping instead of ordering online, so you know..

I didn’t even take DH to my midwife appointments to check our baby, I would hate somebody coming to the dentist or GP with me! Is one of them anxious?

Mental.

We always attend alone. Even for surgery. In fact the last time my husband had a surgery the letter told him he had to attend alone unless we pre arranged with the hospital. Most doctors and wards dont have enough seats or waiting areas for everyone to take their extended family with them.

Yes, it is unusual. I attend the majority of mine alone, I have some medical anxiety though so DH comes for the more unpleasant ones. He never wants me with him!

Ya, knew of a couple like this. Turned out the husband was an utter controlling POS and ended up murdering his wife and burying her body under the stairs.

Is it a controlling thing? Or dependency thing?

Not normal. Most adults can live independently. Do neither work?

@thatkeenshakerI like Aldi, that's the only reason, they don't deliver. Otherwise I absolutely wouldn't be in a supermarket I promise.

My husband comes with me quite a bit but there are reasons. I had a really bad dentist as a child that traumatised me so badly that now I get sedated for appointments, so have to have someone with me. I'm also currently dealing with cancer and a very bad fall, so he wants to come to many appointments with me. He doesn't come if it's just down the road for a regular doctors appointment or vaccination or physio appointment though.

I am with you there, I also go (but very first thing when the shop opens on a weekday if possible, it's slightly less hellish 😂)

No. Partly because someone has to be around to take care of DS, partly because I enjoy the peace. When I was diagnosed with cancer the nurse apologised that she had to give me the news when I was alone. It hadn’t even occurred to me to take anyone with me to the clinic tbh. Even when other people drove me to appointments I still saw HCP alone.

Absolutely not, although he offered to come into one appt last year when I was very upset.

I've had 6 surgeries and all the associated follow up appointments and he drops me at the door and collects me when I've been discharged!

There's no value in him sitting in my hospital room or in an appt with thr consultant.

DP comes to the dentist with me, I developed a horrendous dental phobia in my mid-20s and absolutely fall to pieces as soon as they ask me to open my mouth I can get through a checkup if I’ve got his hand there to break squeeze!

The only other time I have had him at appointments is when I was on the 2WW pathway for suspected thyroid cancer and absolutely petrified as I was pregnant at the time.

In the absence of any additional need, that is unusual.

My dh certainly doesn't, nor I with him, except the one time I was meeting the oncologist to tell me about my Cancer, when he came.

Just our antenatal scans which I know not everyone does. But we had a stillbirth birth and NICU loss [twins] late third trimester, we lost both of our sons and I was alone when they called another doctor in when they realised my first twin had died. So I said never again.

Other appointments, just myself but I think anyone who needs support, theres nothing wrong with it

Not for minor appointments, but we have both been for situations where the other has wanted support.

Only time dh come to appointments was maternity ones like the scans and fetal medicine ones.
For my colondoscopy he just collected me.
Gp I go on my own.

dh likes me to go to all his doctor appointments - basically anything where there is discussion of symptoms or treatment. He has a tendency to ramble on so I can keep him focused & make sure he does not forget stuff. Plus I think 2 heads is always better than one for absorbing and interpreting what is said. Blood tests and the like he will go on his own or I might just drive him but not go into the appointment.

In our 20 years together, he's only attended with me once, which was for something mental health related and I wanted him there for support. I've fortunately not had anything else bad enough to warrant him coming with me.
I've accompanied him twice - one of which was an MRI that he was very nervous about, and one to be his ears so he didnt miss some important information (he's partially deaf).

I didn't mean to suggest that there are not instances when people attend appointments with their partner/friend, I just found it interesting that it is every appointment. The reason that it came up is that the physician had asked my friends partner to go to the waiting room and they would call her in shortly, but she just stayed anyway.

@Ella31 i'm so sorry that happened to you and your family.

No, the majority I’ll go to myself. Dh will come if it’s I need treatment which means I’ll be unable to drive (eg drops in eyes at opticians), but not for routine appointments.

I’ve worked in receptions before, and have definantly seen some controlling partners. I’d hate going to my dh’s dental appointments, going to my own is bad enough!

If it was serious (results of a diagnosis etc,c) then yes .I am single so this would be an ideal !
Anything else , no - controlling IMO
When pregnant , ex. Couldn’t even get time off for scans . A friend came with me
Dentist , I couldn’t afford so irrelevant