Feeling unsupported by my partner at the moment and want to gauge whether that's fair or if I'm being a perimenopausal witch.
I had a horrible bedtime with the kids last night that resulted in me losing my temper and shouting at them both to get into bed. I don't have many bedtimes like that with them but they had been hard work during bath time (constant screaming/shrieking, which they do a lot in the morning too. Constant mucking about/winding each other up while trying to do teeth, PJs on, reading etc). We always read but I actually threw the towel in last night as it was pointless. Admittedly I am perimenopausal and I don't have the patience that I used to but I think even if I wasn't I would have found last night hard.
While all of this was going on my partner who had just finished work (at home) was listening to it going on and stayed fully out of things. I work 3 nights a week and he does those bedtimes, so I understand that he doesn't get involved in bedtime when I'm home as he wants a break. But they were being awful and I expected him to come and help tackle what was going on behaviourly. I wasn't expecting him to help out with getting them ready. Instead he just stays in another room and listens to me getting more and more exasperated with them until I end up shouting at them.
For background he works from home 5 days a week officially from 9am - 7pm, but he spends most of the morning checking emails/taking very long comfort breaks/uninterrupted shower/walking the dog. He does do the kids packed lunches as I insisted he help with something after an argument but this is slowly getting delegated to the kids.
I lay out uniform, cook everyone breakfast, chase everyone to get ready, get ready myself etc. My 3 minute shower is always interrupted and for the 5 minutes that I do my makeup in my room the kids come into my bedroom shrieking and screaming. They are playing for the most part, but I could scream myself (and sometimes do) as it's the only time I have to myself and they decide to join me and scream. I often order them out of my bedroom but they continue shrieking somewhere else/come back in and my partner is usually engaged in one of his morning activities.
I don't mind doing most of the morning on my own - I actually find it easier, but what I do struggle with is his lack of support. Again if the kids are playing up in the morning he doesn't back me up - he can hear that I've asked them 6 times to put their socks on/brush teeth/get dressed etc. If he does get involved it will be a comment like "Put your socks on or your Mum will get angry". If the roles were reversed I'd say something like "Put your socks on because you've got school in 10 minutes and Daddy's asked you 6 times already."