Should we buy DD a car? (Very much a first world problem)

[CarolineCarr]

We bought DS a car for his 18th birthday.

DD will be turning 18 at the end of the month and we can't decide whether we buy her a car- or rather, one of DH and I feels we definitely should and the other feels we definitely shouldn't. I'm going to try to set out the viewpoints without saying who is who.

Against buying a car- it won't get driven very much. Her test isn't booked until a week after her birthday (DS had already passed his on his 18th). She isn't a very keen driver at the moment and needs more confidence.

For buying a car- we should do the same for both our children. Thinking about whether she passes before or after the birthday is irrelevant and thinking about the amount it will be driven immediately is too short term- she might have it for the next decade.

Not in the mix- cost. We are in agreement that we have the money to do it without any difficulty at all and that this is not a factor.

Please vote (assigned at random, not according to who thinks what)

YABU- buy the car
YANBU- don't buy the car

if You bought a car for DS then I’d buy a car for DD. Her confidence will grow and she will be able to practice in her own car

Without trying to teach you to suck eggs - have you actually asked her what she'd like? I was asked if I wanted a car (which was what my parents presumed) but what I actually wanted (and got) was money to put to my Saturday job savings to go Interrailing around Europe over the summer hols. I didn't own a car until I was 25 and that was fine by me.

Just buy the girl a car, it will be there for when she passes her test,

Cant they share a car

If the cost isn’t an issue then the main thing is the dc get the same, otherwise it breeds resentment later on.

Her test is a week after her 18th birthday?

I can’t really understand why you wouldn’t buy her a car to be honest.

Surely you need a car to build confidence driving?

If you got DS a car for his 18th and your DD has interest to drive, her test a week after her birthday then obviously you buy her the car.

Buy it once she passes her test. If she fails it may be a while before she can re-book and the car will just sit on the drive doing nothing.

But tell her this is the plan, so she knows that she's being treated equally

Another idea would be to give her money and say once she passes she can choose her own car?

Agree with asking her. If she doesn’t need or intend to drive much after she passes her test then it’s more economical to add her to your own insurance so she can borrow a car when she does need it rather than keeping a little-used car taxed, insured and MOTed/serviced. If she agrees, you can offer her the same value as DS had towards something else, or held back on promise for when she does decide she needs her own car.

Does she want a car?

I'm strongly of the opinion you should treat all your children equally, but that doesn't necessarily mean buying her the car now. You could always let her know you will buy her a car later when she has real need of it.

It isn't just about the purchase price when you say you can afford it. What about insurance, servicing, tax and petrol? Personally, we did not buy our children their cars, we left it until they felt financially able to take on both the purchase cost and running costs.

Unless your DD has said she doesn’t want a car then I can’t think of any reason not to - lots of cars aren’t driven very many miles each year (mine!), but it is still worth the convenience it gives me when I need it (quite frequently, as DH is out at work from 6am to 7pm with his car).

As cost isn’t an issue, you should buy the car.

Have you factored in uni plans? There’s perhaps not much point if she doesn’t pass this time, has to rebook, and then only has a few months of the car before she’s goes off to uni in September leaving the car behind. If she’s not going or taking a gap year though then it would potentially get a lot more use so could be worth considering. I also agree with asking her what she’d like to do. And you have to roughly square it with the value of DS’s car so equivalent cash for her savings if you decide not to get her the car.

That will just cause arguments. My brother and I have to car share for a few weeks and it was more trouble than it was worth.

Why not ask her? She might prefer the money to do something she chooses, and isn't a waste if the car won't be used. God knows why you bought your DS a car, that's so spoilt. He should be saving to buy his own car. or they should share a car, I'm 34 and I've never had my own car.

You bought ds one you should buy dd one.

and do so ahead of test so she can practice driving

@Peonies12 its not spoilt to buy your children a car

I wouldn't but only because she hasn't shown much interest. I think I'd say once she's passed her test of course you will consider it, maybe for her 19th but not right now. That is completely fair.

Definitely this, provided you've checked that she wants a car.

Why not give the cash equivalent into her savings account?

Against buying a car- it won't get driven very much. Her test isn't booked until a week after her birthday (DS had already passed his on his 18th).

So she won't be able to drive for.... one full week (assuming she passes)?

Yeah I think you need to buy her a car OP.

I would ask her if she would like a car, keep money for a car at a later point or money for something else.

It entirely depends on her plans, if she's going to uni and wouldn't take it its pointless, if she's staying at home car could be useful for work/ study.

Either way he best way to build confidence is to drive regularly which having her own car will allow her to do. Be careful putting off her actually doing any driving as it could just compound the confidence issue.

Does she want a car ? Now?

I'm with the 'ask her' camp. She might not want a car. Maybe if she does and her test is only a week after her birthday you could agree to get it after she passes?

Lots of families share cars, not everyone argues