Politics aside, is private school usually a better experience of education for kids compared with state?

[Isitbetterb]

Just that really. We have no political views on private v state and whilst we can afford private, neither of us have ever been to one nor have family who have.

Not really bothered about grades but more the environment. Is it really better than state? And if so in what way?

You really can’t generalise. It depends what’s on your doorstep.

‘Better’ how? Is your child academically able?

Impossible to generalise. Not all private schools are equal. Some are worth every penny, some state schools are far better.

It depends on the school and on your child and their needs.

The only thing private school does (nearly) guarantee is smaller class sizes. Aside from this it’s impossible to make a sweeping generalisation like this.

What are the state alternatives?

Well if it isn't then what the bloody hell is all that money paying for?

If it's selective, yes, otherwise I can't really see the point.

We have used both state and private education. I would say that it was a more pleasant experience for children in the private sector as lessons not regularly ruined by disruptive behaviour.

Let’s see. Keeping your child away from the oiks, the fulfilment of parental social aspiration, the desire that they make ‘nice friends’, and on Mn, judging by frequent threads asking how to replicate the effect of a private school, the persistent hope that the touch of a private school cocoons the child in a glow of self-confidence, ‘polish’ and achievement.

That's not the point. If the parents are paying thousands to the school then the money must be spent on something.

some private schools are v academic and have a wider choice of subjects to study compared to state

some have smaller class sizes and more support for kids who don't fit into mainstream

some really are about buying a richer group of friends (the teaching is no different)

some are just alternative or very odd (Steiner, forest school etc)

it all depends on which school you pick. And also which state school you are comparing to - many state schools are excellent but not all.

I just want to do what is likely to make dc happiest. I have no personal experience myself but didn’t massively enjoy school (large state)

I was privately educated. I hated it. It was competitive, single sex and incredibly bitchy. I grew up with no real sense of the real world. We all had lovely houses, great holidays, nice cars. Horse riding, skiing, cars for our 17th birthday.
The teaching was crap. Lazy, in creative teachers who relied on the fact that the pupils came from ambitious backgrounds. As an adult, I’ve found out I’m autistic. At school, the staff saw me as an annoyance.
My children were state educated. They are far more balanced. They’ve mixed with a much wider variety of people. They’ve all still achieved very well.
You don’t need fancy schools and multiple holidays. Saturday school and boarding school. Multiple clubs and expensive parties.

You just need parents who provide exposure to as much as possible, so you can experience things and find your loves.

Depends on the school. You can get good state schools and poor private schools. What is the perfect school for one child won't be the right school for another. Private schools don't have to have fully qualified teachers, though many are. And teachers, whether qualified or not, are not always great - you will know from your own school days that some teachers were more engaging, the ones you couldn't risk messing about in, the ones who were more respected - a lot of that is personal teaching style and personality.

However - private schools usually have much smaller class sizes, facilities can be far better, and there can be more offerings in extramural activities. So in general, probably yes, but it still depends on the child and the schooling question. Better a good state school than a poor private one, but a good private one will have resources state schools can only dream of.

In my experience, yes. Smaller class sizes encourage pupil engagement, multiple teams for the main sports, range of other sports for those not into team sports, incredible facilities for the arts, greater breadth of languages to learn, options and opportunities for extracurricular activities that very few state schools can offer. Both of mine have gone to different schools, each chosen to suit their individual strengths and needs.

And as the fees go up, they know they have to deliver value for that money and work to keep their pupils.

It’s a long time since my days at private school (the 90s). My friends who have DC at private school seem to have much more accomplished children. I don’t know about happier, but definitely doing very well academically/musically/in sports or whatever their thing is.

The thing is, private schools are a business, and therefore they don’t tolerate bad behaviour, because other parents aren’t paying good money to have their DC disrupted in class. So that’s worlds apart from my experience of my own DC in 4 different state secondaries. But also, what they are producing, to ‘sell’ to prospective parents, is results. Which means that it’s a much pushier environment, some kids thrive with that, others struggle. It all depends on the individual child and the schools in question.

But yes, despite actively hating my own private education, and swearing I’d never even contemplate sending a child to private school, having seen what state schools are currently like in terms of under funding and behaviour problems, if I had the money I definitely would send my own DC private.

I hated my miserable, expensive single sex private education. Good academically on paper, struggled to relate to the opposite sex in any way until aged 25 and still feel like an alien.

We found the opposite.

If it's a good private school you should get added value - smaller classes/more attention, a broader curriculum, more extra-curricular options.. so all in all more opportunities for your child to develop a range of interests and cultural capital that will serve them well in life. If you live somewhere urbanish, then you will get a choice of academic levels / styles so you can pick something that suits your child. If you can afford the uplift of a name school, you can get them a useful network.

So, as long as you do your homework, yes.

I do think in these cases there is something else going on, although single sex schooling may not have helped.

You need to go for some tours/Open Days (both state and independent) and make up your mind about what would suit your child. I have taught in both sectors and do, generally, believe that independent schools offer a better school experience - not necessarily in the classroom, mostly in terms of extra-curricular opportunities. My own DCS are privately educated even though it’s a financial squeeze for us.

The classes are smaller and the teachers are able to teach because they aren’t doing crowd control

If happiness is you main concern then you need to consider how easily your DC will fit in. Are they likely to have similar life experiences to their peers at a private school? If not they may struggle to feel like they belong and can end up feeling like an ‘outsider’ even if they do make friends.

The other thing that can have an impact is that classmates will not be local, they will be much more spread out geographically so you will need to arrange play dates with friends and drive to them rather than DC being able to walk to a friend’s house after school.

Depends where you are, the private and state provision available, and you and your DC.

The other side of this is that they may lose the connection to their local friends, as they no longer all go to the same school as all the other kids in the street, who may start to judge them for considering themselves “better”. So perhaps not fitting in at private school AND alienating themselves with the local kids.

I would echo all this based on my own experience of a private girls school and my DCs' schools. I loved school and my DC have too so far.

I also unexpectedly made great friends with the other prep school parents when kids were small so that was a bonus.

Yes it is much better… DD had a two year stint in what is considered a very nice local primary (ofsted excellent etc) but from where I was sitting looked liked a shitshow, with lessons an exercise in crowd control.

her two private schools have been:
more encouraging and aspiring
more safety nets if academically you’re falling behind
less violence in the schools
more and better equipped facilities
smaller class sizes meaning it’s less chaotic
fewer daft as f**k rules which are all about policy