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Original poster

Redundancy announcement - furious with manager and colleague

130 replies

Robin85 · 04/11/2025 08:09

I was told my job is being put at risk yesterday, along with almost 85% of those in my department (100+ people). A lot of us have been there 15-20+ years so there was a lot of emotion and anxiety about the future.

Today’s my non working day so I’m trying to take stock of things, and I can’t help but still feel angry about something a much younger colleague said. He is in his first role out of college and only been here about 1.5 years, so I don’t think the impact on him is quite the same (also lives at home).

About 10 minutes after we left the room where the announcement was made, he said in earshot of about 5/6 of us female colleagues, that at least we will all be alright. He was asked what he meant and said well it’s not like the men can go on onlyfans. One of my colleagues relayed the comments to our manager and he just laughed and said he was just trying to lighten the mood.

I think I’m more annoyed with how my manager replied but appreciate I am still emotional due to the announcement. Do you think that comment should be reported to HR or should I just forget it?

OP posts:
Modernsoul · 04/11/2025 08:10

He was joking

You have MUCH bigger things to concentrate on during your day off following this announcement. Don’t get bogged down by a joke by 8am!

aWeeCornishPastie · 04/11/2025 08:12

He was kidding fgs as the other poster said you have bigger things to worry about

Jellycatspyjamas · 04/11/2025 08:14

I’d have slapped him down there and then, but really what are HR going to do given he’s likely to be made redundant anyway. It was a thoughtless, offensive comment made by an immature man child, and compounds a time when I’m sure you’re all reeling but HR will have much bigger fish to fry. If anything I’d have a word with your manager about his dismissive attitude.

someepeoplearenice · 04/11/2025 08:15

YANBU to be annoyed. He’s a fucking arse and has shown he sees women as primarily sexual ( I am sure he could sell his arse on Only fans btw).

I wouldn’t tell HR when my job was on the line though. It’s unfair that it might go against you if you did, but it might.

Modernsoul · 04/11/2025 08:15

One of my colleagues relayed the comments to our manager

as in reporting him
or
sharing the joke

TheatricalLife · 04/11/2025 08:15

You should have agreed he'd have absolutely no chance selling his face.
It was a joke. You've got bigger fish to fry.

Modernsoul · 04/11/2025 08:15

someepeoplearenice · 04/11/2025 08:15

YANBU to be annoyed. He’s a fucking arse and has shown he sees women as primarily sexual ( I am sure he could sell his arse on Only fans btw).

I wouldn’t tell HR when my job was on the line though. It’s unfair that it might go against you if you did, but it might.

Goodness, are you prone to seeing shadows everywhere??!

MermaidMummy06 · 04/11/2025 08:17

It was off colour, but having been through the process with my last employer - three times - each taking almost a year, and dumped on the third, concentrate on your own position.

Start your resume & learn how jobs are applied for now - it's vastly different to 15 years ago (I was at my employer 20 years). Even if you're not made redundant now, it's a warning that no job is secure & you need to be agile & ready to move on.

You might even find a better opportunity!

Eenameenadeeka · 04/11/2025 08:17

It's a silly joke, but it's just a bad joke in a tricky situation. It sounds like there are much bigger issues to focus on, and in your current position I wouldn't want to be involved in taking any dramas to HR

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 04/11/2025 08:19

Given the circs it's not something that would bother me, I'd think he was a bit of a dick but nothing more than that

ExtraOnions · 04/11/2025 08:20

He said something stupid, when reacting to a stressful situation… people do.

Not sure what “going to HR” will achieve.. I think you are angry at the redundancy news, he’s just something convenient to pin it on

HostaCentral · 04/11/2025 08:20

Does nobody come back at these kind of comments anymore. There are so many ways you could've responded.

Anyway, don't dwell, he's an immature man who was trying to be funny. It wasn't, but definitely not an HR issue.

rwalker · 04/11/2025 08:20

Lifes too short and there’s bigger problems

Modernsoul · 04/11/2025 08:22

HostaCentral · 04/11/2025 08:20

Does nobody come back at these kind of comments anymore. There are so many ways you could've responded.

Anyway, don't dwell, he's an immature man who was trying to be funny. It wasn't, but definitely not an HR issue.

I am a woman

i might have smiled, not least bit offended. Instead more concerned about the pressing matter of the redundancy news!

Imisscoffee2021 · 04/11/2025 08:24

It was a bad taste joke and shows him to be a misogynistic little arsehole, however I think you're transferring your worries and energy onto the wrong thing, which is natural in this situation.

BendoftheBeginning · 04/11/2025 08:24

The sad thing is he probably does believe it. There are a few men out there who genuinely think women have it easy because we can coast through life on sex appeal while they have to have “real” ability.

helpfulperson · 04/11/2025 08:26

Why does everything have to reported or dealt with by a manager? Whats wrong with just saying at the time 'not funny' or similar.

ilovesooty · 04/11/2025 08:27

He's a misogynistic little shit and his comment should have been challenged on the spot.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 04/11/2025 08:29

You could have pointed out that it is not restricted to women, so he could go on there too.

Original poster
Robin85 · 04/11/2025 08:32

Thanks all. I won’t take it any further, my emotions are just heightened I think.

OP posts:
MyFlabbersAreGasted · 04/11/2025 08:32

Christ it was a joke - you have much bigger fish to fry

AngelsuseAlgorithms · 04/11/2025 08:34

Sorry but I probably would have laughed at that and given as good as I got. But it seems I'm in the minority.

HR will do absolutely nothing as they have bigger fish to fry with the redundancies to manage. It's going to be manic for them. At very best, he would get an informal chat with his manager who will probably just laugh it off again as they have bigger concerns about 100 people facing redundancy. It cynical to admit but you on the other hand would be seen as 'that person' creating drama when there's much bigger issues to deal with. Don't do it.

Just focus on what you need to and don't look to redirect your stress and anger in the wrong direction.

Modernsoul · 04/11/2025 08:34

Robin85 · 04/11/2025 08:32

Thanks all. I won’t take it any further, my emotions are just heightened I think.

Squash any thought of this
and use your day off to take stock and plan

DickDewey · 04/11/2025 08:36

It was a joke. Would you really consider reporting him for this? How petty.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 04/11/2025 08:42

someepeoplearenice · 04/11/2025 08:15

YANBU to be annoyed. He’s a fucking arse and has shown he sees women as primarily sexual ( I am sure he could sell his arse on Only fans btw).

I wouldn’t tell HR when my job was on the line though. It’s unfair that it might go against you if you did, but it might.

Have to agree with this.