Redundancy announcement - furious with manager and colleague

[Robin85]

I was told my job is being put at risk yesterday, along with almost 85% of those in my department (100+ people). A lot of us have been there 15-20+ years so there was a lot of emotion and anxiety about the future.

Today’s my non working day so I’m trying to take stock of things, and I can’t help but still feel angry about something a much younger colleague said. He is in his first role out of college and only been here about 1.5 years, so I don’t think the impact on him is quite the same (also lives at home).

About 10 minutes after we left the room where the announcement was made, he said in earshot of about 5/6 of us female colleagues, that at least we will all be alright. He was asked what he meant and said well it’s not like the men can go on onlyfans. One of my colleagues relayed the comments to our manager and he just laughed and said he was just trying to lighten the mood.

I think I’m more annoyed with how my manager replied but appreciate I am still emotional due to the announcement. Do you think that comment should be reported to HR or should I just forget it?

Straight to HR, OP. Get this prick first on the redundancy list.

Go back to your incel site. Telling women they can open Onlyfans accounts is sexist, not a compliment.

Off you pop to your incel hole.

Just this. Thing will
xhange if they don’t get pulled up from the second they say anything derogatory. No matter
The time, the joke. I’m sick of little sleazy assholes making off the cuff comments and we are expect to accept it.

I wouldn’t dismiss…. I might even chuckle!

Next time tell him straightaway what an utterly disgusting comment he's made. Challenge it straight away.

Right now...HR will have their hands full so I doubt they'll make much time for this, esp as he's relatively new to the company so likely to be one of the first to go as it will be cheaper for them.

Actually yes, I've heard women say things like this and much worse in the workplace.

Let's not pretend women have halos and men have horns. Both sexes are perfectly capable of being idiots at times.

He's an ass but now isn't the time to pursue this tbh with redundancy on the horizon. Normal times yep but at moment nope

OP, you need to cut this guy some slack. People do stupid things when they are stunned by some terrible news like redundancy. I have seen all sorts: breaking down entirely, hysterical laugh, glaring into the void...
Just let it slide this time.
I hope everybody keeps their job. Good luck.

There are women on this thread who've said they would have or have made similar comments

I am so happy and relieved that comments like this would wash over me (or I might even break a smile actually!)

I've worked with men and women. Far prefer working with men as they aren't seeking to be offended by every last little thing, then escalating, dragging every one in. Accept a bad joke that reflects badly on him and move on. No workplace needs the perpetually offended.

He sounds like a misogynist cunt, but you won’t do yourself any favours reporting him right now. Ignore it and concentrate on you

It was totally inappropriate but in the circumstances I would let it go. I have been made redundant three times, people react in different ways. Some were laughing and cheering (those that wanted to leave anyway), some were crying, some shocked and silent. If he says anything like that again, tell him what you think of such immature jokes.

If that is true, then this forum is a misogynist cuntfest given that many of us find that joke funny.
Maybe it is. 😂

Same! I can't imagine being so terminally offended all the time. And hating every single word that comes out of a blokes mouth. Must be exhausting.

Why didn't you say ' have a day off knobhead'
( our standard phrase at work when someone's being a dick!)

Get a grip, clearly trying to lighten the mood

It was a joke; wouldn’t worry about it.

I would probably have said something back like 'what in the casual everyday sexism do you mean?' and left him to think about how inappropriate a joke it was. Even as a tension breaker, it should never be being suggested that other people have got a default back up career on OnlyFans. If someone chooses to make those jokes about themselves, crack on, but not about others.

He made a shit job at trying to lighten the mood, try not to hold it against him. To be fair, he will be one of the first ones to go as they won’t have to pay him redundancy…

And I would suspect we are a lot happier in our every day lives as a result!

Ugh I would have been livid too. Utterly misogynistic and inappropriate.

Not a tasteful remark by any stretch of the imagination BUT like you the guy is looking at unemployment and UNLIKE you, I imagine he will get very little by way of a redundancy payment given how short a time he's been employed there.

I'd put it down to the stress of the moment and let it drop if I were you. Plus, do you really think either HR or him are actually going to give a damn?

I would take it as a joke and wouldn't be offended, although it's not the kind of banter you'd get in my workplace and wouldn't go down well.

Sorry to hear your redundancy situation. I am in a similar position at work and it is so stressful.