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Original poster

Redundancy announcement - furious with manager and colleague

130 replies

Robin85 · 04/11/2025 08:09

I was told my job is being put at risk yesterday, along with almost 85% of those in my department (100+ people). A lot of us have been there 15-20+ years so there was a lot of emotion and anxiety about the future.

Today’s my non working day so I’m trying to take stock of things, and I can’t help but still feel angry about something a much younger colleague said. He is in his first role out of college and only been here about 1.5 years, so I don’t think the impact on him is quite the same (also lives at home).

About 10 minutes after we left the room where the announcement was made, he said in earshot of about 5/6 of us female colleagues, that at least we will all be alright. He was asked what he meant and said well it’s not like the men can go on onlyfans. One of my colleagues relayed the comments to our manager and he just laughed and said he was just trying to lighten the mood.

I think I’m more annoyed with how my manager replied but appreciate I am still emotional due to the announcement. Do you think that comment should be reported to HR or should I just forget it?

OP posts:
Pricelessadvice · 04/11/2025 08:45

I think it was a poor attempt to lighten the mood. I’d let it go.

TheUsherGirl · 04/11/2025 08:49

You're very dismissive of the impact this will have on him...

It's his first "proper" job but being made redundant can be scary whenever it happens (I was made redundant at my first job, only 4 months after starting and I was in tears over it). Maybe he was making plans to move out, start his life independently, maybe his parents will be hard on him for being out of work, maybe he has a partner he was planning on proposing to or taking on an expensive holiday...

Being young and living at home doesn't mean redundancy isn't scary and emotional

He handled that by making a slightly crass joke. You could have batted something back to him like "you could always join the cast of Magic Mike" or "it's ok, no one would pay to see you anyway" etc

senua · 04/11/2025 08:51

A lot of us have been there 15-20+ years ... He is in his first role out of college and only been here about 1.5 years
You are only entitled to redundancy after you have been in a job for two years. He will be cheaper to get rid of than you.
Karma will get him.

Booboobagins · 04/11/2025 08:52

Def a very poor taste joke and exist, but you will fair better than him as you've been there longer.

But 85% is not 100% job losses and as the company goes through restructuring things may change slightly.

Best of luck with it all, it's shitty to find out before Christmas x

LimeGalah · 04/11/2025 08:53

It’s not ok and it doesn’t become ok just because he’s stressed.

I’d probably report it. If I’m going to lose my job anyway might as well. I’d also report the manager - you reported inappropriate behaviour and your manager dismissed a legitimate complaint.

Herewegoagainandagainandagain · 04/11/2025 08:53

Your emotions will be all over the place, including anger, but don't direct it at a daft wee boy just out of college, it is not his fault. And don't try to be competitive about who is most impacted by the changes, it is not a competition anyone will "win" and no one will know until things settle down - you might be made redundant, walk into another job and can bag a decent redundancy package - he might be made redundant, struggle to find a job, dip into depression and his prospects and live path heavily impacted. Uncertainty for your futures will be impacting you all. Try to support each other.

Redburnett · 04/11/2025 08:54

Next time you see him just tell him straight to his face that you had not realised what a disgusting little sleaze he is.

Iwouldlikeanewjob · 04/11/2025 08:56

ilovesooty · 04/11/2025 08:27

He's a misogynistic little shit and his comment should have been challenged on the spot.

Exactly this and I’m taken aback at the number of people who dismiss comments like this as a joke.

i hope everything works out ok for your job OP

SoapwortInFlowerInNovemberWhatNext · 04/11/2025 09:00

ExtraOnions · 04/11/2025 08:20

He said something stupid, when reacting to a stressful situation… people do.

Not sure what “going to HR” will achieve.. I think you are angry at the redundancy news, he’s just something convenient to pin it on

This. Absolutely.
Concentrate today on your next move for your own good.

RosesAndHellebores · 04/11/2025 09:00

People see offence too often when none exists. I had to look it up.

Uptightmumma · 04/11/2025 09:05

My job got put at risk - we walked out and the first thing I said was does anyone know a good website to sell feet pics!! It just a joke/lighten the mood. It’s a shit situation and also just because he ls young and lives at home doesn’t mean losing his job will have less impact on him. At least you’ll get a pay out he won’t

Leopardspota · 04/11/2025 09:05

Also, I think your comments suggesting it’s worse for you than him are unfair and selfish. How do you know? His career is being stalled before it’s properly getting going.

Unpaidviewer · 04/11/2025 09:06

Its a stressful situation, this just sounds like a stupid joke to me. And he won't be entitled to redundancy as you and your other colleagues will. You honesty have no idea how he is feeling.

OhDearMuriel · 04/11/2025 09:09

Come on, young people can say some stupid things, and don’t tell me you never did when you were young.

You’re focusing all of your negative energy on him, when you need to be focusing on more important things like your future.

Stop making him your favourite subject.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 04/11/2025 09:12

LimeGalah · 04/11/2025 08:53

It’s not ok and it doesn’t become ok just because he’s stressed.

I’d probably report it. If I’m going to lose my job anyway might as well. I’d also report the manager - you reported inappropriate behaviour and your manager dismissed a legitimate complaint.

In theory I fully agree with you but at a time like this with redundancies looming I would not do this. I would just keep my head down and focus on my own future.

DiscoBob · 04/11/2025 09:12

That's a pathetic thing to say to try and 'lighten the mood'. While you're all fretting over how you'll keep a roof over your head. It's also bollocks that men don't do OF. Loads do. You should tell him to join up. That you'd all chip in for a shared subscription, in order to 'lighten the mood.' ?!

I'm so sorry about the redundancy.

Greenwitchart · 04/11/2025 09:14

I think in this situation I would let it go because it is likely he was in shock/stressed out and said something stupid as a result.

If it was said in a regular work situation then I would definitely take offence and make it clear that was unacceptable/take it further, but I think in this case you are better off focusing on yourself and the redundancy situation rather than divert your energy.

StewkeyBlue · 04/11/2025 09:15

Really sorry you are facing redundancy. A horrible prospect.

His comment was not OK but amongst you all , with your years of wisdom and experience, was there not one who could just have said “not appropriate “ or “not funny” or “you’d be surprised, Jack, you should have a look, you could do well in a sector that doesn’t require intellect “.

Rather than reporting . And to a man, looking to him to support you defenceless women?

It will be a horrible unsettling time, focus on getting the best out of the process and preserving and gathering your positive energy for whatever comes next.

coldiris · 04/11/2025 09:21

I can see why you are upset but honestly don't see the point of reporting it to HR at this stage. There is clearly a bigger issue that you are concerned about and although emotions are running high, I am not sure you really would like to add more stress to the situation. HR takes ages to investigate anything and in my experience they are there to protect management and the company from employees, not the other way around, so it's possible you may get some satisfaction from your complaint but it's also possible that you may not as they literally will do everything to protect the company.

With that in mind, I guess it's up to you whether or not in the current circumstances it's something you really want to do. Maybe if you were to continue working there, it may have had more perceived value but given the situation, I am personally not sure I would bother. I am also not convinced that any offence was meant although it sounds quite offensive.

Linenpickle · 04/11/2025 09:23

It was a twatty comment from him and he seems to be young and stupid but you’ve got bigger fish to Fry. Look at it as a positive and that he thinks you could actually be on onlyfans! At least it didn’t suggest you to Gransnet or something.

TodaRythm · 04/11/2025 09:25

It's just a tactless stupid joke, and let's face it, he has a point.

greatvisuals · 04/11/2025 09:28

I am also being made redundant. I also made a joke about going on Only Fans.
I am female. A few of us also joked about setting up a worn knickers business. Men and women were present. It lightened the mood.

You are probably very emotional and wouldn't find anything funny at this stage.

greatvisuals · 04/11/2025 09:29

TodaRythm · 04/11/2025 09:25

It's just a tactless stupid joke, and let's face it, he has a point.

😄

user1471538283 · 04/11/2025 09:33

Please don't give this any head space. You need your full concentrated effort on you. Not anyone else or helping anyone else. You.

I've been through so much in my career and trust me most everyone else is only in it for themselves.

sittingonabeach · 04/11/2025 09:34

This is how misogyny is rife in workplaces, comments like this are dismissed as a joke. Would a woman have made that comment?

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