to not want to live with a person with poor mh

[SnooperLoopy]

I grew up with a clinically depressed mother who also has some sort of personality disorder arising from a neglected childhood. We always had to tiptoe around her moods and pander to her. She dictated everything - what TV shows we watched, where we went on holiday, the topic of conversation, who came to the house etc. In many ways she loved us as best she could but she really was difficult to live with and I left home as soon as i could and spent my twenties seeing as little of her as possible. I do now see her every week, but I try to manage her in small doses as that is easier.
Now my older teenage son is showing signs of depression and absolutely dictates the household mood. Sometimes I can't wait for him to grow up and move out. As much as i love him, I don't want to spend any more of my life walking on eggshells over another (irrational and selfish) person's moods. But in the current economic climate I fully expect him to come back and live with us after university. How can I cope with this?

I fully expect to be flamed but I suspect anyone who has experienced what i am talking about will sympathise and some solidarity / encouragement would be appreciated.

Pathogen? I said it was an illness, not a disease.

And all mental health experts will tell you there is no definitive way to prevent depression.

You clearly have no experience of this or knowledge about it.

Clearly. I'm 100% bipolar but I believe a lot of it was environmental including childhood trauma and possibly substances did not help in the past.

A parent has severe mental health issues and that is likely down to severe trauma also.

I've a lot of experience with it and also done a lot of reading and introspection into it.

I didn't say you said it was a disease. I made the point that, without a pathogen, it becomes very academic and yes, we have a term to describe these states, but no they are not always down to idiopathic cause. I stand by what I said, that in many of the cases it is remediable.

In fact I've remedied my own by deep work. It threatens to return constantly and I have many, many, many coping mechanisms, rescue rituals, and prevention techniques.

And the comment I made for OP about working on this with him is also something I stand by.

I don't see how it's helpful to just label it as unfixable and thus give up on a person finding happiness. The entire purpose of life and what makes it worth living is happiness.

I didn’t say it was untreatable, I said there was no guaranteed, specific way to prevent it.
Whether or not happiness is the entire purpose of life is subjective. Personally, I don’t believe it is.
I can’t respond to the rest of your post because I don’t understand it. It doesn’t make any sense.

Show me where dictating what everyone watches on telly and where to go on holiday is in the dsm - 5