Husband going through bin for cat food

[mrsgumpy]

So I need some perspective on this. And yes I know it is ridiculous to be arguing about cat food.

My husband hates waste. He thinks I don't get all the cat food out of the sachet when I feed the cat. I try to squeeze all the cat food out but I find it disgusting so I am not going to use a teaspoon and scrap every last bit out of the sachet. I prefer to get as much as I can out by squeezing the sachet and then chucking it in the bin. However, every time I feed the cat, DH goes into the rubbish bin, finds the sachet and then scraps the rest of the cat food out. It drove me a bit crazy for a while and then I just decided to let him go for it. This morning it started to irritated me all over again to see DH rummaging in the bin and then trying to scrap out tiny morsels of cat food from the sachet.

I am the first up in the morning, which is why I feed the cat otherwise I would just leave him to it. Whenever he feeds the cat it is such a palaver that the poor cat is almost beside himself with waiting for something to eat. DH also likes to ration the cat's food to avoid waste so he eeks out the cat food in small portions over the course of the day, which means we have a constantly meowing cat around the house. Drives me crazy.

Ok, so what do you think? Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let DH rummage through the bin for cat food and not care about it?

To be fair a lot of people would do this 😂. I think there is even a mumsnet area dedicated to it.

Cats will never drink next to their food if they can help it. Putting them together discourages the from drinking enough as cats instinctually keep water away from food to avoid contamination. It actually encourages them from drinking. Separating them encourages better hydration. Keep their water and food far apart.

And for God's sake stop starving your cat. My tuxedo cats eats 3 times so much as yours. I would never be married to anyone who is cruel to animals. I am medically diagnosed OCD and would never dream of this. Your DH isn't OCD, he is just as an absolute cunt. Your poor, poor cat.

Go on then.
Or might I venture a guess:
Small leftovers of bar soap compressed into a reusable bar? One used to be able to buy a machine that did just that.
Bar soap opened and left to dry out for months before use, so it ‘lasts longer’.
I grew up with parents of the wartime austerity generation and know these things well. Fifty years later, WWII is over. It now gives me twinge of wistful pleasure to sling little bits of soap directly into the bin.

Using a teaspoon to get to the bottom of the cats wet food can be disgusting if you get it on your fingers!
My life was transformed with the purchase of latte spoons. Sorry I’m not good at links but I’ve just looked up my purchase; £5.49 for 4 from Amazon.
They’re basically thin spoons with a very long handle which get right to the bottom of the packet; it’s very easy to get everything out. I keep the spoon in the empty packet and use it for the next one then wipe and put it in the dishwasher at the end of the day.
Problem solved!

This soap story really is vile. You clearly have the patience of a saint!

@mrsgumpy - are you able to say what it is you’re feeding your cat - both wet and dry food?

The reason I ask is with regards to is the cat’s diet “complete”?

Lots of dried foods are classed as “complete”. Ie, they contain everything your cat needs nutrition-wise. Whereas a lot of wet foods are classed as “complementary” so they don’t contain everything your cat needs.

My cats are feed complete dry food - available for free-feeding 24/7. And they have a small tin of complementary wet food every evening as a treat.

Do a little research and I’m sure you’ll be able to tell your OH to bugger off!

Cat food packets are pretty disgusting though and I don

t blame anyone for not wanting to touch them!

do you think you want the rest of your life to be like this? I think you should really think hard about it because I’m guessing there are plenty of other stories you could post about in a flippant way?

This is actually your husband showing you what he thinks you are worth and it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing it. It doesn’t seem like a big deal on the surface but it honestly is.

I still feel uncomfortable being treated well in relationships because it seems to be easier to accept being treated badly rather than with respect when you have low self esteem. Someone with plenty of it wouldn’t put up with this.

I’m aware I’m projecting my own experiences and if your relationship is perfect in other ways then it might be easier to overlook someone just being a bit thrifty and be understanding.

Have you ever read Marian Keyes “Last chance saloon?” there is a character called Tara in a similar relationship and that book really opened my eyes.

If your husband has OCD then is he getting help for it? I have diagnosed OCD and medication really helped. It’s a difficult condition to live with and even harder to live with somebody else who has it.

If it bugs you just don’t feed the cat, let him do it

Actually, I get it. I don't like getting catfood on my hands. Don't like the smell and even after I have washed my hands it still feels ick for ages. Not sure why as other meat doesn't bother me.

This is so extreme, is it the result of trauma or are people genuinely this miserly?!

The cat is telling you he's hungry, that's the best guide for your DH. I'd ask him outrightly in his heart of hearts he thinks the cat is full or if he's ekeing it out to save money. Pets are expensive but cutting corners on the basic necessity of food isn't fair. He wouldn't like it if he was forced to have tiny meals across the day that never left him feeling sated.

me too

Jesus Christ…this is downright abusive. The poor cat is either constantly hungry, or something even more serious ails her. Doesnt she get kibble as well? She needn't be dependent on your appalled sachet encounters so much then. (Mind you, you definitely are wasting the wet stuff as those badly designed sachets retain a decent amount in the damn bottom)

Let your husband have control over how much pleasure you are permitted from food and small extravagances by all means, since you made the choice to marry him.
But for God’s sake, advocate for the cat. Feed her good quality high protein dry kibble in tandem with sachet stuff, if necessary stashing a second container some place your DH wont think of looking!
Thus you can keep the moggie topped up and no longer be a party to cruelty to an animal.
(Mild deception is indicated, I think, on account of the urgent hunger situation. It sounds like you are unwilling to cross DH’s wishes, and meanwhile the cat is crying out.)

But please, make sure she’s otherwise ok, since you've not yet looked into alleviating this distress at all.
If buying additional food for this cat is not going to happen, I doubt vet visits do either, though. It sounds like neither of you give a damn about her.
This sounds like such a lousy home for a cat, frankly, as they really do need affection as well as food, so maybe you ought to ask around about a more welcoming home for her.

PS sorry, called the cat a she, as is my usual habit with any Ive not met. No offence to Mr Tom ..

That cat must hate him. If i tried rationing my cat's food he'd trip me going down the stairs (and then feast on my body)

I don't think its a good idea to mix extra water in the food. The water content in wet food is measured and should be enough as they don't need much. You just leave a small bowl of water on the side so they can drink if they want to.

Oooohhhh dear ….. please, please, please tell us that the immature, insulting, miserable tw#t that you have hitched yourself to has some redeeming feature …. anything ….. please ….?

This

Gosh I think my nether regions would seal themselves shut if my husband did this.

I would start buying biscuits for the cat from the vets or online. A good brand like Hills. Forget the sachets as they are crap quality and harmful to cat health, everyone’s mental health, and your marriage!

Offer some dry food in a secret place only you and the cat know about.

Your poor cat. He’s not getting enough food at all. Mine gets one 80g tin in the evening and as much kibble as he can eat, which is available throughout the day. He’s not overweight.

Can you LTB OP? He is so miserly I bet puss and yourself would be SO much happier without him.
Honestly the cat food sachet is not your real problem. I would also love to see a photo.