Husband going through bin for cat food

[mrsgumpy]

So I need some perspective on this. And yes I know it is ridiculous to be arguing about cat food.

My husband hates waste. He thinks I don't get all the cat food out of the sachet when I feed the cat. I try to squeeze all the cat food out but I find it disgusting so I am not going to use a teaspoon and scrap every last bit out of the sachet. I prefer to get as much as I can out by squeezing the sachet and then chucking it in the bin. However, every time I feed the cat, DH goes into the rubbish bin, finds the sachet and then scraps the rest of the cat food out. It drove me a bit crazy for a while and then I just decided to let him go for it. This morning it started to irritated me all over again to see DH rummaging in the bin and then trying to scrap out tiny morsels of cat food from the sachet.

I am the first up in the morning, which is why I feed the cat otherwise I would just leave him to it. Whenever he feeds the cat it is such a palaver that the poor cat is almost beside himself with waiting for something to eat. DH also likes to ration the cat's food to avoid waste so he eeks out the cat food in small portions over the course of the day, which means we have a constantly meowing cat around the house. Drives me crazy.

Ok, so what do you think? Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let DH rummage through the bin for cat food and not care about it?

Worth mentioning that cats are poor at drinking enough, so a lot of their hydration is often from wet food. Male cats can be particularly prone to getting urinary blockages from crystals, so adequate hydration is especially important. Can be tricky to monitor as cats sometimes drink from puddles etc (I know my first cat would turn nose up at lovely fresh water in a bowl and then I'd see her drinking from puddles!) If only having 1 sachet a day plus dry food or dry only diet, would be worth putting a bit of water in the wet food or moisten the dry food a bit. Cat water fountains can be good as they are more likely to drink from those but I'm guessing as hubby is tight with cat food in first place that will be a long shot!

You need to defy him. He’s a dick

I have seven. Unfortunately lost two this year so previously had nine. In the morning I feed my seven 2 tins split between their bowls and top up with cat biscuits. In the evening they get 2 tins split between their bowls. Asda’s own brand tins which work out to exactly the grams they should be eating (could even cover an additional cat) and costs less than when I was using Asda’s own brand pouches, which under cut the weight of their meals by a lot. Remember that a lot of pouches have been cut from 100g to 75g. Various brands and own brands.
It is in no way difficult to squeeze out the contents of a pouch into a good bowl completely. He’s being very, very weird. Change to tins, you can see exactly what you’re scraping out to feed them with nothing left over.
First time I’ve ever heard someone suggest washing out a sachet and mixing the water in with the food. There is completely no need to do that. Cats will get the water they need from the wet food and also any water bowls provided!
Him rationing out the cat food is ridiculous. Of course they’ll be hungry if they’ve received a piss poor amount and have to wait for his timings!
Feed cats twice a day exactly the weight of food they need. It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that. I’d be asking him why he needs to control what food he’s giving them to this extent. It’s really fucking weird!

Pâté trays could work too for aluminium recyclability. Similar price as the sachets if own brand (Aldi, Tesco and Amazon are all much of a muchness around 35-39p, similar % meat) - and they're 100g rather than 85g. Some of the food still sticks but definitely easier with a normal spoon, or a silicon spatula.

Good point. I have actually been doing that - pouring a bit of water into the biscuits then putting the wet food on the top. It has worked really well. We have a bowl outside that we top up - he won't drink next to his food for some reason.

If your cat is very active then 3-4 pouches a day should be given. Your DH sounds like a nasty tightarse. What a miserable life you must lead, I feel so sorry for you and the poor cat.

Oh MrsG this is no way to live for you or your poor hungry cat. No two ways about it, your husband is a cunt.

Are you really happy living this way? Can you see yourself still with him in ten years time? Do you really think things will improve?

Time to make a decision….

And I haven't even told you all about the soap yet...

Not sure I should ask…

I feed a stray, just Aldi pouches and they can be recycled - I just rinse and put them in the big recycling bin usually inside Aldi's doorway. It's a while since I lost my own cat so I'm not sure if it's the same for the premium sachets but I'd expect if Aldi make recyclable pouches, other brands might.

You say OCD Op but I think he's just mean. I bet he nags you about how much toilet roll gets used and buys the cheapest stuff he can find and he insists on using the soap until it's just a tiny bit you can hardly pick up.
Feed the poor cat more and ignore your bin obsessed DH

I so agree with this. Is there anyway you can start a running away fund ? Just put money in it little by little and eventually it will build up into a fund to have behind you when you finally have enough of him. He is a control freak amongst many other unpleasant traits. I know this type of man. I left him four years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. You need to box clever and plan!

Oh please tell us about the soap 🙈.

I had a similar ex who was the tightest man in the world, he would open his wallet and moths would fly out!

I remember him trying to tell me how many sheets of loo roll to use, all our food and cleaning products were the cheapest supermarket brand, clothes must come from charity shops and he even tried to choose my san pro ffs.

I was the fucking bread winner and he was timing me in the shower and telling me to use 2 squares of loo roll and wear pads that were like nappies. For my birthday I got a Asda smart price kettle when I don’t drink tea or coffee - obviously he did.

I dumped him and saw sense after the kettle and he married someone else and treated her in a similar way. We compared notes after she finally left him too and both agreed how much better life was when we weren’t under a strict rationing regime.

The relationship was good otherwise but as pp have said this is unattractive behaviour and resentment grows. I think you might want to consider if you are your cat would be happier living alone and free to do what you please.

My ex used to buy 29p liquid soap and spit it into portions then mix them with water, it was fucking pathetic.

@GetThatToadOutOfMyHole there's being careful and not wasting money but that level of mean is way too far. I hope you buy lovely soap now he's an Ex

Well this thread isn't as bad as I feared from the title. I thought he was rummaging in the bin and eating it himself.

Sorry but this had me laughing out loud as it was waaaaay too familiar.

As my Scottish father says, there’s mean and there’s careful. Careful is buying cheap things and denying yourself. Mean is doing it to others. They are very different things. Ad my dad would give the best food to the cat, while eating mouldy cheese himself!

The cat does but HATES the cheap stuff from Costco that DH buys so I buy him separate expensive stuff, which he loves, and he gets that in the afternoon. The cheap stuff is available all day but he only eats if desperate.

My cat grazes throughout the day. I stay away from the wet cat food as it makes her really aggressive. I don’t know what it is - whether she’s sensitive to any of the preservatives but after she’s eaten it she’s aggressive and very loud.

I would never ever ration out her wet cat food over the course of a day - that’s just cruel.

We Split up 18 years ago and I still appreciate being able to buy lovely soap and spend ages in TK Maxx choosing it.

I feel the same about putting the heating on when I’m cold, buying proper Diet Coke and not the Aldi cheap stuff and a decent winter coat and not an ill fitting charity shop one.

It wasn’t what most would class as an abusive relationship but it was a horrible way to live and wasn’t easy to forget.

The soap story I can barely bring myself to write as I know it is probably even more messed up than the cat food nonsense. But since people have already spotted that the cat food issue likely extends to soap ... The gist is that his grandmother was one of the WW2/depression-era types who kept all the small pieces of soap and then made them into one piece of soap. When she moved into a rest home, he went to visit her and help clear out her house and ... brought back all those pieces of soap for us to use. So not only did we now have lots of tiny pieces of soap to use, but they had already been used by his grandmother.

The kettle story is familiar. I received a fry pan for the last three gift occasions (birthday, anniversary) not because I asked for one but because he wanted them and you can get them with credit card points.

After you've squeezed a pimple, does he try to give it another go in case there's some left in there?

I laughed it off at the time but I look back and it really was miserable.

We never had nights out or holidays and going out for a meal was a portion of sausage and chips on a bench.

It’s easy to get into the trap of thinking you don’t deserve nice things. As long as you aren’t expecting diamonds and champagne every day that you can’t afford then you and your cat deserve better 💕

As I often say of this site: it’s a window into the extraordinary way some people live.
Thanks for the entertainment. 😀