Cost of living or prioritising the wrong things 🤔

[Sbrown32]

Firstly, this is not to offend anyone, I just find it a interesting debate that I recently came across and wanted to know others opinions on this.

Is it the cost of living or are we prioritising the wrong things?

When I came across this, the woman who was discussing this topic had some really good points (in my opinion), back in the day, we prioritised differently, we didn't have a takeaway each week (guilty of this myself tbh), food deliveries on our phone, we didn't grab a coffee on the way to work every morning, family trips out to the cinema or nights out used to be a treat not a given etc

I am pregnant with my first, and looking at ways we can cut down on spending whilst I am on MAT leave, when I really looked into my spending habits I have realised that I do a lot of these myself, I get a coffee each morning usually with a breakfast meal deal of some sort, we have a takeaway each week and we spend a lot on going out, date nights, cinema trips and going to nice places to eat etc.

I haven't decided myself if I fully agree with this or not yet so please be respectful.

Lifestyles have changed massively.

In the 1980s a couple would rent a flat while trying to save a depoist for a house purchase - they’d mainly get given a few bits of furtniture for the flat from family. We had a sofa that came with the flat but no tv, no chairs and no kitchen table at first. We did buy a bed first though.

Then we bought the first 2 bed terrace house, 2x nhs nurse wages, the mortgage cost was just over one of the two salaries so more than 50% of the household income.

No subscriptions of any sort but we could have rented a tv if we had wanted to.

Young people today think it was easy back then, they don’t know the half of it.

Then we bought the first 2 bed terrace house, 2x nhs nurse wages, the mortgage cost was just over one of the two salaries so more than 50% of the household income.

Whereas now that same house is probably valued at 4-5 times a nurse’s salary, at least, if not 6-7 times. So the mortgage would be completely out of reach for you in the first place and you’d be stuck paying someone else’s mortgage in a rental.

Eh? Why do you think people on lower incomes prioritise smoking or drinking, exactly?

I went back to work full time this year. Until then coffee etc was a luxury. I get people buy one as a treat but I was shocked by a couple of people I knew. Needed help at the end of the month with food but wouldnt think twice about going out every week to the pub for the night. It’s about priorities and for some choosing food can be one.

I think if we’ve hit the point that a working person can’t grab a coffee or a takeaway every so often, the cost of living is too high. We shouldn’t be working just to pay for the very basics and have no enjoyment in life. We shouldn’t be at a point where two people working full time cannot afford a decent lifestyle.

Do you have a very large family and/or allergies/dietary requirements? That's a crazy amount.

Interesting, I'd say the access to cheap credit was actually what allowed lots of people to think they could afford a standard of living which their actual wages didn't afford them. I wonder how many are actually still paying some of those debts back or who passed on the 'just use credit for luxurries' mentality. I know a significant number of folk also ended up declaring bankruptcy, meaning having to start again in their 30s or 40s.

Absolutely you’re being unreasonable. You just have to look at the statistics and difference in cost of things and cost of living against wages, now and in the past. People did get takeaways, we had one every Sat night in the 70s and 80s, went on holidays, my dad bought all the latest gadgets, house phone, video recorder, stereo system. My parents had three kids, my dad was a window cleaner and my mum a care worker and they owned a really lovely sized three bedroom house! So no, it’s not buying luxuries and feeding into that narrative is just not helpful!

It's a mix of both, and a bit of keeping up with appearances and social media bragging.

I have a friend who can't afford to put into a pension yet spends £300 per month on clothes and shoes and buys lots on credit. We don't really talk about money as our prioritiess are so different!

I earn almost double what I did before I had my kids, combined with a partner who earns almost double too. We’re both higher rate tax payers (me only just). Our mortgage has gone from £650pm on a 1 bed flat to £2000 a month on a three bed semi. Childcare for 2 kids, clothes for a family, school uniform, residential trips, school lunches, bills, insurances etc. in comparison, I FELT like I had LOADS of money before kids. Wouldn’t have thought twice about evenings out, gigs, restaurants etc. Now, I am strapped some months. It’s partially cost of living (a food shop is also double or more than what it was) and that having kids is expensive!! We don’t go on holiday every year - can’t afford it and then have spare for unexpected things like plumbers, tyres, car repairs, electricians etc. I don’t have debt, other than the mortgage.
i was wearing a pair of boots recently I bought around 15 years ago before I had my eldest. They were £150+ in a half price sale. Bought impulsively without questioning the cost, because I liked them. They’ve lasted to be fair so were an investment. Now, I’d have to budget to afford them. I don’t buy expensive things for myself anymore. Don’t wear expensive make up or expensive skin care. I don’t get my nails done ever and rarely get a hair cut, or get coffees out - I can’t justify it when I can make nice coffee at home. Your priorities change.

The loudest whingers about COL are usually the ones wasting cash on junk for the most part the people actually struggling seem to do so in silence 🙁 my friend always crys poor but seems to get a new tattoo every month

I think people ‘need’ (or think they do) more nowadays as a result of the the way technology has caused instant gratification. It then filters into every day life. When we want something, we want it now.

Whereas in the 80s, people might spend months saving up if they wanted a new TV or a holiday, people today will just get one on finance or take out a loan because they need that hit now. There are also more options to do this than ever before. You get bombarded online with things telling you that you can ‘pay in three instalments’, for instance.

People also have a lot on subscription- Netflix, prime, other streaming services, hello fresh etc etc.

A lot of people used to take a flask of tea or coffee on the morning commute, whereas now they will get a Costa/starbucks. Those options weren’t around 20-30 years ago, so you made an effort to make your drink before you left the house, but now you can just fly out of the door and make a quick stop en route to pick your drink up.
Life has changed a lot.

I have just stopped on luxury items 6 months back now. As example, spa near me the day package Oct 2023 was £145. Now it is £220! My wage has not gone up! Apart from food spending little elsewhere now.

This was my childhood. Clothes came from second hand shops or jumble sales. No one got their nails or brows done. Fake tan was not a thing. We had a tv but only 4 channels and no subscriptions. We had a second hand car which was a 3 door Days out were walks in the countryside. Yet it was a happy time!

We decided to stop all take aways/eating out, saving around £60 a week. This saved £3,000 a year.
We also made all our own lunches and stopped having coffees. Savjng about £10 a day, 5 days a week. So another £2,500.
We do go out a lot, but will often eat at home, then meet friends for a drink. Or go to the cinema/theatre when tickets are cheaper.
We also got rid of the cleaner and just have a slightly less clean house (2,000)
Since changing We now have about £10,000 a year to spend on holidays (£7,000) and save the rest.
We obviously aren't on the breadline but not rolling in it either.

People have different priorities. I don't smoke or drink and have a nice income. People with lower incomes are more likely to prioritise those things so things will feel even tighter for them

errr what’s this all about? People on lower incomes smoke and drink? Get a grip

With two adults working full time and kids to take care of, people are stretched, tired and time poor. Thus they need to pay extra for convenience just to keep going. Is this luxury?

I think yabu.

We both earn good salaries and we are comfortable, but my god we don’t have much leftover, compared with what we did years ago.

I don't think I’ve ever bought a takeaway coffee in my life, a takeaway is once a month and even then it’s a bogof pizza or fish and chips, we don’t drink, smoke or vape, we take packed lunches to work/school. No finance or subscriptions. Dh does all our DIY.

Our food shop bill has doubled, council tax rocketed, energy bills still very high, water bill gone up by a third.

Wait until you are paying £££ in childcare, or feeding 4 people instead of 2, kids that need new shoes, coats, haircuts, it all eats into your salary.

Our mortgage and food are our biggest outgoings and we don’t live in a fancy house.

I'm not sure. I think those genuinely struggling are not the ones having lots of takeaways and coffees and beauty treatments.

I only really see younger people doing this and I think it's mostly because they still live with parents and have no hope of moving out on their own unless they live in a house share. Young people living rent free with parents have more disposable income than anyone else!

Housing costs are by far the biggest issue. Our first rent 10 years ago was £450 a month, then we bought a house and our mortgage wasn't much more. I looked at how much rents are around here and the average is well over £1,000 and there are very few houses for sale below £230k so a mortgage would be similar.

For families, once you add on the cost of childcare, because both parents have to work to pay for the £1000+ mortgage or rent, and running the two cars they need to get to work and childcare there's little left. Even cars now are expensive. My first car was 6 years old and was less than £2k. My 10 year old car recently sold for over £5k!

Lifestyles have changed because they've had to. When I was young my mum was the only one that had a full time job. All my friends mums worked part time or not at all. Now both parents have to work full time and commutes seem to be longer.

In my house I would definitely say that we are prioritising the wrong things.

I buy coffee most days, buy takeaways weekly & also meet friends for lunch a couple of times a week. I buy snacks every evening and purchase clothes for myself and the kids (we don’t need them). There’s probably more useless shit as well.

The above were all luxuries for me when growing up as well. Think we had a takeaway once a year. I had one pair of trainers, 1 coat and very minimal clothing, very rarely ate out etc.

I would definitely have a few hundred extra if I stopped the above, but then it does fill me with joy as well. I would be pretty unhappy if I wasn’t meeting friends for coffee and lunch etc.

They don't need to, it just makes life easier.

Lockdown really shone a light on this for me. Prior to lockdown I would eat out maybe 3 to 4 times a week catching up with friends. With lockdowns I realised I hadn't missed it, it had become a thing but nothing special. I go to restaurants far less frequently now but enjoy it so much more as a treat. Same with buying myself things.

Cost of living for us.

I am a creature of habit and a household with additional needs.
I do the exact same weekly food shop I have for 2 years. But.

My 80 weekly shop is now 140. Same stuff, no brands. Includes the nappies, cleaning stuff due to child with needs.

Rent has increased 200 a month.
Electricity increased
Council tax increased.
water bill increased
Groceries, fuel increased.

Our wages are exactly the same, we both work full time bit above min wage.

but we have 500-600 increase month in outgoings from 2 years ago.

We dont have coffees, i cook everything no takeaways..days out are free walks in parks or gardens.

The only subscription is prime, because I can get my childs supplements i was told to get cheaper with free delivery as NHS can't fund everything. Else it 50 quid a pot..

When every single bill and expense increases there is only so much cutting back you can do.

Priorities possibly in some circumstances but you cant really deny cost of living.

I just wish they'd cap the bills a bit. Increasing wages just feels like chasing your tail, they would just up everything else's cost again. (Might be wrong way of thinking, I don't understand economics or the market well at all)

They didnt though, they scrimped and saved
My DP both worked. Dm PT
Im from a big standard MC family and my parents scrimped and saved every penny
Mortgages interest rates were extortionate for the entire 1970s ( not the 90s when it was one day) The entire decade
We had clothes from jumbles sales, ate every last scrap of everything and they were always stressed about money.
There were no credit cards

This land of milk and honey myth is just so annoying
No my DP didn't benefit from house price rises because they lived in their house until they died.
The vitriol towards older people on here is just awful

There's a difference between a £1 cup of tea and a £6 Pret though.