MIL took down all my Halloween decorations 😒😒

[Orchid90]

Just that .
We went out, invited her to come out too , she refused .
Got home and she took down all
the decorations, which I wanted to keep up a bit longer as it’s my house and I like them!
I know , there are bigger problems in the world , but I’m annoyed and had to tell someone .
I would never clear up anyone’s house without their permission .
she made it clear she didn’t like them and I guess they triggered her OCD .
I am gonna have a very very dark gothic Xmas this year, I always wanted a black tree anyway.

You are entitled to feel peeved about it, and she was cheeky, but I would have been grateful for someone to have taken mine down. It took me an hour and a half, faffing around outside, on the ladder, unhooking and untangling stuff, and then coming inside and getting all the stuff out of the front windows.

And the sun is BLARING through them. Seriously, the temperature (I just took it with a thermometer,) is 26 degrees C in the windows at the front. Only about 12 outside, but the glass is magnifying the heat! Got to put all the stuff away now (hopefully I can find somewhere in our already heaving garage!!!) I bought much more stuff this year, so we have twice as much now, and I don't know where it's all gonna go! 😬

YANBU to be annoyed by it though @Orchid90 So I picked YANBU!

I agree. Vent away OP. Sometimes its the only way.

It was a Blooming Cheek! dismantling the effort you put into buying, arranging and putting up all the decs for the families entertainment.

I would have kept the decorations up for the whole weekend for the kids because they loved all the excitement of things looking different and its part of the half term holiday. I used to take them down when they went back to school on the Monday or whatever.

I had a relative who did things like this.. they were brought up to be "strictly disciplined" and would not understand things like the kids having a bit of fun with it or making a bit of a mess. Personally I think they were and liked to live in an formally correct antiseptic world.
So what if they ran about in the garden and came in covered in mud? Muddy acceptable if they'd been playing "proper sport". I'll never forget when they had a highchair with towels, set back some way from the table in an island of massive plastic sheet baby DC.. Honestly. Dexter vibes. It always felt like telling us off before we'd even done anything.

Is it a religious thing? I've heard of overly religious folk trying to dissuade kids from celebrating Halloween, and particularly dressing as witches.And that was during Potter film mania.

haha i would have put them right back up again, and left them up until 1st december when i decorated in a very over the top black gothic aesthetic

I'd have ripped her head off, and shit down her neck. She absolutely fucking would change, or she'd never be back in my home again.

I guess you get what you are willing to put up with.

I don't usually decorate outside. What made you think I did?

But it’s not though.
it just means people will walk all over you.
you can be assertive without being confrontational….. I learnt that the hard way.
Standing up for yourself leads to a very peaceful life.

She won't be around forever though and having had huge fall outs amongst family over the smallest things, I often see it's just not worth it 🤷

that's your preference. I put them up when i'm good and ready which is around a week before - just to let the neighbourhood know i'm available to be trick or treated

Pumpkins go up either the day before or on the day. Then i turn them round and leave them out as autumn decorations until they go in the bio waste collection. And then i bring the other decorations in whenever i feel like it.

but you do you

'She's a bit OCD' That expression can fuck right off for a start. There is no such thing, you either are diagnosed or you aren't.
I would have gone mental at mil had that been me and put them back up and told her to mind her own business in MY home. Love the gothic xmas idea even though I'm a pagan and oct 31st is our new years eve, love the halloween decorations though.

That post may have been a bit harsh but they do have a point.

You don't have the energy to confront her but you do have enough to come here and have a moan, which can be frustrating for readers because, well, there's not going to be a resolution, is there?

I'm a petty bitch so I would've put it all back up. Bitch would've had fake cobwebs hanging off her and a pumpkin on her CF head in a heartbeat.

Jokes aside, it's OK saying she won't change and moving on to planning an OTT Xmas but WHEN do you start standing up for yourself in your own home and tell her to get to fuck?

It's clearly long overdue.

Where is DH in all this and what are you going to do if she takes down your Xmas decs, because let's face it, nothing is stopping her!

That might be a blessing to a lot of Mners who have toxic mils. I certainly wasn't sorry when my 3rd mil died and no loss to anyone.

In my basket ! X

@JustSawJohnny
Agree
May as well start standing up for yourself and forgot the passive aggressive ott xmas decorations to get back at mil.
(which she will take down the moment your back is turned )
Kindly , she does not respect you.

Isn’t the clue in the word? Birthday not birthweek.

Don’t think that’s a display instruction.
we have had some beautiful cards over the years
We made a decision , as couple that cards would stay up a week.
These days we don’t get many cards (better for the environment) and I do try and place them well out the way, so I’m not knocking them over all the time.

Im thinking that you worry about the confrontation... is that because you worry you will get het up.. or she will.

How about both of you super calmly say. "Don't take down our decorations or change things in our house, we put time and effort into them and its up to us to decide when they need to come down the DC enjoy them... and then you do a Devil Wears Prada, "that is all".

She might surprise you by claiming to be helpful? and then you can say "and we appreciate that, but please do not do it again." and make tea or something.

But only you know what the reaction will be and whether this approach has been tried and failed in the past.

Also. I think you should be allowed to vent to get it out of your system, without necessarily coming to a conclusion/resolution You are exploring your way around it..Its not a film that needs a great ending.

Is she still there @Orchid90 ?

Ask her to help you put up your Christmas decs now 🤭

That was exactly what I thought.

Bit of an over-reaction.

You also shouldn't throw around clinical diagnoses as flippant comments if she doesn't have it

Is she very religious? She might be one of those people who believe that Halloween should be celebrated with a Light Festival.

I would put them up again for Bonfire Night, and serve her right, the nasty old trout.

I’d lose my shit over this.

Actually I know a whole family, parents in their early 40s, who are convinced that the whole thing is satanic and kids trick or treating are devil worshippers.
They're nuts.

Are you incapable of speaking for yourself or do you always need a man to speak up for the little woman? Maybe he doesn't like tacky decorations either and he might agree with her or isn't he allowed a different opinion?