Feeling a bit shaky after an encounter in Sainsbury's

[HelenSkeleton]

I just went to a Sainsbury's Local and picked up a bar of chocolate advertised at £2.40. It scanned at £3.00 and there was another shelf with the same bar at the higher price so I went to the counter, explained that I was confused about the price and the woman behind the counter went to check.

While she was doing that a woman who looked like a manager came up to me and very rudely told me there was "no need to get like that". I wasn't like anything. I was not rude, unkind, nasty or anything. I was perfectly calm. I told her I wasn't "getting like anything" and was merely confused. I was also confused by her attitude. She was very argumentative told me that "we make mistakes" which I acknowledged but she continued arguing with me saying"I've just told you we make mistakes". I hadn't even complained, simply asked for the correct price. I told her she was protesting too much at this point.

She was really confrontational at which point I said "you know what, let's just leave it" and I left the shop. I'm actually shaking and I don't know why. Her reaction was out of all proportion. I feel quite sick.

Exactly. There's some weird replies and comments but I guess that's AIBU for you!

Right!? And stalking her online??

sorry OP this is unhinged.
what is it with some users on here 'crying / shaking / feeling sick?'

surprised they don't snap and fart too.

Some of the responses saying she was probably having a bad day is more than likely spot on - but not your problem. If I feel I am being disrespected by an employee as a customer in a shop, my go to is to actually say - "Are you having a bad day?" I have the utmost respect for retail staff, but I still expect a decent level of customer service regardless of what's going on for them. Usually it switches the atmosphere to a more pleasant one, or on the odd occasion I've had staff tell me about their bad day! To which I empathise, and they feel a little better!

Anyway, I hope you can feel better soon. And your body's reaction was absolutely rational to an sureal situation.

I would be interested to hear the staff member's version of events.

Because from your replies on here and your hugely OTT reaction, I'm assuming you weren't quite as pleasant as you're claiming.

I would hazard a guess you were actually rather rude to the younger staff member, and the manager felt inclined to step in.

‘Calm down K@ren!’ would have been my response to her.

Ffs! I still can’t believe Sainsbury’s is still getting prices and deals wrong. I worked for them nearly 30 years ago and it was a massive problem then.

The manager had a bodycam. It'll all be on there.

I really don't understand why people think I'm not telling the truth. There's no point lying or embellishing because none of you know me, and if you're not honest you don't get proper advice.

Also I think some posters need to familiarise themselves with what online stalking actually is as it's clear they don't understand. It's not checking a person's name and then never looking at their profile again.

Some are also unfamiliar with the fact that different people have different flight or fight responses.

@CharlieKirkRIP I detest the term Karen. That's a whole other debate, though.

Maybe just complain to the store, the world is full of rude people, you're going to have to be much thicker skinned to get by.

But why did you need to check? Surely if you’d complained with “I spoke with Lucy* at the X road store” that would be enough?

*other names are available

I'm no pushover trust me. The reason for my post was to try and understand why I shook like that.

Shes sounds like a bellend having a bad day. Not your fault at all x

Apparently if a reaction seems disproportionate to the situation, it’s because it’s triggered a response to a different event (often but not always from childhood) which was, or felt, really genuinely threatening. Maybe you were triggered, or perhaps the manager was and your response was a reflection of her emotional state?

I've been to the theatre between 7.30 and 9.40-ish. I was on Mumsnet in the interval, and after the show, not "on here all night" I thought you'd have checked the times I posted seeing as you're so invested.

Sweet and innocent! What are you on about? If anything is unhinged it's the response from you. In fact it's nasty. Absolutely silly.

So I'm silly and nasty for pointing out what you did was wrong are you sure the manager really had a go at you, you seem to be highly sensitive to people pointing out when you are in the wrong. Can you honestly not see how its not normal to go online and search up a strangers details in this situation. Did you also go on her Facebook, see what school her kids go to. This isn't normal behaviour and using her surname in your complaint will set of alarm bells as retail staff do not give out surnames for this exact reason

Don't be ridiculous, Mumsnetters never fart

Where have I said I'll use her surname in a complaint? You've made that up. I'm not responding to your wild fabrication anymore.

I have had very rude staff at my local and on one occasion is I was accused of not paying on a self-service checkout. The staff member yelled that I didn’t pay and a few customers turned to look at me. Very quickly it was proven I had paid as I had my online transaction and they saw the register history. I received no apology. I asked to speak to the manager and the manager backed up the staff member that yelled. I was shaken from that. Since then I always get a paper receipt, in case I get questioned or accused again.

I put in an online complaint and as far as I am aware, it went nowhere.

Yep i had a very similar thing happen to me just over three months ago.

But as of last week she was still working there. They dont seem to give a shit
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/legal_matters/5394731-wrongly-accused-of-shoplifting-and-harrassment

I worked in retail pre-LinkedIn etc, was incredibly pissed off even we went from just first names on our badges to being told we had to have surnames as well. It wasn't considered safe then, the Suzy Lamplugh Trust advised against it, but management was more concerned about making it easier for staff to be complained about than our safety.

That's insane I've worked in retail for over 20 years and its always been a big thing never ever give out surnames. To many crazy people about.

So why did you search her i thought it was to get her surname?

Good job.

Write a bad review on Google reviews mentioning her personally.

But if staff did their job and weren’t aggressive - what’s the problem??

why are people excusing the staff member?

I imagine she was having a tough day. Just for context about what retail workers go through my teenage daughter who works some overtime shifts in a town centre local Sainsbury’s was threatened with r**e the other day when she asked a man to pay for his shopping. She was crying for quite a bit of her shift. Another colleague has refused to come in after having his life threatened. They literally can’t get the staff to stay as it’s a really challenging location.
Not excusing her attitude to you OP but perhaps helping with perspective?