Feeling a bit shaky after an encounter in Sainsbury's

[HelenSkeleton]

I just went to a Sainsbury's Local and picked up a bar of chocolate advertised at £2.40. It scanned at £3.00 and there was another shelf with the same bar at the higher price so I went to the counter, explained that I was confused about the price and the woman behind the counter went to check.

While she was doing that a woman who looked like a manager came up to me and very rudely told me there was "no need to get like that". I wasn't like anything. I was not rude, unkind, nasty or anything. I was perfectly calm. I told her I wasn't "getting like anything" and was merely confused. I was also confused by her attitude. She was very argumentative told me that "we make mistakes" which I acknowledged but she continued arguing with me saying"I've just told you we make mistakes". I hadn't even complained, simply asked for the correct price. I told her she was protesting too much at this point.

She was really confrontational at which point I said "you know what, let's just leave it" and I left the shop. I'm actually shaking and I don't know why. Her reaction was out of all proportion. I feel quite sick.

What happens when the price on the shelf is wrong as well?

I used to buy crunchy vitamin c tablets for about 5€ a packet then one day I got charged for more than 20€ for the same stuff. I talked the manager on the reception desk and she couldn't see the problem.

I could see the misunderstanding. The high'falutin' vitamin c plus magnesium plus b vitamins plus whatever else had been mixed up somehow. I went back and had a look at the shelf price.

I just took the loss in the end and sure enough, the week after the cheapo vitamin c crunchies were back to 5€.

This wasn't about you, it was about her.

I’d put it on social media to @sainsburys

Email head office with a complaint

Nope not getting the totally over the top reaction here. You had a disagreement with an employee of Sainsbury’s, decided it wasn’t worth the hassle walked off which I think was the fair thing to do but your shaking and feeling sick comments are just a little too much imo

Did you not say what are you talking about because I haven't said anything so can you tell me exactly what I said that you have taken offense to. If someone was accusing me of something I genuinely hadn't done id want an explanation

This is why I hate retail, people like you who do things like this. She could have been working in retail since she was 16.

Did you wait until all your shopping was scanned through and then ask for a carrier bag? The H&M assistant SHOUTED at you?

The common denominator here is you.

it is weird. You see it on here more and more as well. You're having a completely normal discussion but just happen to have disagreed with someone, but didn't insult them, use all caps or whatever, and they come out with "calm down!" or "It's not that big of a deal" or similar. I didn't say it was? I'm messaging with one eye on the phone and one on the tv/child/cooker, not frothing at the mouth.

Also the converse where someone asks if they should mention something that's gone slightly wrong or whatever - childminder being late/restaurant bringing wrong meal and people go mad saying "don't confront them!" "Just let it go!" "Why would you try and get someone in trouble over something so minor."

It's like people don't understand that there's a full spectrum of options between say/do nothing at all vs completely kick off. It's an extension of very black/white wrong/right binary thinking, with no room for nuance or shades of grey, which seems to exist more and more now.

Thanks for your comment. I thought shaking was out of proportion too. It's adrenaline, however, as I've learned up thread. Not deliberate.

My thoughts exactly. I bet she’s worked retail throughout uni if not before and got on the grad scheme. Even so 5 years experience as a manager doesn’t equate to inexperienced.

That is massively to far. You are completely out of line.

She’s not stalking. People choose to have a public profile on Linked in and the OP was looking for her full name to make sure she had the right person so an innocent person don’t get complained about.

What has she done wrong? Why does it matter if she’s been working in retail since 16?

Some people react differently in different situations.

some people aren’t good in confrontation and aren’t used to people being so rude and aggressive. This will start a fight flight freeze response and adrenaline kicks in. Different contexts will also impact the response - such as whether someone has slept, eaten, had a good/bad day.

if this made been me I’d also have got a bit shaky or hot (knowing my luck!). Especially if it’s totally out of the blue.

there’s been a few threads recently where people are putting down and dismissing the emotions of others at times of stress/upset.

I bet when you left she went and bought that cheaper bar of chocolate because it was the last one left.

@slashlover no didn't wait until I scanned everything to ask for a bag. It was 5 mins before they closed, I arrived at self check out and there were no bags anywhere so I asked for one and then he said "oh ffs". I don't think i was unreasonable- if you do a customer facing job you should be polite, it's your job

At h&m she scanned everything, signalled for me to pay, I tried to pay contactless and then she shouted 'not yet, oh what is it with everyone today"

Well said.

There's always over the top comments on mumsnet though, isn't there?
That's why I read it so much, it can be quite fascinating and hilarious at times 😁

If the situation warrants it then I am all for showing sympathy, understanding and support for a poster but for goodness sake this encounter was not a major event and as I have already said before I agree while it was not pleasant did not require a visceral reaction like shaking and feeling sick. People need to be reminded about resilience and how to shake things off and get on with life without it always being a major issue.

I wouldn’t have even complained. But to google her, get her full name and start looking at social media profiles is very bizarre. Do you normally react like this to minor confrontations?

It's completely inappropriate to be looking up the Linkedin profile of someone you had a minor interaction with in the supermarket. Because OP looked at her graduation date and said "It shows she's inexperienced."

I

Yeah, people who get to self checkout checkout completely unprepared just before closing piss me off too.

Again, she shouted?

Nobody needs reminding about resilience.

people do need to be reminded about kindness.

its great you’re able to manage these type of situations with such resilience. Congratulations. But everyone’s different.

People don't need people's full names to put in complaints the company can figure it out. Which is why nobody would ever give out there full name in a customer facing role because of the amount of weirdos about who will start searching them up on the internet and social media.

YANBU the manager was clearly having a shit day and took it out on you.

A few times, I have had retail staff take their frustrations out on me. As someone with anxiety, it can have a huge knock on effect about me going to those shops again.

I don't understand the posters mentioning you shaking. It is adrenaline... a fight/flight response. You can't help it.