Part time working

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If you work 3 days a week, have a dh and adult dcs living at home who work 5 days a week, do you think it's reasonable that you do all of the housework, shopping on the 2 days when you're not working? This isn't a reverse.

Yanbu- yes you should do all of the tasks
Yabu- no you shouldn't do all of the tasks

Honestly yeah, and I do work part time. You have two full days more than everyone else. So I would think you’d do the lions share of it.

I work 3 days a week and have 3 kids. I would say it's reasonable to do most of the housework but everyone should still be pitching in to some extent.

I end up finding that because I do most of it, the others don't take care as they know someone else will sort it out so I make sure I pull everyone up on things they could be doing to help.

I think it’s reasonable to expect you to do the lions share, assuming you and DH share finances fairly, that your contribution is recognised, and the adult DC are paying board.

But I would expect the adult DC to do their own bedrooms and laundry and perhaps cook a meal one night a week. The evening chores I.e. dinner and cleaning up afterwards should be shared with whoever is around.

I work part time 3.5 days and 2 AC not at home. The 1.5 days off I have I do cleaning, shopping, and batch cooking. If there’s any housework left needing doing on the weekend my DH and I split it. He doesn’t mind (he tends to have certain cleaning jobs which he likes doing). He tries to encourage me to meet friends etc on my day off but to me it doesn’t feel fair. Also then we both have the weekend free to have fun and relax.

There’s a big difference between the bulk of, and all.

I’d expect people to tidy up after themselves, take turns clearing up after dinner, preparing shared meals, laundry (either doing own, or doing that portion of shared), keeping personal spaces clean and tidy (own bedrooms and bathrooms).

I’d expect to be the person doing the weekly shop, hoovering the hall, stairs and landing etc.

In a house where you have multiple adults working I’d expect everyone to pitch in to pay a cleaner!

Otherwise op might as well work full time if she’s cleaner and maid or her days off.

I think, assuming you and your dh are pooling the money and you get the benefit of his presumably larger because he works more wage, then you should ‘work’ the same amount of time they are working.
i would get the main weekly household clean, couple of loads of laundry, and the shop done for example on those 2 days.

BUT, if you’re all at home relaxing on a Saturday, it is no more your job to make dinner and clean up after it than anyone else’s.

The bit here which I question is adult DCs.

I think spending your non working days doing chores for adult children is different to if they’re <18.

If there are that many of you working, why not pitch in and get a cleaner?

Depends on salary and enjoyment. I would far rather clean my own house with my music blasting out, than work. Ditto my own garden. That’s a personal decision.

Because cleaners generally don’t

• do the weekly shop
• laundry
• washing up (or unloading the dishwasher)
• tidy up
• come every day

i know I sound like a grouch but I do get a bit fed up of cleaners being pushed on here like they just solve every issue involved in keeping a house in working order. They literally just clean, and that’s the easy part. Tidying, maintenance, meals, washing and moreover on a daily basis is a lot more.

If I was in this position (and tbh, I kind of am - and probably will be even when my children are adults) I’m happy doing the majority for sure, but working full time doesn’t automatically resolve everyone else’s household responsibilities especially if you’re financially contributing. I’d happily do tasks such as daily hoovering, laundry, the food shop etc but I’d be expecting everyone to clean up after themselves (I absolutely wouldn’t be cleaning my adult DC’s rooms apart from a quick hoover if I was already upstairs) , wash up their own plates after meals, put their own clean clothes away etc but that’s just the standard anyway imo!

No, of course they don’t but they do allow you more time to do those other things. You could ask the cleaner to change the beds and put a couple of washes on whilst they were there cleaning for example.

And I also wouldn’t be spending both of my days off getting everything done. I’d check a few things off the list like maybe cleaning the bathroom, a quick vac everywhere and a couple of loads of laundry but anything leftover will be shared on the weekend! Like others have said, there’s no point even working part time if you’re expected to be a 24/7 maid during your 2 days off.

Yes I agree with this exactly. Yes you should do the vast majority of it but not literally 100 per cent of everything. And also it sort of depends on how messy the other adults are too as to what's reasonable. Like if you're talking about adults who do tidy up after themselves and put their stuff in the dishwasher etc then yes do the rest. If you're talking about lazy, inconsiderate adults who leave dirty clothes and dishes laying about everywhere and spill or make a big mess cooking breakfast and just leave it, then no it's not reasonable to expect you to go around picking everything up like some sort of personal maid.

I would certainly expect to be doing the lions share of housework if I had 2 full days to myself while everyone else was at work. I think it's a bit different if you work part time but have small children at home as it can be difficult to get things done.
I wouldn't be cleaning the bedrooms or doing the laundry of adult DC's though as that's not preparing them to live independently.

I work part time, DH works full time and we have two young kids in nursery/school. Yeah I do pretty much all the housework and cooking which I feel is fair. At the weekend and evenings when DH is home he mucks in with the daily stuff like the eving toys tidy up, after dinner clearing, will stick a washing in if the basket is full, general clearing up after himself etc but the actual cleaning like the bathrooms, kitchen, hoovering the floors and mopping, changing the beds that kind of thing I do when he’s at work and kids are at school. It leaves more time for family when we are all together. Tbh I still get a fair amount of down time to read and chill a bit after it’s done so think I’m getting a fair deal!

I work 3 days a week. DH works shifts over 7 days, so not always around at weekends. One school age DC and a student DC at home. We have a fortnightly cleaner, which is helpful as it forces other inhabitants to be tidy!

I do all the managing, and majority of laundry, food shopping, batch cooking. DC are in charge of the dishwasher and clearing up after meals most days. Nothing gets washed if it’s not in the laundry basket. I do some ironing but only for myself and school uniform, I refuse to do anything else!

Student DC cooks sometimes, is encouraged to do their own laundry and will happily clean their own room the week our cleaner not here. They’re expected to do more, it’s training for leaving home!

OP, I think it’s reasonable for you to do the majority of it, but others need to pitch in. No way would I clean adult DCs rooms, I’d expect them to do laundry and cook dinners at least once or twice a week. If you have more than one bathroom, I’d only be cleaning one of them! Everyone should be tidying up after themselves.

Yes I do exactly this and think I should as I still get 2 days at the weekend to relax.

I work two days and have the grandchildren (baby and 4 yr old) two days.
DH works very long hours so I do the bulk of the cleaning and laundry on the day off him the middle, and top up cleaning at the weekend. I also do all the 'life admin' We have adult DS1 at home, he is autistic but cleans his room and strips his bed fortnightly (bed one week, room the next) and he'll empty the dishwasher...we are gradually building his self help skills!

But we both do daily laundry/cook.

I think it's fair to do most of the cleaning etc if you are home, but at weekends everyone should pitch in with anything that still needs doing!

I should add to this, he does all the housework admin stuff, I do all the kids admin, he does the garden, I do the shopping both for food and kids stuff, and we both have absolute complete access to all finances. So although I do the lions share of housework I absolutely don’t feel like a maid and it feels like a very equal partnership.

I work 3 days a week, basic dusting and hoovering is down to me

dh and i share the cooking, laundry and shopping, ds2 tends to do a bit of a shop for himself midweek and keeps his bedroom clean, he does his own laundry and is learning to cook so makes one meal a week

dh does bins, bathrooms and dishwasher as well as the bulk of the diy and gardening

Ooooo he does life admin

When I worked part time 3 days a week it was for childcare reasons but also I did do most of the housework on those two days, and a big food shop. Other household tasks were shared with DH at the weekends.
If you work less at home it’s fair that you do more work at home. Not to do absolutely everything though especially as your DC are adults

Otherwise op might as well work full time if she’s cleaner and maid or her days off
Or of course, she can get on with it, do it all in a morning and still have a lot of leisure time.

I don't know any family that requires a cleaner and maid 2 full days a week!

Saying that, no I don't think a PT person should do EVERYTHING, but yes, the majority of it.