Part time working

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If you work 3 days a week, have a dh and adult dcs living at home who work 5 days a week, do you think it's reasonable that you do all of the housework, shopping on the 2 days when you're not working? This isn't a reverse.

Yanbu- yes you should do all of the tasks
Yabu- no you shouldn't do all of the tasks

Well you have 4 days of so yeah

I think all the people living in the house ought to do their share, given their age, free time and capabilities.

I am surprised at everyone on here saying OP should do it all. Certainly not for adult children, she will just end up a slave like me. Everyone should help a bit.
Before I was retired last year I worked part time so did everything at home, including finance and admin for the home.much like many here have suggested. Now husband (also retired) tries to help but he doesn't cook and needs to be told what jobs need doing, simply because he's never had to do it. Also he takes ages to do stuff and it gets on my nerves. I still do almost everything.
I have 2 adult children still living at home who do nothing in the main home (apart from Dd who cooks 1 meal most weeks). When they go on holiday my work is so much easier. I have had conversations where I have insisted they do more and they agree to do a chore at the weekend because they "are tired" after working all week. That happened just a few times anyway. Well if they lived on their own they would have to shop, cook, clean and do laundry! I am old and ruddy tired myself! Plus I never get a day off. I wish I had not been such a martyr all these years because no one else is pulling their weight now. And for all those about to suggest I stop doing everything it makes no sense economically for everyone to cook or do laundry separately...

🤣😂😅

Well I have 2 extra than the others.

I hear you! Same with the meals then you end up with 2 lots of electric/gas/water being used.
My dcs clean/tidy their own bedrooms, put their washing in the laundry basket and change their beds so I guess it's not so bad.
They will also walk the dog if I ask so I guess I'm quite lucky really on reflection.

It's the adult children though. You'd have much less work if they weren't there (same as me). If they didn't live at home they would have to cook, clean, shop, do laundry etc gir themselves after work. So they should be taking some of the load off you to prepare them for later on.
It's not fair to suggest it's all your responsibility.

Yeah exactly so the majority should fall on you on them 2 days so that everyone gets 2 days to relax

Thank you. Yes mine see to their rooms, change their beds etc. And they look after the dog well when we go on holiday but it's not enough now I feel. I'd like them to cook more and give me a break and help with a bit of cleaning. 😀

But no one gets two days to relax because even at weekends someone has to cook, feed the dog, do a bit of laundry, wash up etc on those days and I bet it's OP.

Frankly if my kids were paying over the odds and I could pocket it for a holiday I'd be very happy!

I'm just sick of the narrative that a man working full time should expect to come home to a clean house if his wife works part time and still contributes half to the family pot. It's her time. If he lived alone, he'd expect to work full time and do his own housework so why does a part ftime wife get him off the hook?

Bollocks to them.

If they lived alone they'd be working full time and doing it all.

If they wear socks, it's reasonable to expect them to wash them.
If they eat food, it's reasonable to expect to have to wash and put away the dishes.

Funny how instead of thinking they should muck in by doing their own and "helping" by putting the rest of the load on, they expect you to do it all.

Except its not funny, it's pig ignorant and lazy to think having you in the house means that instead of everyone being responsible for themselves and making life easier for everyone they think they have zero housework to do.

Pigs.

See the thing is, the fact you’re even posting this- chances are the days you do a full day and so do they you’re probably still the one left to do the lions share (a bs phrase, we know it really means everything). Households should be tag teams.

That's why I said the majority and not all

youalright

Well you have 4 days of so yeah

Women’s days off aren’t days off. My day off the other day I drove dh to train station, kids off to various things, changed sheets on beds, unclogged toilet then normal cleaning. Then went to buy trick or treating stuff and something for a costume. Cooked that night after collecting and organised kids stuff for swimming, drove ds to night shift then collected. In at 830 the following day for a ten and a half hours shift after drops offs and making sure the younger ones could definitely be collected and dropped home before dh finished work. Straight after work I went and collected ds from night shift. Let’s not kid ourselves that anyone gets to have actual days off when they have kids!!!

But most people work 5 days a week op works 3 so she has 2 days to do the bulk and then everyone including her gets the 2 days. If your doing everything on your 2 days of and dp is doing nothing then you have a dp problem

Indeed, most of us work 5 days a week, commute most of these days, and still manage to have all the housework done and have weekends off.

If you keep on top of it, it doesn't take that long - and if you refuse to employ a cleaner, you can't complain it takes longer than if you had one.

As long as everyone is clean and tidy anyway, the house can be always "visitor-ready" which is peak MN goal 😂but very easily done in real life.

I have no sympathy for people who chose to spend their weekends doing housework and then complain they have no weekend (not the OP, who 's not the one who said that)

If I worked FT, and my DP worked 3 days and still felt hard done by and expected me to the shopping and housework beyond tidying up after myself, well, that conversation wouldn't be a particularly long one put it that way.

The reason to be part time was childcare related so thats the extra bit I do. DH always has done all the cleaning

Why would he need to get up a hour early? He just does it at the weekend, 1 load plus bringing his white school shirts down to go in with my whites. Bedding every other week. He cooks for himself a couple of times per week too, as he needs to eat early before his evening activities.

I think it depends on the reasons why you're only working part time. If it's because of disability/ill health, then you probably need that time to rest. Likewise, if you're a high earner and can afford to pay your fair share of the household bills while working 3 days a week, then you shouldn't have to use your days off to do housework. However, if you're able-bodied but relying on your husband (and potentially kids) to subsidise you being at home, then I think it's only fair that you should do the bulk of the housework - there can't be much more than 2 days of work to do, surely?

I do think your dc and your dh should clear up after themselves, and it's reasonable to ask them to chip in with the cooking sometimes.

As in my other posts both of mine change their beds/bring their laundry down/ are responsible for their rooms which they both keep tidy /vacuum. Both of them can cook/ use the washing machine and know how to clean etc. So they won't get a shock!
Some of the responses on here have given me a good laugh today-from the "bollocks to them" to the MN "visitor ready" which I hadn't come across in the years that I've been on MN 😂🤣

my kids are not home at the weekend! They have just enough time to do all their homework, but I am teaching them as much as I can that weekends are for living, and they have non-stop sports competitions, and friends parties and a life in general.

Weekdays are the normal school + clubs+ homework

Even homework is hard to squeeze in to make sure it's done as much as it should be.

Last thing I want is them wasting time with laundry. Dirty laundry goes in the right basket when they have a shower, that takes just as long as leaving on the floor would, and we are not doing that.

Kids should be kids. They start being a bit more efficient when they are teens, not 12 yo kids.

Most not all. I think the issue will all is people start to treat you like a skivvy. My view is adults pick up and clean up after themselves. If you use a sink, you rinse it out, if you eat a meal you put your plate away. Which means the bigger household chores are quick to do.

Oh you must have the "MN visitor-ready"! It's on most of the threads!
It's a very bizarre concept, when people must be given at least 2 hours warning. 😂