Part time working

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If you work 3 days a week, have a dh and adult dcs living at home who work 5 days a week, do you think it's reasonable that you do all of the housework, shopping on the 2 days when you're not working? This isn't a reverse.

Yanbu- yes you should do all of the tasks
Yabu- no you shouldn't do all of the tasks

Yanbu.
Although all the adults should chip in at weekends and do something around the house. But the PT worker should be able to blitz quite a lot on their two non-working days as well as a gym session or two if needed.

If you are pooling the money then yes, though emphasis on the 'bulk of' and not all.

If not pooling the money then no

No.

I think it depends how much everyone is putting into the family pot.

DC shouldn't be earning a full time wage and having mum running round after them.

If you are paying half to the family pot then you've paid your share.

Look at it this way - if you were in a house share, noone would expect you to pay for your room and then clean up after everyone else because you're home more so family members that expect you to do it re taking the piss.

I work 3 days a week while DH works full time. I do most of the cleaning, washing, kids’ admin, money stuff, booking holidays. We share cooking equally in term time as two of my longer work days he gets home earlier for the kids so he cooks those days.

That's an interesting thought! Maybe I should ask for cleaning money.😂 I don't mind as dh and dcs cook the occasional meal and whoever cooks then someone else washes up. Dcs vacuum their own rooms.

However the washing is usually my job and if dh needs to do it makes it clear that he thinks he shouldn't be doing it, that it's my job and aren't I lucky as according to him most men wouldn't do any laundry!! A bit stuck in the 1950s I think.

Maybe not absolutely everything because some jobs are better done by two and/or in a relationship you'll have different skill sets, but definitely the bulk of it.

When was working smiliar hours, it felt "correct" that I saw to the house and garden on my two weekday non working days, so that weekends and evenings could be leisure time for everyone.

My husband work full time
I work part time + life admin/house work equal to full time

We share all jobs done after thar.

Thanks. That makes sense but they've all got the attitude I should do everything on my 2 days off. It's very hard to justify it so this is good advice. A friend said that I shouldn't have to do it all which is why I posted on here for some assistance in this......

Not all of it. I think on the 3 days you work the cooking and clearing up should be shared. I think things like hoovering and cleaning the bathroom etc can be done on days when you are at home as no one wants to do that when they get home from work late and they shouldn't be expected to if there is someone who can do it on another day.

I dont think how much you're putting in the pot has any relevance at all. Not everything is financial.

If it's all about the pot, in your example you could 2 high flying DC prepared company over the odds in keep to avoid any chores and two FR working parents, with one (let's face it, the DH) earning 4 x as much as the other. Does that mean DW still does all the chores?

I don't like the idea of having a cleaner tbh. I think that I should do the majority and the dcs clean their own bedrooms, change their beds etc. It's just sometimes if an areas messy it's seen as my job to sort it on my days off. It was just a friend's comment made me wonder what others thought and what they do.

I dont put anything in the pot….im still not going to do all the cleaning

I work 3 days a week. DH works 5. We have an 11yo.

I cook 3 days a week, DH does 2, DS eats at MIL’s 2 days. I do the school/family admin, food planning and shopping and DS’s washing (I’m training him to do his own). We have a cleaner.

I don’t do DH’s washing or tidy up after anyone.

So are you a stay at home mum then? Can understand that but equally you shouldn't be an unpaid housekeeper so agree there. Think I read somewhere that French women used to get paid by their dh to be housekeeper or did I imagine that?

I work 4 days a week but I am also elected so have meetings and community events to attend on evenings and weekends.

DH does not currently work (fingers crossed he’ll find something soon)
We have a cleaner who does 2 hours a week and then once a month will come for 4 hours.

I do all the planning and all the shopping - DH cooks it and does all cleaning up.
He’s currently doing all the additional housework / gardening/ redecorating and is doing more to hands on ‘support’ the children with their learning (exams for 2 of them loom large).
When he returns to work I imagine I will pick up more laundry / my ironing. The children have v few responsibilities, I have asked DH to teach them to cook a few meals and work washing machine with a view to them being able to chip in.
Adult working children I would expect to be doing own washing or a share of the family laundry, changing own beds, not leaving bathrooms and kitchen in a state (picking up after themselves) cooking the odd meal. Are they paying board etc?

Minimum things adult children should be doing for themselves:

Generally tidying up after themselves throughout the house
Keeping their room tidy
Stripping their beds
Putting dirty clothes into the hamper
Taking plates etc back to the kitchen
Tidying bathroom up after themselves e.g. towels
Emptying dishwasher/washing up
Taking turns making dinner
Helping with bigger chores e.g. washing windows

It also depends why the part time working parent is part time. Ill health, semi retired, volunteering etc. they I'm sure wouldn't have chosen to swap 2 days working for 2 days skivvying for a house of adults.

Yes I believe the part time worker should do more housework.
Im part time, wouldn’t expect someone working 50+ hours to come home and start cleaning or cooking if I’ve been off all day.

You should do what you can reasonably fit into those two days, yes. Everything excess should be shared by everyone.

yes, you imagined that, what do you think?

I think it's completely irrelevant who is part-time who is full-time, male or female.

Of course the one working part-time does cleaning/ shopping.

Only on MN do people spend their weekends doing chores, most adults I know get everything out of the way during the week - the ones working full time at least, so they actually HAVE a weekend!

It doesn't mean the rest of the household should be rude and treat it like a dump. Tidy after yourself, clean after yourself - put things in dishwasher, in laundry basket, empty the dishwasher, take bins out in turn. It doesn't require a schedule, you see what needs done and you just .. do it? Things you teach your kids from early childhood.

Not every single thing but the majority. I worked 3 days a week when my DC were young, so most of the time I had at least one of them home with me on my non-working days. I did the majority of the housework then because I was in the house more. Eg I did most of the laundry, all vacuuming, cleaning bathroom and kitchen etc. When both of us were home we split things, eg I cooked dinner and he cleared up.

I would do:

A weekly clean of the communal areas and your/dh’s bedroom
Laundry for you and dh
Online food shop (use Alexa so that everyone can add bits to it throughout the week when things run out)
Meals for you and dh on the days that you are off (would probably cook for adult dc’s on those days too)
Any house admin, sorting bills, t/c’s etc
General garden maintenance
Touch ups of paint/general household maintenance

No way would I be changing adult dc’s beds and doing their laundry, I don’t even do that for my 12yo

I wouldn’t be cooking for them every night either, I’d only do it if convenient for me

Your adult dc’s will get a shock when they finally move into their own home, I feel sorry for any future wife/husband of theirs

I also think whoever refuses to have a cleaner cannot complain to have to do the chores. Can't have it both ways!

But we are not animals, not doing chores doesn't mean it's acceptable to be messy and not clean after yourself, that's just as basic as brushing your teeth.

poor kid, 12 is far too young to do their own laundry and change their own bed.

I wouldn't expect mine to get up an hour earlier to do all that, and that's the only time they would have to do it during school days and most of the holidays. They need sleep

More of the housework yes but not all of it

apart from anything, adult DC aren't learning anything about what it takes to look after house. How will they manage when they have their own place?