"watch your lip"

[Dogmama991]

So context: I WFH all day, did 2 hours of dog walks, gym then went food shop - didn't stop all day. Partner was off work, slept til 11am, played video games all day with friends until 7.30 when dinner was about ready.

We sat down for dinner (grazing Infront of TV) and afterwards when I finished (he was still eating but a picky dinner). I picked up my.phone to text my sister back. He gave me a very obvious scowl (a well known look for me to get off my phone) and I said to him "I am texting my sister back quickly, I think that's fair and you've been chatting to friends all day". His response was to "watch my lip". I feel f*cking annoyed tbh. Like it's ok for him to do what he likes but I'm a child to be told off but maybe I am seeing it irrationally. AIBU?

If this isn't the first time it's happened then in his eyes he can just speak to you like that because nothing does happen.
If this is the first time it's happened you need to make it clear it will be the last.
No way should any adult speak to another adult like that

What do you like about him?

That's a threat. One that I think would be followed up with violence.

You need to end this relationship safely so that he doesn't follow up with the implied violence (probably by next weekend if he's at this verbal stage now).

Who else would have walked the dog and done the shopping given that he was being a child playing at online games all day? Are you really excusing him talking to the OP like that?

It’s awfully hard to believe that an adult woman with a paying job and access to the internet, in 2025, would submit to living like this, @Dogmama991…

Are you afraid to live alone?

I have actually ended the relationship this week as this was the final straw among many other things and getting my living situation sorted

Glad to hear it.

Being in a relationship never, ever means you should turn yourself into a doormat.

You should never, ever have to apologise for texting your sister.

You should never be threatened with violence or made to feel on edge by someone you live with.

And it is completely fine to live alone. Whether or not you’re in a relationship.

👏 👏 👏 OP, good luck with the future.

So delighted to read you are leaving that scummy lowlife.
You deserve so much better than him.

As I said, that's why I asked OP. She said that he asked what needed doing and she never said what her response was. I have never said that I excused his behaviour. I asked a bit more about their set up and OP declined to answer. It looks as though she has taken the time to think about their relationship dynamic and decided it's not for her any more.

I think of that as the kind of old fashioned lower class expression my father might have used in the 1950s. Do people still use such expressions? To be fair my father worked on the Liverpool docks as a casual labourer and picked up all kinds of colourful expressions.

Ill give you a thick lip/what for/down the banks/somethig to bloody well cry for.

Well done @Dogmama991 I hope things go well for you.
Maybe someone will read your post and be inspired to end their own poor relationship.
Best wishes for a wonderful life ahead of you xx

Well done @Dogmama991 . Best wishes for happier times ahead.

Urgh, just fuck him off! The fact that he let you do the dog walk and shopping when he was off would be enough. Never mind the watch you lip comment.

People in abusive relationships have often been abused so much, they lose rational thinking and could be convinced that left is right as they can be so damaged.

Good for you OP. Really pleased to read that.

If you can, get some therapy and consider doing the freedom programme. Best of luck. 💐

Upset and sad as you may be feeling OP, you've definitely made the right decision. Give yourself time to heal, and one day you'll ask yourself what you ever saw in him.

Just in case you don’t know this and need to hear this, you are an adult and can be on your phone in your own home whenever you want.

I wouldn’t like DH being on his phone at the dinner table, but I prevent that by engaging in interesting conversation, not by laying the law down.

Sorry, made cardinal error of not realising it was an older thread and reading the updates.

Congratulations OP!