"watch your lip"

[Dogmama991]

So context: I WFH all day, did 2 hours of dog walks, gym then went food shop - didn't stop all day. Partner was off work, slept til 11am, played video games all day with friends until 7.30 when dinner was about ready.

We sat down for dinner (grazing Infront of TV) and afterwards when I finished (he was still eating but a picky dinner). I picked up my.phone to text my sister back. He gave me a very obvious scowl (a well known look for me to get off my phone) and I said to him "I am texting my sister back quickly, I think that's fair and you've been chatting to friends all day". His response was to "watch my lip". I feel f*cking annoyed tbh. Like it's ok for him to do what he likes but I'm a child to be told off but maybe I am seeing it irrationally. AIBU?

Do you like him? He definitely doesn’t like you!

‘Partner’ suggests something equal and in balance - I think you’ve used the wrong word here - ‘master’ or ‘controller’ might work better

That’s coercive control OP. Make sure you get all the screen time you want by leaving him.

Sounds like an Eastenders scene from the 90s.

Well I am glad everyone agrees that he is a complete twat. Now acting like nothing happened which I guess for him it hasn't as he expects he can just speak to me that way and carry on

Are you going to do anything about it? As, if not, he’s right. He can just speak to me that way and carry on. And I’m sure this isn’t the first time.

If my DH said that to me, we'd be having a serious conversation about respect, bags and the front door location.

Why are you putting up with it.

He asked me what was happening with shops and dog which usually means he wants me to sort.

So what if it was what he wanted? He wasn’t working, you were. Why on earth would you be the one running errands and walking the dog, as well?

OP, woman up.

'Watch your lip'?!! What are your thoughts as you read that back. It would be the very end of the relationship for me. My response would be "goodbye, have a nice life".

Is he incapable of making the dinner if he wants it earlier? Or doing some of the jobs OP did in order to facilitate an earlier dinner time?

Seriously, why are you with this useless lump?

It’s rude and controlling. And why did you do the food shop and both dog walks if he was off and you were working?

We do all agree but now we all want to know what you're going to do about it.

Simple answer. "Or what?"

He wouldnt be getting another word out of me until he gave a sincere answer to that. The rest is just noise. Situations arise, we piss each other off. Its life.

He needs to learn that the adult in him should never have said that, unless it was seriously in jest. I know me and my partner have said things similar whilst giving side eye and laughing. Thats entirely different to saying it in a controlling manner.

So do something about it then, because sooner or later (my guess is sooner), "watch your lip" will be replaced by " it's not my fault you've got that black eye, you made me do it".

I am sitting thinking about how to approach it. If I bring it up as a discussion I know he is going to either laugh and say it was a joke (clearly it wasn't) or justify it and what not. So I don't really know what to say to him other than I'll be swiftly leaving if he ever speaks to me in that way again.

I think that last statement is fine. It doesn't need a discussion.

He threatened you. Why do you think you're being unreasonable?

Why wait until he speaks to you like that again, what does he bring to your life.

Ye gods. I get this is only a snapshot of your life but I really hope you have the wherewithal to leave him to his self absorbed aggression

This! You say “you honestly don’t know”.

1. You felt upset enough to post on MN
2. His comment upset and or disturbed you
3. It’s got nothing to do with your phone use or texting your DSis (although he has no right to control your phone use)

Don’t let any man talk to you like that!
Now you do know! Apologies if I sound harsh, but I am raging for/with you.

Threads like these make me so embarrassed to be a woman. Just yet another post with another desperate woman who will stay in a relationship with anyone no matter what. Just stay with him and do as your told op you need to apologise and beg for his forgiveness then hand over your phone to him until he let's you use it again like a good little girl.

LTB and I never say that !

“Watch your lip (or else)!” Get it OP!

Yes exactly hes talking to you Luke a child and letting you clean and cook dinner!

My response would be 'well you need to watch your fucking mouth'. And I wouldn't hesitate. And then I would have a go at him for speaking to me like that.
Is there a reason you would not be able to respond back like that to him speaking to you like that? If so then I would be thinking about why you would feel unable to be forthright and if he is controlling and emotionally abusive.